Not sure about you, but over the past few weeks, a lot of change has been going on. Between the weather, socio-political change, and just life in general. Personally, there have been career changes, facing one of my demons, and getting re-motivated to be more organised again. The last few years have taken their toll, but I feel I’m back on track. How did this happen?
I took stock of how poorly I was looking after myself. A few of my deep-seated sabotages were back in charge and showing up big time. Workaholism, to the point of burnout, resentment, and overwhelm, took its toll. Thank goodness really!!
Our sabotages are there for a good reason. Originally, they were designed to protect us from harm. In my case, growing up was like most others with significant drama and trauma. My experiences were the perfect breeding ground for an insatiable drive, workaholism, and imperfections, not to mention a super critique of quantum dimensions.
The final sabotage that kicked in was burnout. Basically, If I wasn’t going to consciously look after myself, my body made sure I was going to stop. Maybe you too can relate to a few of these. We can only celebrate! We have moved through them, the lessons learnt, the strengths that have grown, and above all greater self-perceptions. Self-love, compassion, respect, empathy, etc., As these grow, we are able to extend them to others too.
The burnout made sure I STOPPED, and stop, I did!! Even my computer died!! Seriously one Saturday, it went to blue screen and never recovered. A was forced to take a week off work (something unheard of) with a head cold that just wouldn’t stop!! It was good, though, the stop certainly did its job of making me sit and take stock, and this is what I worked out:
- I was giving an employer way more of myself than needed. A massive goal had been reached and so I didn’t need to work 7 days to ensure I achieved it.
- Some experiences at work were far from aligned with my values, adding to the stressors.
- Being bullied is one of my patterns resulting from not speaking up and saying no. I had to learn to say no, ask for help and feel safe enough to report the abuse to the right people. Not an easy thing when I had the belief, “Bad things happen to me because I am not….. ‘It is my responsibility to address the thing in me that is allowing it to happen.’
- I was neglecting my life purpose, and it was strangling me. The underlying fear of this was that I would show up and not make an impact. While this is possible, I found it fascinating how the weeks before my burnout, soooo many customers would either stop me mid-walk and say they wanted to chat with me. I was earning impressive tip amounts by just being me, and many repeat customers (from a year ago) were genuinely excited to see that I was still working there. I had to take stock and re-evaluate the evidence against my fear. People valued me. There was something greater in my persona shining through that I couldn’t see and so the Universe asked others to clearly say it.
The most surprising insight, is I actually enjoy not working seven days a week, disrespecting attitudes, and co-creating an unhealthy work relationship. WHY!!!!!
This timely reminder!!
It is our, and only our responsibility to look after our interests. Yes, others in the exchanges have a responsibility to contribute to the experience, but, ultimately, it is you who
- sets your boundaries,
- how you show up,
- how you interact, and how much and what you give to situations.
- Expressing your needs, and saying yes and no with integrity, not from fear or guilt.
- Being honest with yourself first, so you are honest with others.
- Your health and well-being is your responsibility. What you eat, drink, exercise, sleep, and the work/life balance dynamic.
We can not expect others to do what we are responsible for. Even though parts would love to be ‘looked after that little bit’, we would still need to allow them to do so.
Forced time out – the subconscious making sure the body survives, gave me invaluable time to reflect, contemplate and come back to the centre again.
Fortunately, I have been doing inner work of work for so long, that it didn’t take long to re-evaluate, take stock, and pivot, again!! Whoo hoo.
Using the tools, and strategies and going back over the material I share with clients, the wins flowed again.
I retook charge in areas lagging behind the eight ball—walking through the Wheel of Life activity, Self-Awareness Activity, and lots of self-care.
The benefits have been far-reaching. Saying no to the bullying, I stood my ground and gained greater respect from upper management. Saying yes to me enabled me to ask for help, start another job in a great location, re-organising my services and offers,
Reflection created lots more clarity of who and what I stand for. What is important to me and confidence to say yes to experiences that have a positive meaning to me.
I have come back more robust, more organised, and feeling stronger, empowered and back in control.
To change life’s direction, we must change our inner world. The way we see ourselves, others, and the dictates that unconsciously drive us.
We can not expect things to be different if they are not addressed, and only we can do it for ourselves. Others can wish, ask, push, probe, bribe, etc., as much as they want. Only when the individual decides what will happen in their house (mind) do things change.
Bringing the unconscious to consciousness, and as required, healing, shifting, transforming even, or releasing and letting them go. These are the steps towards creating a Life on Purpose, with meaning, and towards happiness. Taking responsibility for what is inside so that outside is the desired reflection.