October was too harsh. In addition to life standard chores, I spontaneously volunteered in some stray animals rescue missions. I’ve been witness to so much cruelty; a nonchalance in the best-case scenario.
It was enough to trigger the fifth layer of my rescuer pattern I would have never expected. The limiting belief goes like this, “I couldn’t save that innocent puppy when I was a kid; I need to save all animals. I owe it to them!”
You may find the details about the incident that created the belief in the first place here, should it feel worthwhile.
Appealingly, what is mind-blowing, to me, is that yielding my rescuer pattern, in general, has been more demanding than rewiring the major part of my subconscious program. The resistance has been fierce, to say the least.
I destroyed four belief levels and my innocence with them. I, respectively, replaced them by:
- Not all mortal beings are inherently good.
- Toxic inherently good people don’t deserve my investment.
- Even non-toxic inherently good people wouldn’t earn a chance unless they asked for some guidance explicitly.
- Trust is a shared responsibility in relationships. Fantasizing about the potential does not make it a reality. If one mistake destroys trust, then there has never been any built reserve in the first place. Investing and being consistent with your deposits doesn’t guarantee that the other person pays attention and considers it.
Working on the firth layer related to animals was no exception in terms of how challenging it has been — probably more!
There were days I couldn’t focus on anything, resulting in delaying some tasks/priorities. I was overwhelmed with sadness, and my tears flowed uncontrollably like a river.
I feel this last discovered layer — hopefully — will turn out to be the most difficult one for two main reasons:
- Like the previous four ones, it is intrinsically good and noble,
- Animals are way more fragile than humans and can’t be accountable even if they want to!
Nonetheless, apart from my required inner-work, I am very satisfied with the magical and priceless connections I have been building either with my rescues, the street animals I’ve been feeding, or the genuinely kind people I’ve had the privilege to meet!
My first rescue kitten was in a miserable state when I found her. She was blind because of acute conjunctivitis and had to spend almost two weeks in the vet clinic. Eventually, we could save only one eye.
I felt devastated when the vet informed me he needed my approval to proceed with surgery. He smiled compassionately before adding, “she is grateful to you for one eye. You did your very best!”
I called her Gem and she was instantly adopted by a wondrous girl. When she sent me a video after a few days of recovery and where she was gently playing with her, I couldn’t help but have the most emotional reaction:
Enthusiastic loving words accompanied by tons of tears and much inner peace and satisfaction!
The second and third are kitty brothers. For the quick story, I was in their neighborhood because I decided to rescue a kitten who spent four days stuck at the top of an electricity pole.
The babies were so sick they had to take five medicines for almost two weeks. Naturally, I couldn’t leave my place. According to the vet, they are two thin for their age (two months and a half, in all likelihood).
The last rescue was almost an adult cat aged between 10 months and a year. He, fortunately, found a loving parent by the end of the month!
It has been a struggle specifically for this one given that I had to leave him in front of my small apartment door in a warmed basin while my heart was breaking.
What made the situation even worse is that I have a neighbor whom I can only call a monster in a human shape.
I was constantly checking in on him and rarely leaving my place because I could expect anything coming from her.
Appealingly, my neighbor who is next to me suffers from a fur allergy and needs to periodically take medication. Still, she never told me about it until I noticed it and asked the question explicitly.
Her answer spoke volumes about who she is, “indeed, I developed it a few years ago and that’s why I didn’t adopt him! I wouldn’t hesitate a second otherwise!”
