“Life is filled with little passings.
The sharp scent of grass after a hard rain
The quicksilver water, still as a mirror
After a rolling thunder.
Safire sky when the day has passed –
The Sun beyond the horizon.
The moment before the night descends –
Your mind still and heart waiting –
For the quiet,
Just before the stars begin.”
~ Maria Lehtman, Little Passings, Book: Dew Drops
When the perfectionist steps in…
A friend of mine from the BIZCATALYST 360° contributor family recently wrote to my Facebook profile (yes, indeed, some of us dinosaurs still use that) that I really need to write blogs more often. I always have that urge to write at the back of my head. I am certain it is what every writer lives with. A hunger to express yourself in words and imagery. Without it, we feel suffocated, as if a vital part of my life was removed.
The question was not so much about writing at all. In challenging times, I tend to focus on the closest circle. So rather than cast my net far and wide, I am focusing on the people I miss the most. I post my photographs and poems or thoughts quickly through the mobile. It is easy, quick, and allows me to have a creative moment that does not tax my health too much. Naturally, it does require that I stop browsing social media after posting…. more easily said than done. I am now getting better at it simply because my physique says, rather painfully, time’s up.
However, my friend then continued in his comment, my posts could be poems, prose, imagery, anything. And I realized that behind my blogging breaks were not only health issues. After all, I did spend time on the mobile browsing posts. The real reason was my little perfectionist that kept telling me that I needed to write more and perhaps more, be more.
So my advice to you is: If you have that little perfectionist inside you. Stop and listen to her/him. When you understand what that side of you wants to accomplish, you realize what may be holding you back. Then choose the path that is most convenient for you. Close out the perfection and consider: what does my heart say?
My heart says that there are many like me out there. People who struggle with life in general. The whirlwind of emotions we go through when there are no road signs to guide us and say: this way to your destination. Forget about the doing your utmost, perhaps even your best. Do what is right for you. If there is anything that brings you joy and keeps you energized with the goodness of life, choose that path even if just for minutes at a day.
The magic of nature
Another friend of mine commented on my post that I really do love the Finnish nature. I admit that I am proud of our land of thousands of lakes and islands. We have so much greenery and beauty. It is a habit that I add a hashtag #Finland on my posts. My grandfather fought for this country as did so many other young men. Some of them never made it back home. My grandfather did, but like many others – a part of his personality was left behind. The humorous, smiling, laid-back gentleman was now serious, hardworking father, and never slept without nightmares. In his late years in the hospital my grandfather would turn to my mother and say: “Thank you for being here. I will now sleep without nightmares.” My mother would visit him as often as she could.
I think about my mother and my grandparents every time I walk in nature. My mother loved gardening and herbs. She dedicated her life to discovering the magic of nature. She studied healing in its different forms, natural remedies till the very end. She never gave away her most precious plant Bach flower remedy cards and notes. After her passing, I placed the cards and notes on the bookshelf next to me. While I do not have the energy to study the subject as she did, I know she wanted to preserve the information. And who knows, perhaps someday I too fill find the urge to study them. For now, I am happiest taking photographs of nature, and valuing the beautiful flora and fauna of our nation, just like my mother and grandparents did. And during every walk, I feel they are close to me.
Take care and stay safe!
“I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze …”
~William Wordsworth
Hi Maria, I was just about to start my day studying (real estate) and your post on Create to Uplift caught my eye. I am happy to have read this wonderdul blog. It’s funny how, as I get older, I find that my little perfectionist voice shows up more and more often! Thank you for sharing your insights, I am sure your advice will serve me! I will share!
~Nathalie
Hi Nathalie, I really appreciate your comments and agree with your thoughts. In some respects I see that the bar is higher because I keep comparing what was to what is. We can be much kinder towards ourselves. I remember my peers when I studied in a mixed grad school with different ages. There was so much more pressure on folks who hadn’t studied for a while and came back to it. Now I am beginning to realize how they must have felt. On the other hand, the oldest graduate had just turned 70. I had great respect for her.
I love this my dear friend
Thank you so much, Larry – you are one of the inspirations for me to write, and to challenge my boundaries of how to write. I am grateful for the motivation you and Dennis always share.
Thank you for your beautiful words and insights Maria. This morning, they served a wonderful reminder that it ok to just be.
Thank you, Laura – very happy you found my post useful. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’ve had a challenging path these past months, and I realized that the only way forward is trying to do it the right way. Finding another type of balance between the ‘want-to-be’, ‘need-to-be’, ‘scared-to-be’ and accepting advice how to maneuver between the different stages.