We are born. We live our lives in the way we have chosen. In the end, we will wither pass away and die. Much to our own regrets, we have to live with them and take them with us to our graves. That which we regret may or may not die along with us. We shall never know if they did until it comes time for our final judgment. All of our deeds or misdeeds that helped define our lifetime will be rewound in front us like an old reel to reel movie. There will be pauses to highlight some of our low points. For those, we have hurt or the potentially catastrophic aftermath of our actions there lays the ruins we made. Our regrets may not be ones that we have to regret. Yet we do.
In just about every town there is a place where our physical remains are taken whereafter we shall return to the earth. These are the green golf courses for all those who once existed but now are dead. Row after row sitting side by side or standing alone is the great marble tombstones and headstones that the words that tell all who pass by who we were will eternally stand tall. There were regrets they had that may have led some to take away their own lives. No longer could these lives live in existence.
Much to our own regrets, YOU allowed an embryo to be mercilessly ripped out from your womb. With simple injections of lethal drugs, instruments forged of steel that were placed in the hands of butchers who misguidedly thought they were given the right perhaps by divine decree to take away a life did so without the slightest show of emotion. What lacked shape or form was still life that was created under circumstances we never will know but had a right to be born. Much to our regrets, YOU HAVE NO REGRETS! Of if you do or did it is too late for virtually any good you try to do to mean much of anything.
If only you had taken time to think or rationalize before you thrust yourself into action perhaps you would not be sitting here all alone in your favorite chair regretting even the day you born into this world. Had I (you or we) more time I could have……. We (you, I) wish there was something more than we could have done to …….. If only I (you or we) had known we could have or would have….. We regret all that is regrettable. “The hours that were yours, echo like empty rooms. The thoughts we used to share, I now keep alone. I woke last night and spoke to you, not thinking you were gone. It felt so strange to lie awake, alone. No regrets, no tears goodbye. Don’t want you back, we’d only cry, again. Say goodbye, again.” No Regrets-Tom Rush
Buried deep within our memory are those truths we must never forget. “And honey, I miss you and I’m bein’ good. And I’d love to be with you if only I could.” Honey-Bobby Goldsboro. “Now that I’ve taken my life, hiding the dampenings. Scouring the stubborn stains erasing them carefully. Breaking the dreams of life and interring them pray fully. My telephone never stops ringing now that I’ve taken my life. Now that I’ve taken my life, pleading reality. Mumbling moralities, and losing the child I was. Smiling my youth to the wall and recalling how wild I was.” Now That I’ve Taken My Life-Tom Paxton. “Oh, baby it’s a wild world. It’s hard to get by just upon a smile. Oh, baby, it’s a wild world. I’ll always remember you like a child, girl. You know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do. And it’s breaking my heart in two. ‘Cause I never want to see you, sad girl. Don’t be a bad girl. But if you want to leave take good care. Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there. But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware. Beware” Wild World-Cat Stevens.
As for me the regrets that I feel from the mistakes I made take me prisoner and lock me up inside. What can I say to those I never knew suffered because of me. It is much too late to try to turn around again. I am the ghost of me I see in the mirror. If only there was a way for me to help me help you heal. My suffering will never be small. My insatiable thirst for things that would ultimately lead me astray sent you scrambling away never to return. The words you hated to hear slithered off my tongue with alarming regularity. Once what was said was said it can never be taken back. Lost are the feelings you once felt for me and I for you. No wild white horses will be pulling my chariot tonight.
Much to our own regret, there is no lack of depth for death. It knows no limits as it has no boundaries or borders that can hold it down. Our transparency was so fashionably obvious but regrettably, we did not care. That was until one of us or something inside of us died. Only now in this advanced hour of our lives do we stop to realize we were all so untrue to ourselves. We became cloaked inside of the pretend reality that we created. When we have died nothing at all will have remained. An unheeded call added arrogance to our ignorance. Much to our own regret, we must now own up to that as we open the door to allow for our closure.
Who among us can offer up a credible defense? We plucked excuses from the thin air and stuffed these “treasures” into our pockets until the time came for us to need them. Now we know we need them but they cannot do for us what we thought they could. The knowledge that these phrases had no air under them was something under no pretenses did we dare to admit to. We drove through the streets of our time with reckless abandon. Yes, we were firey furnaces with no flame. All that remains from the names, places, things are the ashes of regret.
In the quiet of the dead of night, we hear the shrieks from the roars of deafening silence. Much not to our own regrets we are no longer encompassed in ecstasy. We regret our pathetic panderings for our reconstruction. It’s all over now except for the end.