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Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 5

You are enough already

I read a lot of stories and advice on social media about how to run a successful business, how to make the most of your time, how to inspire people and generally how to be something better or different to what we are today. It can feel a bit overwhelming like we should all be aiming to be someone or somewhere else. Maybe we don’t need to do any of this. Maybe being successful is just about being content with your life and yourself today.

EDITOR’S NOTE: SEE PART 4 AND PRIOR IN THIS AMAZING SERIES BELOW:

Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 4

Contentment does not always have to mean being happy either – it is about being content with the way you live your life and who you are as a person – including your strengths and weaknesses. It is that contentment that enables you to make the most of your peaks and survive your troughs.

Now that might be working towards World Peace, inventing renewable energy, running a multi-million-pound business, getting the ironing done, emptying bins, caring for people or simply walking the dog – because we are all different and that’s ok.

All of my heroes and role models have led simple, unassuming lives. Their value and gifts have been created by achieving contentment with their lives and themselves. You do not always have to do more or to be more. You can be enough just as you are. Be brave, be honest and be you.

Make sure you know who your true heroes are

I don’t believe it is possible to ‘make it’ all by yourself. Everyone needs heroes, sometimes they are your family, sometimes friends, sometimes colleagues, sometime people you meet for short periods, sometimes it may be people you don’t even know. But whoever they are, true hero’s will::

  1. Believe in you
  2. Push you forward when you want to go back
  3. Tell you the harsh truth when you want to hide from it
  4. Hold your hand when it’s too scary to go it alone
  5. Show you how to work it out for yourself and become someone else’s hero.

I’m lucky, so far I have been blessed with 8 heroes:

  1. My dad
  2. My secondary school form teacher
  3. My maths tutor
  4. My university professor
  5. My first boss (who took a chance on me)
  6. My second boss (who believed in an ‘outsider’)
  7. My spiritual mentor and guide
  8. My husband

I may have more to come or not – I don’t know but I do know you need to pass it on and make sure you can be a hero for someone else too.

Only you can save yourself

Ultimately there is only one person qualified, capable of and motivated enough to save you and that’s you.

  • Accept yourself, warts and all
  • Ditch the baggage and forgive
  • Create your reality don’t get pulled into someone else’s.

Ask for support and guidance but don’t be fooled by a system or model that will do it all for you. It won’t, it’s an illusion or a very clever marketing campaign that probably costs a lot of money. There’s only one way through – blood, sweat, and tears. Good people won’t lie to you but they will help you navigate the trough until you reach your peak. And then you may need to help them too.

Peaks and troughs are the natural flow of life, it’s how we grow and learn. Don’t be scared of them, go with the flow and surround yourself with genuine people who do the same.

It’s really not so scary when you know the drill and others are with you too.

Mortality

In order to live I believe that you have to think about death – quite a lot actually. That’s not because I think that we should all be morbid but because if we can truly grasp mortality, we will stop faffing around, focus on what’s important and make the best of the time we have. If not, we might end up talking about regrets rather than a life well lived.

Leaving a legacy

One of my dad’s final wishes just before he died, was to have a day at the seaside. So we did, we went to Mablethorpe. A few weeks later, he was carried out of his home for the last time to spend a mere 48 hours in a hospice before departing on his next adventure. When he left, he needed so little it hardly filled a small bag.

The years we spend furnishing the house, buying the clothes, having the latest gadgets, chasing the promotion, missing key moments in life to make the deadline ultimately all come down to this. Things are of no value, you don’t need them in death. What really matters is the legacy you leave behind.

My dad’s legacy was strength, courage, kindness, unconditional, never-ending love and an ability to be himself unfettered by the world around him. We didn’t have a rich life measured by material wealth but we were rich beyond imagination in the ways that mattered.

If you are going to be late home from work tonight let it be because you are building a legacy not trying to get a promotion. If you are worrying about money let it be because you need to keep your family safe and fed not because you need a larger house or a new gadget. If you are worried about what others think of you – please don’t.

And on that note, I will end this article – be brave, be kind and be you.

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Nik Davis
Nik Davishttps://nikdavis.com/
NIK DAVIS is a business transformation expert and has spent 20 years in the corporate world. Her comfort zone is order, logic and applying analytical tools to solve complex problems. She is also a keen observer of life, a writer and eccentric. Nik has recently returned to the world of work after taking a career break to spend time with her family. Upon her return, she found that her perspective had changed, as had the world she was returning to. Nik decided to carve out a new place in that world and mould some of it to fit her too. Nik sees life from quirky angles, shaped by experiences and the vast amount of knowledge we now have access to. She likes to write about her experiences and observations. To ‘tell it how it is’ and to find a more authentic way to live, whether in our professional or personal lives. Nik often talks about finding ‘The Third Way’. It’s a philosophy about life, having a personal life as well as a career, making money and being socially generous, being logical and sensitive, living by the rules of a society but not being afraid to challenge them, inspiring others to feel good but not for your own ego, giving rather than taking. Nik wants to make a difference to this world by getting people to see things differently, to try new ways of working but most of all, to re-discover our true selves and therefore reach our true potential. Nik also has two other persona’s: nikdavis which is where Nik writes about her deeply personal experiences of life. Nik runs a facebook group alongside this website to create a safe place for people to discuss the topics that are raised in her blog. Nik’s second persona is Lilly Isabella and this is where she shares her passion of fashion and design.

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