Life has a way of presenting small moments that ripple through the years, moments we may not fully understand until much later. Have you ever experienced something so subtle, that you didn’t realize its impact until it resurfaced, reshaping your understanding?
These moments, though quiet at the time, can be powerful catalysts for change, and often, they lie dormant until we’re ready to recognize the lessons they hold.
As we navigate through life, we experience three significant learning phases:
The Imprint Period (Birth to 7 Years Old): This is the time when we absorb everything around us like sponges, forming ideas based on the behaviors and interactions we observe. For example, if you grow up in a family that values kindness, you’re likely to believe in the importance of being kind, without really questioning it.
The Modeling Period (7 to 14 Years Old): During this stage, we begin to mimic the behaviors and beliefs of people we admire, such as parents, teachers, or older siblings. If your older brother loves sports, you might adopt the same passion, even if it wasn’t your natural inclination.
The Socialization Period (14 to 21 Years Old): Here, you start to carve out your identity. You begin developing your own ideas and values based on your interactions with society and your peers. You might realize, for instance, that you prefer music to sports because that’s what your circle of friends is into.
It’s during these critical periods that we form not just our values but also our perspectives on mental health. This is also where we begin to encounter societal stigmas surrounding mental health, which can deeply influence how we view not only our emotional well-being but also the idea of seeking help.
Many of the opinions and beliefs we hold aren’t necessarily our own—they’re borrowed from the environment around us. The first step towards real growth is stepping back and questioning the origins of these beliefs.
Understanding Mental Health Stigma
Before we dive deeper, let’s clarify what stigma is and how it relates to mental health. Stigma refers to a set of negative and unfair beliefs that society holds about something—in this case, mental health. The stigma surrounding mental health manifests in many damaging ways:
- Discrimination: People may face unequal treatment due to their mental illness, ranging from subtle to overt actions.
- Self-Stigma: Individuals may internalize negative attitudes about their own condition, leading to shame and self-doubt.
- Fear of Treatment: Stigma can prevent people from seeking help due to the fear of being judged.
- Bullying and Harassment: Stigma can lead to bullying, violence, and isolation.
- Beliefs About Capability: Individuals might believe they are incapable of overcoming challenges because of their mental illness.
- Structural Stigma: This refers to policies and systems, such as inadequate health insurance coverage, that limit opportunities for those struggling with mental illness.
- Social Isolation: Stigma often pushes people into isolation, leading to issues like poverty and unemployment.
The Night a Bag of Shredded Cabbage Changed My Life
Let me introduce myself. My name is Jason Jurado, and I run One Path, where I help people navigate their mental health journeys. I assist others in clearing away the emotional baggage that holds them back from fulfilling their life’s purpose. But on the night of this story, I was just a 7-year-old boy, about to witness my first encounter with mental illness—and it was far from what I expected.
I grew up with my older brother and my mother, who raised us on her own after my parents divorced when I was just two. My father was in the picture, but as was common in those days, we spent most of our time with Mom. She worked hard to provide for us, and though we were rambunctious, she kept it all together with quiet strength.
But there was more going on beneath the surface. Looking back, I realize she was what I call a “silent sufferer.” She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders without asking for help, a mindset that was typical for her generation—especially in small-town Tracy, California, during the 1970s. Mental health care wasn’t something people discussed, much less sought out. In our world, people just “dealt with it.”
One evening, my mom came home from work with bags of groceries, struggling to carry them inside as my brother and I, being kids, didn’t offer any help. As she walked into the house, one of the bags broke, and groceries spilled across the living room floor. We found it funny, and my brother made some offhand comment, probably meant to be snarky. Among the fallen items was a small bag of shredded cabbage.
Already teetering on the edge, my mom quietly picked up the cabbage and “bonked” my brother on the head. She said something in her usual understated way, telling him to behave. My brother and I erupted in laughter—Mom had never been one to discipline us physically, so this was absurd to us.
But then everything shifted.
She had reached her limit. The laughter from us, the endless struggle, the weight of her life—it all crashed down on her. In that moment, she had what I would later come to understand was a mental breakdown.
I can still see the look on her face as emotions flooded over her. She rushed out the door, leaving it wide open, jumped into her car, and sped off. My brother and I stood frozen, unsure of what to do. We eventually gathered ourselves, put the groceries away, and sat in silence, waiting.
After what felt like an eternity, she came back. She didn’t say a word. She walked straight to her bedroom, leaving my brother and me to wonder what had just happened.
In that instant, my world changed. Watching my mother, the woman who had always seemed so strong and composed, break down like that showed me the cracks in her armor. But more importantly, it taught me that the stigma surrounding mental health could be devastating, especially when it prevents people from seeking the help they desperately need.
A Call to Action
That moment, with my mom and the bag of cabbage, made me realize that no one should suffer in silence. It fueled my commitment to breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health so others can access the support they need without fear or shame. We must have these conversations with our loved ones, encouraging openness and support.
Let’s ensure that no one reaches the point my mother did—feeling like running away was her only option.
