Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 2

Living at work

We can use all the management jargon in the world but creating an organisation where people really want to be comes down to 3 basic components. We all need to be able to:

1. Live to our values and priorities;
2. Be whole and allow people to see and connect with all of us; and
3. Be curious and open to learning from ourselves and others.

• Show up and own up. In whatever way you can.
• Share a secret to take away its power and shame.
• Help a colleague or friend see something beautiful about themselves they are not able to see themselves.
• Look at an experience from a new perspective.
• Allow yourself to imagine the possibility of a different outcome from a mundane, repeating action or interaction.
• Plant a new idea in someone’s mind.
• Feel your fear, name it and tell someone.
• Commit to opening one door of vulnerability, even if only to yourself and take a peek at what lies behind it.

I bet one of these small actions can be a game changer for your day. In order to be the change, we want to see we have to change what we do, how we see things and our inner narrative one step at a time.

Over the weekend an argument raged – 2 egos battling it out and getting nowhere. Then the realisation hit me that I was wearing my armour and as a consequence not even arguing about the real issues. So, I went away and took Brené Brown’s advice. I wrote down each issue and the fear and subsequent vulnerability that sat behind them. I then showed up and owned up, without my armour. Guess what, there was no argument just a lack of understanding driven by a lack of honesty. Once we cracked that we could focus on finding a solution together not arguing about issues that were optical illusions hiding what was really going on.

The lesson from this – show up and own up. Have I a got a vulnerability hangover today? Yes. Am I scared and left holding an unresolved issue? No. The former is so much easier to manage than the latter.

• I’m not impressed by your title, position or power.
• I’m not impressed by the number of followers, likes or comments you get.
• I’m not impressed by who you know or where you go.
• I’m not impressed by your perceived class, monetary value or notoriety.

Alternatively:

• I am impressed by the dedication, commitment, and work you put into whatever it is you do.
• I am impressed if you engage with the people who follow you and respond to their comments.
• I am impressed if you show kindness and compassion to others whoever they may be.
• I am impressed by a willingness to give to others because you have more than enough.
• I am impressed by genuine, kind and loving people.

Here’s a secret I’m slowly uncovering. If you feel entitled to something but do not get it, it will always be someone else’s fault. If it is always someone else’s fault then you will never see your part in it, learn any lessons from it or be able to solve it. All of your energy will be spent on blame, resentment and sometimes revenge. You will get stuck, you will feel horrible and you will not be easy to like nor will you be able to like yourself that much.

There is no ‘entitlement’, there is only the reality of where you are now and the choices you make about where you want to be.

Use your time and energy wisely. Don’t throw it away on blame and resentment which will take you nowhere. Use it to learn, to look forward and leave entitlement where it belongs – in the bin.