Sometimes it helps to have another perspective to assist us in moving forward when we feel frustrated and stuck. Through someone else looking at our situation from a different angle we can find hidden truths that can reveal to us something needing to be changed.

My mentee, Kathy*, wants to grow and expand her online presence, and develop a sales funnel that brings people into working with her. With information overload and feeling overwhelmed with all the aspects and layers of online promoting, she was looking for some assistance to help navigate the landmines.

Kathy has an extensive and impressive background as a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Coach. Her business specialty is working with people who have a fear of speaking, which holds them back. She helps them connect with their inner strength so they can go into any speaking situation with confidence, clarity, and authenticity. She has all the necessary components: education, credibility, programs; but she is struggling with bringing it all together to take her business to the next level.

Kathy: I’m coming away from the mentoring session with deeper self-awareness. I initially signed up for the session to explore how to design online coaching programs that will guide professionals to dissolve the fear of speaking and connect with an inner strength. In other words, as my tag line says…Find Your Voice, Change Your Life.

My dream is to take my 35 years of experiences as a psychologist/coach, Training Director of Speaking Circles International, and Founder of Essential Speaking to the online domain. But I have questions about how to transfer my offerings over, what the funnel should be, and how much to charge.

The inquiry began with looking at the obstacles around me. I identified the technological challenges, and the finding of the right guides, and identifying target markets. I do have a niche which is about overcoming speaking anxiety.

Eileen: We began the session looking at her most current struggles, which includes:

  • Technological challenges for website development, online calendar scheduling and social media platforms
  • Who works well with her, identifying her target market that will not include everyone
  • Her dilemma in knowing who to choose in helping her achieve her goals of business growth
  • Who am I attracted to?
  • Who is going to be my helper(s)?
  • Who do I choose to be my guides, teachers, mentors, and coaches?
  • How do I get good help in virtual assistance?

At the beginning of the session Kathy shared her desire to work with men and women. This can cover the over 8 billion people on the planet. So, we further discussed how she could narrow this down to a more specific target market. Ultimately, she realized clients fall into the categories of entrepreneur, teacher and professionals. As we moved into the needs of those she currently helps and how she can expand her reach, the session took an unexpected turn.

It became clear that part of her struggles is from within her own thinking and belief around money and receiving.

Kathy: The inquiry then focused on the inner obstacles and that is where I had the amazing discovery that my own sense of worth and value were playing a part. When I explored what I might charge, I realized that I love what I do and I can easily give it away. But to charge for it, and charge a lot, is hard. My question then becomes one of how much my voice is valued and how much it is worth. I have a new understanding of how I may be creating my own blocks to the success I desire.

This relates to the work I do because I don’t see the solution to speaking anxiety as a matter of creating better speeches and delivering a better performance. I believe that the fear of speaking in front of others is more about the fear of being yourself. And when you don’t value yourself, you then don’t want to stand up in front of others.

Eileen: I asked Kathy, “if you were to look at your clients and where they are blocked, what is similar to you in your own blocks?” She stopped to reflect and took herself through a process of discovery. Kathy told herself she is authentic, and driven; then kept searching for what was missing. Her ah, ha moment occurred when deep emotions came to the surface supporting my question, showing both of us where her block was residing.

When I realized it was important for Kathy to clear this inner blockage, we discussed how it was reflective in what she sees in her clients. Through understanding how what she could easily do for others is hard for herself, Kathy can now feel more confident in making the necessary choices for her online presence and growth.

Kathy realized she has a treasure chest and just needs to open it!

Kathy: Moving forward now, I know that these questions of self-worth, which underlie the fear of public speaking, are also contributing to how I may be impeding my efforts to grow my business. I am no longer afraid of public speaking because I do value who I am and what I have to say. But I may not value myself, my voice, enough to charge others and have them pay me for it.

When we are wanting to move out of our comfort zone and step into unknown territory, it can be scary, unnerving and overwhelming. Stepping back and looking at why decision-making is difficult for us can shed light on a deeper cause for our struggles. Once we resolve these challenges, our ability to find the right assistance, make definitive choices and create the best system for our growth will be grounded in a foundation of strength, confidence and empowerment.

Kathy now has the knowledge needed to take the next steps in creating an amazing system for her new level of growth. She will be able to recognize who will fit best with her programs, who will resonate with her for developing her online funnel and how she can price and monetize her offerings.

This mentoring session has been a great moment of truth that will forever change the course of direction for Kathy and her ability to reach her highest potential.

*Name changed for privacy

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Chris Pehura

A good mentor is a good way to see your blind spots. The dangers with mentors is that some want to make you into their own image. This means you will be picking up habits and approaches that aren’t just you; they will be seen as very insincere and fake.

Melinda Fouts, Ph.D. International Executive Coach
Melinda Fouts, Ph.D. International Executive Coach

Eileen, a moving experience that will touch those who read your journey with Kathy.

Len Bernat

Eileen – What a wonderful experience for both Kathy and you. You were able to quickly make a personal connection with Kathy that allowed her to be open and honest about things that were holding her back but she had not been willing to face. Your article proves that a good mentor/mentee relationship starts with building trust and respect for each other. Thanks for sharing your experience. Please keep us posted on how Kathy is doing. Well done, my friend.

Bharat Mathur

Three Cheers, Eileen, for your excellent Mentorship! Building bridges where none existed before is one of the foremost requirements to be a valuable Mentor. You have shown that in a superlative form. Kudos!

As for Kathy, Congratulations for landing such an immaculate Mentor that understands your challenges at an even keel.

A fine example of great TEAM spirit (TEAM: Together Everybody Achieves More)

Thank You!

Larry Tyler
Larry Tyler

Great article Eileen. What success I may have in life is a direct result of some good mentors early in life.