The latest craze in the formal and social media is the issue of males sexually abusing females. Now, before a bunch of people jump on me for calling the matter a “craze” let me be clear that I do not subscribe to women being harassed in any venue. Continuing too much focus on the “Me Too” is likely to result in the issue becoming “old news and boring” and going the way of the hula hoop and save the whales. But, perhaps we should refocus on this emotionally charged issue and look at some hard facts.[su_spacer]
First, this is nothing new. It has been going on since Ogg drug some female into his cave. It has continued in all societies and cultures with females filling the role of growing and nurturing. They grew crops, foraged for berries and roots, tended children and domestic livestock, made meals, cleaned the abode and were subservient. Men have made war on other tribes, captured slaves, hunted, and proudly displayed their manly successes as shown by the number of scalps, shrunken heads, or pickled ears, and bear claws they could accumulate.[su_spacer]
So, fast forward to today’s world where women have more options than even 50 years ago. It is also not fashionable for men to flaunt their accumulation of shrunken heads and scalps. Thus, things have changed. But, have they really? Perhaps we have just become 
a bit more subtle as we abuse each other. Women seldom get drug around by their hair, but they do get discriminated against in the workplace, they do endure sexual advances and even retribution if they don’t comply with some male’s demands. However, let us be clear about degrees here. A catcall and whistle from a construction site are not the same as physical or emotional abuse in the workplace, or at home. Complimenting an employee on a new hairdo doesn’t translate to sexual abuse.[su_spacer]
a bit more subtle as we abuse each other. Women seldom get drug around by their hair, but they do get discriminated against in the workplace, they do endure sexual advances and even retribution if they don’t comply with some male’s demands. However, let us be clear about degrees here. A catcall and whistle from a construction site are not the same as physical or emotional abuse in the workplace, or at home. Complimenting an employee on a new hairdo doesn’t translate to sexual abuse.[su_spacer]Recent studies have shown that between 20% and 40% of females have endured some sexual abuse. My opinion is the true figure is probably closer to 100% than to 20%. That, however, does not translate to all or most males being sexual predators.
Recent studies have shown that between 20% and 40% of females have endured some sexual abuse. My opinion is the true figure is probably closer to 100% than to 20%. That, however, does not translate to all or most males being sexual predators. I’ve known hundreds of men and very few of them have been sexual predators. Perhaps a dozen that I knew of (one worked for me and I fired him). Use any reasonable multiple of that dozen for the ones that did such things without my being aware of it and it is still a relatively small percent. My point is, don’t paint all males with the same broad brush.
We need to step back here and look at the core reasons for this continued behavior in what should be a more refined culture. I would suggest to you that we create and support such action while at the same time decrying it.
A few examples:
Our female children are given dolls to play with, are told to be pretty and sweet, and as they become teens are constantly beseeched by fashion, makeup, and hairstyle ads. They have pajama parties and Aunt Mildred and Gram constantly tell them how pretty they are. The underlying message of all this is for them to be pretty, thin, sweet, feminine, and yes, weak. Their idols are often female entertainers romping around a stage in their underwear and fashion models. As they reach their teen years they are allowed, or encouraged to attend concerts where they can jump around screaming like dim-wits and even throw pieces of their underwear on the stage of the latest hot entertainer.[su_spacer]
The young males are given GI Joe and Superman action figures, play cowboys and Indians, or war games. Their idols are pro-sports figures and Rambo “he-man types”. When was the last time your young son or grandson had a sleepover wearing his prettiest pajamas and the boys sat around painting each other’s nails pink and braiding their hair? What, never you say? Hmmm.[su_spacer]
Then our esteemed elected official pass laws allowing males to decide they feel like a female today, slop on some makeup, don a dress and hang out in the girl’s bathrooms and locker rooms. Think there is a message here?[su_spacer]
Then they pass laws creating safe cities where illegals can be safe while being illegal. So, is it okay to be a little illegal, just don’t commit a felony? Sure male predator, you can pat an employee on her bum, just don’t rape her in the lobby.[su_spacer]
My point in all this is that while we denounce the continued male predator issue, we participate in fostering it in the next generation. We accept laws saying that a little bit improper, or even illegal is okay. This, it seems to me, is a classic case of treating a broken bone with a band-aid. Lets cut the “craze” and get down to the core causes. It isn’t going to go away by posting something on a hash or blog. We are all aware of the problem, so enough. The matter will only get better when we teach kids that females have the same rights as males and bigger biceps is not a license to take advantage of others. Sadly, like any change in a culture, it will take a long time to get it right.
Its been awhile Vincent since I responded to any of the stories of whom the authors I am familiar with. Your story was true in many ways, in that nothing has really changed regarding this well known issue. I do think that women are more perceptive and don’t remain totally silent like before. I do think that women can and are just as abusive in many ways themselves, but the bottom line is that the self worth has to come from within and the courage to just do what is right for the right reasons and not for what they can get out of it, is most important. I remember in the in the police academy being told that I didn’t look tough enough to get the job done. Well, after 20 years in Law Enforcement I was able to show that I did not have to grow hair on my chest, or develop 6″ biceps to get the job done.
Lynn, good to see you back. You are quite right that women can also be abusive, but it wouldn’t sound good coming from me. I also agree that often times women are more perceptive and can often defuse a situation where a man is more likely to become a bull in a china shop. Your point about self-worth is key to having respect for others.