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Morning Sessions: I Am Perennial

And, as I reflect, I suppose there was grieving for what was lost and what I had hoped.

I feel like I fell off the wagon – a hard fall – one that’s tough to get back up from without some help. And it is hard not to beat myself up about it. I used to exercise regularly. It was my release, and I was a fanatic about it. And then something happened.

There was a shift.

I can’t pinpoint anything other than a body that began to change and a spirit that felt – no feels – stuck. Then again, the past few years have been filled with ups and downs. And change. There was a pandemic, losing my job, questioning my purpose, finding my way, making a career change, hybrid work, business travel, making new inroads, stepping outside of my comfort zone, and all the hiccups and hurdles in between.

And there is menopause. The life shift continues to challenge me. Admittedly, something I hadn’t prepared for. But I’m learning how to navigate it.

And, as I reflect, I suppose there was grieving for what was lost and what I had hoped. For the body I knew and the spirit that once thrived. For the trajectory I thought I wanted. For the friends, I thought I had made. It’s funny to piece it together and make sense of things after all this time.

But, I suppose writing my heart out consistently for almost a year has brought me here – to this place of reflection. In doing so, I’ve been able to wade through the current as it forces me to stop and take stock.

I haven’t always liked what I’ve found, and that’s been hard. Yet, through it all, I’ve continued to make inroads, I suppose—and piece together the ever-changing puzzle of my life. The picture I saw a month or a year ago continues to morph. And along with it, I continue to explore who I am.

Perennial.

Year after year, I suppose I bloom and rest.

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Laura Mikolaitis
Laura Mikolaitishttps://bellasolwrites.blogspot.com/
Laura credits her writing, which laid dormant for years, to her late mom, who always believed in her. Writing unabashedly from the heart and inspired by millions of moments, three tenets of evergreen advice that her mom always shared with her are her guiding principles. Whether it is poetry, fiction, or a personal essay, her love for the written word feeds her mind, body, and spirit. Laura’s creativity also comes to life in her passion for photography. Her ongoing love affair with the moon, her joy for family and friends, her connection to nature, and being a loving canine mom often become some of her best subjects. Laura has held many roles throughout her professional career, including Brand Manager, Project Manager, and Director of Global Business Development and Sales Operations. In addition, she has a background in consumer-packaged goods, manufacturing, and textiles. Laura currently works in biotechnology for Berkshire Corporation as their Product Marketing Manager. She holds a Master of Science degree in Communications and Information Management from Bay Path University and a Bachelor of Arts in Communications from SUNY Oswego. Originally from Northern NY, Laura resides with her husband and canine child in a small town in Massachusetts that captured her heart years ago.

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