My mother passed away a few days back. I felt devastated, rocked, and out of balance. I was drifting into sadness and then suddenly the idea of this post emerged.
It was my realization that my mother was the main source of my happiness. I suddenly asked myself “if I am in a state of extreme unhappiness would this make my mother happy”?
My big no answer reminded me of what real life is.
It is not to seek self-happiness because the more we seek it the more it gets far away. My mother was happy to see her children happy. The happier they got, the more satisfied my mother became.
The more obstacles she faced the greater her determination grew so that she would keep us happily growing. Obstacles became a greater source of happiness for her children.
This explains why mothers have resilience because they have a continuing purpose in life to keep their siblings happily growing. They endure setbacks because they need their strengths. Their antifragility stems from serving others and not self.
The more mothers make their children happier the more resilience they get because they have a grand purpose in life that is far greater than a self-centered purpose.
Leadership is analogous to devoted motherhood. The more leaders seek leadership for self the more distant leadership becomes. A great leader should have the attributes of a great mother by serving others and not self.
It is through serving others that leaders become more resilient and antifragile. They have a purpose to make others grow. The more successful they make others grow the more endurance they shall gain to meet emerging challenges.
While writing this post Namita Sinha commented on one of my posts, Part of her comments read Meaningful inclusion is not indifference or coldness. It doesn’t mean you don’t love personal life or family vs. work…;—it means you love all of your life’s shades like your children…, without discrimination”
Indeed, this is what mothers do it means you love all of your life’s shades like your children…,
Mothers do. Leaders should do the same.
I dedicate this post to my mother who taught me by example that even a big loss such as her death should be my greatest source for being resilient. It is what makes me less saddened because I know this shall make her happy.
Sadness gives birth to happiness. What a great mother you were, MOM. What stays after death is what you do for others and not for self.
This was a heart moving post. I’m sure your Mother is smiling down on you now. You give of yourself and recieve happiness in return. Sounds like a great formula. I wish when I worked I had leaders like you. I’m retired now but your never to old to learn something new. Thanks for sharing.
This is a heart-touching comment, Eva Marie. If my mother is smiling on me then I am the happiest person on earth.
Yes, learning is an endless journey.
My dearest Professor .. what can I say or do?
“Weep with those who weep” – that is all that comes to me.
MOM .. that’s “WOW” – upside down and backwards ;~)
Please allow me to express my appreciation to your Mom for how she sowed into your life.
The seeds that sometimes only Mothers see.
She must have been a remarkable and strong woman. Much loved. Honored.
Through writing .. I have come to now you and highly regard you. In some tiny way that means I know your Mom.
In eternity .. I hope our paths will cross
One day there will be no more tears ..
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.
I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”
Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. – Revelation 21
Dear friend and spiritual mntor, Fay
Your words and prayers touched my heart. I am moved by your comment and feel relieved of my pain.
You know my mother well even without you having met with her in person.
I consider your words as her obituary for they reflect what I would have liked to say.
I am in deep gratitude for you
Stay safe my friend.
Brother Ali
I believe your mpther would be very proud of how you have turned the pain of your loss first into personal reflection, learning and growth for yourself and then for how you have generalized it to a lesson for us all.
“Resilience . . . make others grow . . . a grand purpose in life that is far greater than a self-centered purpose.”
“love all of your life’s shades like your children…,”
Thank you
Alan
BrotherAlan,
You are a brother and therefore you feel what I feel.
Thank you for highlighting the key points of the post.
With love to you