Ahem! Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?
This routine court swearing-in was directed at DEA Special Agent Danny Pitocco as I looked at the judge and glanced at the jury as I responded in a solemn and strong affirmative voice, “I do!” I then slowly dropped my right arm and I sat down on the witness chair adjacent to the judge and court clerk. I adjusted the microphone in front of me like a professional entertainer.
I was testifying in an asset seizure case involving several gold bars.
The DEA investigation established that these gold bars were the ill-gotten gains from an Israeli organized crime group that dealt in the distribution of large quantities of Rohypnol among the assortment of other illicit substances.
Rohypnol is a potent sedative commonly known as “the date rape drug” where the victim unknowingly is slipped the drug in a drink and wakes up naked the next day with a foggy or no memory of being sexually assaulted by one or more suspects. Disgusting indeed when evil knows no bounds.
I will not go into further details of the case nor discuss the investigative resources that resulted in this seizure folks because it could potentially compromise clandestine investigative techniques and procedures still used today. Nuff said about secret squirrel stuff.
I always looked forward to being cross-examined by the defense council simply because it gave me a chance to educate the jury. I also enjoy having a captive audience for some strange reason.
Note: Through my training and expert testimony experience, I learned to always look individually at each juror. I also learned to respond in a professional and polite manner with a collective calm voice and demeanor no matter how much the defense attorney would attempt (in vain) to provoke me into an emotional or angry outburst response. I also knew that the defense attorney would ultimately open a door in his questioning that would seal the deal with the jurors with my testimony.
The truth will always set you free with a wee bit of humor for spice folks.
The very confident and somewhat arrogant and definitely boorish defense attorney pontificated in a Shakespearian dramatic voice this question to me:
“Isn’t it true Special Agent Pitocco that your moniker as a previously employed police officer was Mad Dog?”
I took a pregnant pause to see if the prosecutor would raise an objection to this question on the grounds of relevance to this case. No such objection was raised and I now knew that I had my chance to spring the figurative verbal trap door on this boorish barrister. Gotcha Perry Mason Moron!
I looked at the jurors with a slight smile and I replied:
“Yes sir, it was an honor being known by my fellow police officers as Mad Dog!”
The defense attorney seemed momentarily confused and simultaneously flummoxed as he glared at me in shock and amazement at my somewhat cavalier response.
He uttered, “An honor special agent Pitocco?”
I gamely replied, “Yes sir but I have to explain”.
“Object your honor!” the defense attorney shouted out as the jurors physically shook back in their chairs.
“Overruled” replied the scholarly judge who stated: “You opened the door counselor and the witness can explain”.
Internally my heart literally jumped for joy. I then used a conversational tone of voice as I addressed the jurors who appeared to lean closer to me in their respective hard wooden and not cushioned seats. I slowly began in a pedagogical voice:
“In the police culture, it is definitely a rite of passage for a rookie police officer who is no longer under the auspices of a Field Training Officer” (FTO) to be accepted by the veteran police officers who work their respective beats on the street. A “coming of age” as it were.
The rookie knows that he or she is accepted once the veteran’s christened him or her with a moniker or nickname. (Alleluia!)
In my case “Mad dog” was my label after I was observed by the veteran officers and by the field supervisors by my field performance on hot calls. Calls that involved shots fired, Officer, needing immediate assistance, unknown trouble, officer down, physical fights, vehicle pursuits, felonies in progress. Red lights and sirens all.
“Mad Dog” illustrated my aggressiveness and my dedication to assisting my fellow and sister officers as well as arresting suspects and protecting innocent victims.”
Some of the jurors smiled and one actually gave me a quick wink and a nod. The defense attorney with a blank stare and in a humble voice announced to the court:
“No further questions”.
The later verdict denied the return of the gold bars to the suspects who later entered pleas of “Nolo contendere” (Latin for no contest) on the drug charges. The US Treasury kept the gold bars.
Note: Too bad I did not work on commission as a special agent for the DEA.
Well, folks, my law enforcement career continued after I left the DEA and I later received the monikers “The Professor” and finally “Gumshoe” from two other police agencies that I worked for prior to my retirement.
In closing, always remember to love the ones who love you and really try to love the ones who don’t.
Coram Deo!
PS: I sometimes wonder if that defense attorney who worked for that drug cartel ever got paid. Possibly 30 pieces of silver would have been symbolic and appropriate in Gumshoe’s opinion.
Another great article. Awhile back I wrote an article under the by Line “The Retired Cop” which was published by this site. It was titled Nicknames and Mistaken Identity. My nick name while serving in the Marine Corps was “Stubby” due to the loss of my left index finger while growing up, It carried with me for the first three years on the Police Department. Not sure if anyone remembers the 1973 television series “Toma” which starred Tony Musante. Story of NJ Detective David Toma. Anyway I was in the elevator with a Deputy Chief and he tells me that he has finally figured out who I resembled. You look like the guy who plays Toma on the TV, From that point on “Stubby” was gone and “Toma” was born. I had the pleasure of working with other Brother Officers who had nicknames, like “Big Foot”, “Bones”, “Que Ball”, “Moose”, “Sparky” I think you get the picture. To this day even though I have long since retired I am known more by my nickname “Toma” than Tom. I have used it as part of my E-mail address.
BTW I always looked forward to testifying in Court. I got the most satisfaction when the Prosecutor would ask me a follow up question after the defense attorney finished with me. There would usually be an objection on the part of the defense attorney and the Judge would usually come back with “Well you opened the door Counselor so the officer can answer the question”.
Thanks again Gumshoe.
Soon to be Happy Birthday and Semper FI
Toma
Thanks Tom for your comment & great story about transitioning from “Stubby” to “Toma”. Not a bad moniker to have. I guess all of us veteran cops had no problems testifying in court and giving the defense attorneys headaches.
Also I send you an early Jarhead birthday greeting prior to the 10th of November—Uraaah!
I’m surprised the prosecutor did not object………unless, perhaps, he/she had seen you in action prior to this : ). No doubt the defense attorney wanted you off the stand as quickly as possible after this exchange! Humorous and interesting as always bro (published author) Danny! I just received 4 copies of ‘Gumshoe’ via Amazon – pretty cool!
Why thanks my dear brother. I worked with the AUSA (Assistant US Attorney) prior to the case. I still wished that I worked on commission for those gold bars forfeiture.
Thanks for supporting my first book with book two in the works!
Why thanks Ken. We are simpatico when it comes to court appearances. I truly miss it except for finding parking.
I can relate to that. I, unlike most people, was not fazed by being called into a court room situation. I became very comfortable on a witness stand having been there 157 times. I spent more time in courtrooms than most lawyers do. Your playing to a jury and using the cross examining lawyer to trip himself up is genius.