Modesty is often confused with poverty of means and spirit, it is the attitude that allows us to look at the world from a different point of view: that of those who allow themselves to be surprised.
It is the most elusive of qualities. Because if you really have it, you don’t know. And if you say you are modest, it already means that you are not. Then when we use the adjective to define something else other than us – “a modest person”, “a modest house” – we are only taking away one problem: we do not have in mind the declination of a virtue opposite to haughtiness, but a person not really bright in the first example, or a poor house in the second.
When it comes to modesty, the first feeling you have is negative! Because sometimes those who are modest underestimate themselves and therefore do not have a fair idea of themselves in the negative, or because, very often, those who show themselves modest, wear false falsehood, and therefore, in the same way as a proud one, tries to deceive others by negatively distorting his abilities.
In reality, modesty has never been a goal in the evolution of human beings!
But, at this point, what do we really need modesty when, by not cultivating it, we can make it more successful? Simple: because those who boast, those who are more confident than their abilities allow, emerge by themselves, those who cultivate modesty emerge together with others, therefore share with others their luck and their life experience (and how the world is going nowadays, there is more and more need).
When we are not humble, when therefore we do not cultivate modesty, we tend to diminish the contribution of others (and there are never goals achieved alone). When we are falsely modest, we overestimate others and diminish ourselves. Both cases are wrong both because everyone (we or the others) get a wrong idea of our abilities (which will disadvantage us in the future) and because, simply, it is not true.
Modesty is only “not bragging about one’s results”, in a nutshell, this value derives from humility, that is, “recognizing one’s limits”. And recognizing your limits simply means living in real life. Those who are not modest, those who boast, in addition to being unpleasant, do not live in reality, because they either overestimate their abilities (and therefore do not have a right idea of themselves) or intentionally amplify them (thus giving others a distorted idea of self).
If we could consider things with a little attention, we would discover that the most “convenient” inner virtue is precisely the ability to be modest: it is rewarding, full of life, it brings with it positivity, optimism.
It has to do with an open attitude towards the rest of the world: when we think, observe, feel “modestly” what matters is the experience that is generated and that we face with confidence. The non-modest, on the contrary, measures experiences according to a self-referential logic: his only metric is confrontation and, the anxiety of being/becoming the best empties the pleasure of learning, shakes the eye, abate curiosity.
The true modest are not at all resigned or renounced: they are those of us who have understood how to be in the world without obsessions and personal insecurities get in the way. They are actually the strongest and most aware.