Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 3

Forget work, start living

I don’t want to go to ‘work’ anymore – here’s a definition of work: ‘activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a result’. It doesn’t sound great, does it?

EDITOR’S NOTE: SEE PART 2 AND PRIOR IN THIS AMAZING SERIES BELOW:

Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 2

I don’t want to spend the precious time I have: Compromising my values to hit a sales target, to earn a bonus to buy stuff I really don’t need anyway. Hiding in toilets and cat napping because I’m so brain dead and uninspired by the job I have to do – which I did in order to cope with a temping job I had whilst at University. I lasted 8 days and then went back to bar work, far more fun and interactive. Waking the in the middle of the night completely stressed out because I do not think I can find the answer and neither can I cope with how that affects people’s view of me. Hating Sunday nights because they lead to Monday mornings.

Instead, I am going to spend my time:

  • Focusing on what I do have not what I do not have.
  • Following what makes my ‘heart sing’, engages my mind and soul and trust that it will lead to value for others and me.
  • Freely and willingly giving what is required and fits with my values without a target or expectation of a return.

Taking each day as it comes, living it, not wishing it away and seeing where I end up. Let’s re-define work and start living a life.

Business networking – no thank you

I don’t want to do traditional business networking anymore. I cannot face delivering an ‘elevator pitch’. I don’t have one anyway. I cannot bear the thought of being defined only by what I do. And I do not have the energy to pretend to be ‘ok’ every day.

But……

I love being with people, I love laughing and making them smile. I love the intellectual engagement of learning and solving problems. I am genuinely interested in people – not their professional CV but their real story. I get a real buzz when I can help someone or inspire them to believe in themselves, to step out and be themselves.

So, no more traditional business networking for me. Let’s just talk – get to know one another and see where it takes us. Social media has given us a real opportunity to do that. Post genuine content that reflects who you are and what you care about. Stop worrying about what people will think of you – they probably won’t think anything because if it’s not genuine content or their ‘thing’ they won’t read your post anyway! Read the content posted by your connections, have conversations with them, chat via video and in person. Follow the threads, do something different and see where it takes you.

Showing up and owning up

I talk a lot about taking all of ourselves to work – to show up and own up. I think it is so important to be ourselves, to be honest, to share our vulnerabilities and connect with people, particularly in our professional lives, on a truthful and transparent basis. But what does this mean in reality?

For me it means I can offer:

  • A love of being with people
  • A desire to be intellectually stimulated and therefore curious and creative
  • An ability to solve complex business problems – preferably with a diagram!
  • A passion to help and inspire people
  • A massive fun-loving streak

But I do come with some limitations.

I am experiencing a fairly severe menopause so I can have days when I am physically exhausted and very emotional – I am constantly forgetful and can struggle to remember words and names.

I suffer from depression. It’s always there, just below the surface and as a consequence I have to be incredibly mindful of how much I take on and the level of stress I am able to cope with.

I have 3 young children and I am their main carer and home-maker as my husband frequently works away. They are my priority. Therefore my availability is limited and I can only travel infrequently.

This is me showing up and owning up.

Nik Davis
Nik Davishttps://nikdavis.com/
NIK DAVIS is a business transformation expert and has spent 20 years in the corporate world. Her comfort zone is order, logic and applying analytical tools to solve complex problems. She is also a keen observer of life, a writer and eccentric. Nik has recently returned to the world of work after taking a career break to spend time with her family. Upon her return, she found that her perspective had changed, as had the world she was returning to. Nik decided to carve out a new place in that world and mould some of it to fit her too. Nik sees life from quirky angles, shaped by experiences and the vast amount of knowledge we now have access to. She likes to write about her experiences and observations. To ‘tell it how it is’ and to find a more authentic way to live, whether in our professional or personal lives. Nik often talks about finding ‘The Third Way’. It’s a philosophy about life, having a personal life as well as a career, making money and being socially generous, being logical and sensitive, living by the rules of a society but not being afraid to challenge them, inspiring others to feel good but not for your own ego, giving rather than taking. Nik wants to make a difference to this world by getting people to see things differently, to try new ways of working but most of all, to re-discover our true selves and therefore reach our true potential. Nik also has two other persona’s: nikdavis which is where Nik writes about her deeply personal experiences of life. Nik runs a facebook group alongside this website to create a safe place for people to discuss the topics that are raised in her blog. Nik’s second persona is Lilly Isabella and this is where she shares her passion of fashion and design.
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Yvonne A. Jones

Totally, indisputably authentic. Nik, your writing has a beautiful flow of freedom from all the expectations we feel we have to live up to. It reminds up to just BE. Thank you.

Larry Tyler

Life often manages us and we manage how we feel about life doing that. Great Article.

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