I want to share with the readers my most immaturities and what unnecessary suffering I endured from it and to reveal how this immaturity elevated me. It is my belief that this experience and its lessons are worthy of your consideration so that you may not fall into the same trap I fell into.
I publish a lot. A key measure of success for me was the number of views and likes a post gets. The more views and Likes I received, the more I felt propelled to write. I wanted to feed my stomach with more views and likes. The more I wrote, the more I stuffed my stomach with what I desired. A decrease in the number of views and likes hurt me and felt hungrier for more.
One failure that hurt me was publishing a post that attracted very little attention. The shock was affecting and I felt down because I expected that particular post would receive much greater attention. I even decided to stop publishing.
This shocking experience also served as the awakening call. Later, I realized what I was doing wrong. I focused on my desires and not on higher needs.
The problem with Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs is in its layering. I need my short-term needs met first before considering the higher and nobler needs. I mean the soul needs. These are the permanent needs and not cycling desires for more food to eat.
To be hungry for food and fill your stomach with food I like is desire. It led me astray from realizing that other parts of my body- my soul and mind- are also hungry for different food.
The human body has different needs at the same time. The food for my body is not the same food for my soul and mind. Filling my stomach does not fill my soul and mind. I visualized myself feeding my stomach with views and likes but starving my soul. I saw my stomach getting bigger and my soul and mind getting smaller. I even sketched myself as a body of an elephant with a bird’s small brain.
That image was my disruptor. I realized the need to sort out my priorities. My introspect helped me control my limiting desires.
Do I want to produce food that is of benefit to no one but me? I can publish many more posts, get more views, and like. What happens if my food of posts is of no value but feeding my own stomach? Am I limited to pursuing instant desires and be their slaves?
These self-awakening questions made me realize that for my life to have value I need to change my intentions. I write because I want to send messages that help people improve and feed their souls. I may succeed and may not. In both cases, I learn something new.
What do I learn when I get more views and likes? I learned nothing except to fill the “stomach” of my desires with trivial and junk desires. I established my own pyramid of needs. The needs for my soul and mind are not the needs of my stomach.
I want to do acts of value and not acts that fulfill desires and fill my own space and nobody else.
A new I was born.