No, I Am Not Broken

Contrary to popular belief the events that have transpired have not broken me.  I don’t strive to be strong.  I don’t strive to be a survivor.  I strive to add value and happiness to the world around me.

At the core of who I am is an honest, loving, caring person that sometimes doesn’t say what I want to say because I know that the other person is just who they are and my opinion is just my opinion.  In my daily life, I will exclude those that are people who don’t add value and happiness to my life.  In my work life, I don’t have that as an option.

So no, I’m not broken.  I just think differently.  I don’t play political games with people.  That doesn’t make me happy and it provides no value.  I want to do what is right for the greater good because in my mind that is what will bring the most value and the most happiness to the largest amount of people.

I do care what others think.  More people should.  It would make for a society where others are respected, that other’s opinions matter, that there is a free flow of ideas and concepts.

The person who races by in their expensive car, that weaves in and out of traffic, that then complains when they get wherever they are going in such a hurry of how no one drives well.

I do need to work more on not caring about other people who do not hold value in the world around them.  The person who races by in their expensive car, that weaves in and out of traffic, that then complains when they get wherever they are going in such a hurry of how no one drives well.  They are the fabric of what makes our society into the non-caring, self-centered, egotistical culture that it has become.

So no, I may have retreated to lick my wounds.  I may have been on the brink of complete despair, I may have lost track of my value, I may not have realized my gifts,  I may have allowed others to affect me in a way that it caused me to behave poorly.    But I am not broken.

I have cracks that have been repaired and may be at greater risk for breaking again, but the glue of who I am, the people I surround myself with, the gifts that are uniquely me, will repair any old or new cracks that are formed.  The glue that repairs those cracks will make me stronger.

So no, I’m not broken, and no, I’m not weak.  Through my experiences, I may have broken but with each break, I have emerged glued back together with a stronger understanding of that which is truly important in life.  I have a clearer picture of who I am.  I am able to spend a day fully in the joy that each day brings.

So no, I’m not broken, I am not weak, I am stronger than you could ever imagine.

Raissa Urdiales
Raissa Urdiales
Raissa lived most of her life along the shores of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin. She currently lives in the quiet city of Tega Cay, South Carolina, just across the border from the very active art community of Charlotte, North Carolina. Raissa has not always considered herself as an artist. She spent a great portion of her adult life staring into computer screens and managing computer system implementations and upgrades in the traditional corporate setting. It was through a chance paint night that she discovered her passion for painting. On her 51st birthday, she treated herself to some acrylic paints and brushes and has not stopped painting since. She balances her passion for creating with her day job as a systems analyst. In the wee hours of the morning, you will find her painting before she immerses herself in the technology that is consuming the world today. Although Raissa does not have formal training in the arts she is very conscious of the benefits it has on the human psyche. She holds a Bachelor's of Science majoring in Psychology where she focused her studies on Organizational Psychology. Through her corporate career, she has learned how to strike a balance between that which provides monetary reward and that which fulfills us as humans. For her, this balance is obtained through painting, writing, and exercise. She is currently a member of the Guild of Charlotte Artists where she exhibits select pieces during the quarterly art shows in and around the Charlotte Metropolitan Area. She has also submitted and is featured regularly in the Light Space & Time online gallery. When she is not painting or working with computer systems, she is writing. She currently has a column with BIZCATALYST 360° named “Artful Being” where she writes on topics both in and out of her corporate life to help others gain balance on what it is to be human.

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  1. Thank you for a very inspiring story. It brought a little tear to my eye and yet it did make me smile. I too have walked a dark path in the past. And as you say we are not broken perhaps we Are even stronger than we imagine. For me I am a better person knowing you and all the wonderful people in this amazing group we belong too.

  2. Great message! It reminded me of a video I once saw of a broken bowl repaired with cracks of gold and emerging with far more value. But this article was better! The cracks in between don’t make you broken or weaken you. Some broken people don’t think so but there is no doubt that, on the contrary, they make you wiser and more experienced. They make you a better person.

    • Exactly! I would not trade any one of the breaks I have experienced. They have molded me into the person I am….cracks and all. Funny about the video you mentioned as I thought of the ritual of repairing items with gold that was once practiced. We have become such a disposable society that we repair little…the golden cracks to me are far more beautiful.

  3. This was truly inspiring. I could only picture you bouncing back from any challenging events life may bring your way. I love how you are using affirmation throughout this post. These affirmations are being re-enforced each time a new person reads your blog. Very powerful and engaging. Thank you for sharing!

  4. Raissa, I love how you invited me to watched you grow as I continued to read. We are the sum of our life experiences, and if anyone emerges with what appears to be no cracks or breaks they have either not lived or they have learned to weave those cracks into the fabric of their life to create an interesting picture of strength. Thank you for sharing your thought and journey with us.

  5. This hits home to probably more than you may realize. So often I have been told ” why do you care what people thank?” or you worry too much about what people think.” Like you the only words that come to mind are ” No, I am just different in my thoughts. Thanks for this enlightening post

    • Thank you Lynn. It has been surprising to me how many do identify with this piece. I really believe if we all cared a bit more about what others thought of us we would create a better world to live in.

  6. I love the strength you discuss that comes with experiencing brokenness, but not remaining in a state of being broken. There is so much to learn and grow with through the painful experiences of our lives. I am thankful when I read of the lessons learned by others from similar life experiences as those I have walked through. What can I do better and what can I do differently are key questions I ask myself when I walk through difficult life experiences, especially those that involve interpersonal relationships. These questions really help me to continue growing and to “remain human” in my compassion and responses to others. Thank you for sharing, Raissa!

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. We never stop growing and learning. There have been positives that come with every challenge in life. We just need to be observant enough to see them.

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