Many Grandparents ask “Why”

So often Grandparents are left out of the lives of their grandchildren and often for the slightest reason, I realize that there are grandparents out there (hopefully few) whom their children have a good reason for keeping them away, but it better be a dam good one.  Even if you don’t want them in your life, at least communicate if possible.  Again, there may be a few who fall into, “No”, can’t do that, and I get it.

Grandparents are the Wisdom, which becomes a teacher to their grandchildren in many ways. But through trial and error in their own lives, raising their own children and learning from the mistakes.

By the time we become grandparents, so much has changed in the world of baby comfort.  Better car seats, (as when I had my daughter back in 74, there was no law that you had to have car seats, I owned a 72 VW Bug, which I named Susie, and my own father referred to Susie as a pregnant roller-skate.  My daughter would hold onto the little handle and sometimes pretend she was driving, I look back and think how crazy was I.  Thank God we survived,

The babies clothe warmers!  We warmed our own washcloths with warm water and soap!  Similac and rice cereal; you warmed the milk, poured in the cereal and shook the bottle, tested the nipple and “Viol “a”!!  Or how about the cloth diapers, you rinsed them out and washed them or left them for the delivery of the replacements to arrive.  No such thing as Pampers, or Huggies.  With all that being said, let’s fast-forward to playing outside when now its “play dates”.

My daughter whom I love very much had all the opportunities that I did not have, Through a personal issue I tried to resolve, where it was not quite quick enough, I was left with being at fault and through the years from graduating from high school, entering and graduating from college, then entering the job world as a career, getting married, our relationship was up and down.

Finally, one day, after trying but not succeeding, her husband and her decided they no longer wanted me in their lives. And they didn’t want me to reach out to my (4) grandchildren either.  I was devastated and still to this day, whatever it was, I ask God, to mend their hearts.  I have no idea what can’t be forgiven.  It’s been 7 years this July that I have not seen or spoken to my daughter or seen my grandchildren, (their decision not mine).  Because I don’t want to be the cause of anything, I have placed this situation in God’s hand.

Every day I think of them and wonder what has been told to my grandchildren.

In conclusion, this is the point of this article; Grandparents should never be eradicated from their grandchildren, barring very serious circumstances.  Grandparents earn the right to love on their grandchildren, tell them stories, teach them of their ancestry, something we could not do with our own children for many reasons, whether it be raising them as a single mom, working two jobs, trying to give them a better life, making sure they had a good home.  Maybe we were not able to be stay at home moms, but we tried the best we could.  I only hope that whoever reads this article, and has children, that they realize the importance of having grandparents in their lives.  Grandparents are on their way to Heaven as the years pass, and to let them leave this world without the kind of respect, love, and joy they deserve is hurtful and painful.  I pray every day for this to not be the case for many in my shoes if none at all.

Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
LYNN is Retired from Law Enforcement as a Police Officer, with a background in nursing and previously a member of the Search and Rescue Team with the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, A retired member of the Orange Police Department, she became the first female SWAT member on an elite team while becoming a member of the Olympic Shooting Team during the early years on the department. A mother and a grandmother, a devout Catholic who currently resides in Houston, Texas. Her hobbies include writing, painting, and a contemplative prayer life. She is in love with her faith, but the love she carries for her two grown children and grandchildren who rest in her heart surpasses everything except her faith in God. Since retirement, Lynn has done private investigation, worked as a gang counselor with middle schools, A member of Bl. Mother Teresa’s Order called the (Lay Missionaries of Charity), she is also a pro-life advocate, often called upon to give testimony and speak to youth groups, as well as adult forums. She has published a children’s book entitled “The Children’s Garden” and is currently working on two additional children’s books. She is currently working on the major one focused on her experience in Law Enforcement entitled “Heels and a Badge”. (copyright). Her paintings and sketches, writings, can be viewed on her Pinterest boards (click on the Pinterest ICON below). Her dream is to one-day write a movie for Hallmark. Dreams do come true … See Lynn’s entire collection of thought-provoking Articles by clicking on her byline. Lynn is a contributing author to the inspiring book Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change.


  1. I don’t know the details Lynn, but it’s hard to imagine anything that would justify your daughter and her husband severing your relationship with their children. Prayerfully, if not before, your grandchildren will reach out on their own once they are old enough to do so….hopefully sooner. In the meantime I will pray that your daughter’s heart will soften…..that she will feel the conviction for what she is doing. God replaced my heart of stone with a heart of flesh as He promises in His Word……we know that He can do it for your daughter too!

  2. My heart hurts for you. The relationship between grown daughters and mothers is such a delicate one, even in the best of circumstances. I pray the threads that have worn between you two will be re-woven in a more beautiful pattern than you ever imagined.

  3. Lynn,
    I’m so sorry you are being robbed of being in your grandchildren lives. My mother has endured such a theft from my late brother’s wife and even now as great-grands are being born into that side of the family, they do not reach out. I hope a resolution comes for you and my mom. From what I see in her eyes, the pain is too great for either of you to bare. Much love…

    • Valerie, your words have touched deeply my heart as a mother and grandmother. Thank you for taking the time to even read my article. Someday, maybe sooner than later one of my grandchildren will read my article, or even my daughter and their hearts will change. God Bless you and your mom.

  4. Lynn,
    It’s all in God’s time and I believe it will happen. I wish I would have had grandparents who were in my life. It was just the 8 of us and our two uncles, one from each parent.
    Our grandmothers died when our parents were in their early twenties and our grandfathers were back east, one remarried to a woman who didn’t have children and didn’t want to leave the east coast and one who had lost his leg in a coal mine and lived with my Aunt up to his death.
    His English was broken and traveling with an old wood leg impossible in the 50’s and 60’s.
    I think of my grandmothers a lot and wonder what a difference they may have made in my life.
    Your grandchildren will always wonder also but for different reasons than mine. Your daughter needs to come back to God. Then and only then will your prayers be answered. Her heart is hardened. If victims of murderers and rapists can forgive then all of us can or we won’t enter into the kingdom. I will pray for your family.
    God Bless

    • Thank you, Larry, I know deep in my heart as a mother that my daughter will come around, hopefully before it too late. My grandchildren have always been the greatest joy in my life next to my husband and I hope too, that someday my grandchildren will know that. Bless you and yours.

  5. Lynne, Grandchildren belong in their Grandparents life and vice versa with no ifs and or buts about it. Some children will take revenge on their parents by withholding the Grandchildren from having a relationship with their Grandparents due to some quarrel or fight they had. One has nothing to do with the other. Using the Grandchildren as a weapon or bargaining chip against their parents is a disgusting thing to do. I hope your message gets through. On another note, I see that you are Pro-Life which I applaud for you for. In my religion, we hold life to be sacred meaning abortion is a crime.

    • Thank you, Joel, for your thoughtful words. I hope and pray someday things will change in her and my son-in-law’s hearts as I love them and miss them. God sees everything, even the broken heart of a grandmother and mother.



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