Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 8

I was interviewed via phone today to become part of a ‘prestigious’ network of women leaders. During the call I realised several things:

1. I have no real desire to be validated by the network. I simply want to interact with interesting people, with common values and to be intellectually stimulated.

2. When asked what I was most proud of in my career to date I found myself struggling to answer despite having been pretty successful (I think!). So I responded by saying that I was most proud of the fact that I was brave enough to step off the career ladder (career suicide be damned), face up to my post-natal depression and focus on my family when they needed me most. And then to come back, an improved version of my former self,  unashamed to share my personal challenges, with a real desire to use them in a positive way to helps others.

3. I wanted to and indeed did cut the call short as my son needed to be back at school for his play and that was more important to me than obtaining a place in the network.

EDITOR’S NOTE: SEE PART 7 AND PRIOR IN THIS AMAZING SERIES BELOW

Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 7

Despite all of this, they still wanted to offer me a place. There are costs involved so I’ve declined as the costs will eat into my family holiday budget. Not a classic set of career moves it has to be said but true to my values.

If we start with humanity as our foundation and build from there we get:

• Compassion and understanding
• Trust and courage
• Relationships and connections
• Passion and motivation
• Creativity and innovation
• Value and purpose

And then we see that:

• Problems become solvable
• Potential becomes endless
• Happiness becomes reality

Embrace your humanity, trust, and care for people, don’t fear and reject them as you will simply harm yourself.

Being truthful can hurt, avoiding the truth can be harmful. Telling the truth isn’t always easy but if it is done with the right intent and in the right way it can be liberating for all concerned. What does telling the truth mean?

1. Telling your partner the truth about how you feel even if that means you don’t love them. Everyone deserves to be loved if that’s not possible for you, set them free so that someone else can love them

2. Telling someone that the job is not for them. Everyone deserves to be given the chance to reach their true potential if that’s not possible in their current role help them find where it is

3. Telling a friend why people retreat from them. Everyone deserves to have friends they can turn to in times of need and happiness. If they are pushing them away help them understand how to pull them in or whether they are really their friends

4. Telling yourself what it is that you really want despite the judgements or preconceptions of others. Everyone deserves to be ‘whole’, authentic and happy. Lying to yourself denies you the very things that make your existence of value to you and others.

To tell the truth with compassion and the right intent is where true freedom can be found.

It might appear bizarre, morbid or arrogant to write your own Eulogy. Even so, I’ve had a go at mine, to give me something to work back from while I’m still in a position to actually do something about it. Life is a tricky programme to plan, you don’t have a ‘go-dead’ date or pre-agreed milestones.  It’s a lesson in ‘organic planning’, setting a direction, mapping a course, being brave enough to allow the programme to evolve and agile enough to respond to the unknowns. You need to test your outcomes quickly, identify and ditch the failed ones and implement the successful ones like your life depended on it –  as it may well.

In the final analysis, when the programme ends and it’s review time,  there are 6 key things I would love someone to be able to say:

1. She loved and was loved unconditionally

2. She responded to adversity with courage, resilience, and care

3. She identified and admitted her weaknesses and failings without doubt or fear of judgement

4. She took responsibility for her actions and the impact they had on others

5. Whenever she got knocked down by life, she got back up and tried again

6. She extended the hand of kindness and genuinely cared

And there is my strategic plan for the rest of my life.

Inspired by my dad

We see and hear about awful events and incomprehensible thoughts. We respond, we argue, we rant, we rave. Does it change anything? Sometimes but rarely. We need to be smarter in the face of adversity. We need to use our creativity to outwit the foe, our intellect to blindside them, our voices to render theirs useless, our collaboration to take them on and our resilience to weaken them.

At an organisational level do not do business that enables fundamentally wrong outcomes, enable and support creative and constructive solutions At a movement level, raise the volume of your message, widen your reach, increase the peer pressure, spell out the solutions – be heard, be seen, be there At an individual level, share your thoughts constructively with a clear change in mind, join a movement, lend your voice, boycott the organisations enabling the negative outcomes – use your energy to care and to drive change no matter how small

No one action will change the wrongs of the world but collectively, being smart, being creative, being heard and being kind gives us a fighting chance.

I am one of the many 1,000’s of women who stepped off the career ladder to focus on their families. But now I’ve returned, the children are getting older, my brain aches for stimulation and I am bursting with ideas – although sadly not energy whilst I move slowly through the menopause. Even so, my brain works perfectly well whether resting or working. In all honesty, my career break has enabled me to learn more than when I actually worked. I want to inspire and help move the world of organisational transformation on – to deliver truly effective change.

But make no mistake, I’m still a mum and homemaker – these roles will always be my top priority. I have no desire to return to a 60-hour working week, build an empire or be that important.  I just want to use my brain, to do what I do well, without compromising the very heart of me – my family. I don’t think that this requirement is gender specific nor only for parents. I think that this is just a basic need that we all have to make the very best of our lives.

We are in the midst of the Fourth Revolution – we are looking at how to create life on Mars, surely we can create a more meaningful way to work? I believe that we make our own reality, anyone interested in joining mine?

I’m a 46-year-old, menopausal woman who has recently returned to work after being a stay at home mum for the last few years. I’m not done with my career yet, in fact, I’m just starting and I’ve learnt a few things along the way:

1. Motherhood does not have to be the end of your career. Taking time out, becoming a mother allowed me to discover parts of me that I did not even know existed. It developed my logistical and multi-tasking skills to a whole new level and allowed me to return to my career more focused, more creative and with a much clearer purpose. You know what, I think that everyone should take time out, it’s critical to make space, to think new thoughts and discover new parts of you

2. The menopause is crap but it makes you focus on your health, create time to rest and set some much-needed boundaries

3. Grief can break you but then you get back up, truly understand your mortality and start to focus on what matters

4. Being a good parent is so hard it’s untrue, no work challenge comes close so everything becomes achievable

5. Age is liberating, you learn not give too many fxck’s (brilliant phrase Mark Manson), finally acquire some wisdom and ditch the ego.

Seize the day, it’s never too late to be who you are meant to be.

And on that note, I’ll end this collection of random observations on life – there will be many more to come I’m sure……..