The world is a vast and complex place; however, though it is very vast and complex, we as humans often have limiting views, and we often listen to, watch, and read things that corroborate said views, and we call every evidence that we see that lines up with these biases, fact. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s not fact; it’s confirmation bias, and unfortunately, we all have some. Might I submit to you that, in the case of our own lives, 90% of the confirmation biases that we have are negative.
Negative Confirmation Bias
Let’s say you have this viewpoint that you are unattractive and unappealing to the opposite gender. One day, even though you’re insufferably shy, you decide to shoot your shot, but you get turned down. What will rise to the surface? That negative confirmation bias: ‘I am ugly, that’s why he/she rejected me.’
The rejection doesn’t mean the bias is true; it just seems like a confirmation because if you were to adequately test the claim by asking some others out, you’d find out that in actuality, some people do find you attractive and that rejection is just a part of life. Many people don’t see it that way, and it doesn’t matter how beautiful or wonderful they may be; they’ll go around walking under this grey cloud of low self-esteem because of a negative confirmation bias. What can one do to get rid of this?
Reprogram Your Mind
Challenge your thoughts. When these biases ring loud in your ear, tell them no. Confess to yourself that you are beautiful, intelligent, kind, and all the good stuff you can think of. At first, you will not believe what you’re saying, but if you’re committed to speaking life into yourself, before you know I,t your mind will follow suit with your mouth, and there will be a change in how you think and a change in how your life functions as a result.
Positive Evidence
Every time you attain a dub or have a personal victory, write it down. The reason is that confirmation biases hinge on apparent evidence. The poor view you may have of yourself will be severely challenged when you see all the great things you can do, and even more so when they are written down for you to see for yourself. I believe this is a subconscious way of reprogramming your mind to believe that you aren’t useless.
Feedback
There will always be that one person out there who is your biggest fan, and I’m very sure you have quite a few of them.
When you do something good, actively seek out positive feedback to encourage you and to embolden you to further challenge those negative voices in your head. External voices just might do the trick.
This is why I suggested you even use your own voice. But, back onto this topic, never underestimate the power of positive feedback and positive words. They are like watering a flower, and the flower can only grow from it.
