Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 2

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Living at work

We can use all the management jargon in the world but creating an organisation where people really want to be comes down to 3 basic components. We all need to be able to:

  1. Live to our values and priorities;
  2. Be whole and allow people to see and connect with all of us; and
  3. Be curious and open to learning from ourselves and others.

EDITOR’S NOTE: SEE PART 1 IN THIS AMAZING SERIES BELOW:

Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 1

Be the change you want to see

  • Show up and own up. In whatever way you can.
  • Share a secret to take away its power and shame.
  • Help a colleague or friend see something beautiful about themselves they are not able to see themselves.
  • Look at an experience from a new perspective.
  • Allow yourself to imagine the possibility of a different outcome from a mundane, repeating action or interaction.
  • Plant a new idea in someone’s mind.
  • Feel your fear, name it and tell someone.
  • Commit to opening one door of vulnerability, even if only to yourself and take a peek at what lies behind it.

I bet one of these small actions can be a game changer for your day. In order to be the change, we want to see we have to change what we do, how we see things and our inner narrative one step at a time.

Bin the ego and embrace vulnerability

Over the weekend an argument raged – 2 egos battling it out and getting nowhere. Then the realisation hit me that I was wearing my armour and as a consequence not even arguing about the real issues. So, I went away and took Brené Brown’s advice. I wrote down each issue and the fear and subsequent vulnerability that sat behind them. I then showed up and owned up, without my armour. Guess what, there was no argument just a lack of understanding driven by a lack of honesty. Once we cracked that we could focus on finding a solution together not arguing about issues that were optical illusions hiding what was really going on.

The lesson from this – show up and own up. Have I a got a vulnerability hangover today? Yes. Am I scared and left holding an unresolved issue? No. The former is so much easier to manage than the latter.

How to really impress someone

  • I’m not impressed by your title, position or power.
  • I’m not impressed by the number of followers, likes or comments you get.
  • I’m not impressed by who you know or where you go.
  • I’m not impressed by your perceived class, monetary value or notoriety.

Alternatively:

  • I am impressed by the dedication, commitment, and work you put into whatever it is you do.
  • I am impressed if you engage with the people who follow you and respond to their comments.
  • I am impressed if you show kindness and compassion to others whoever they may be.
  • I am impressed by a willingness to give to others because you have more than enough.
  • I am impressed by genuine, kind and loving people.

Entitlement – what it really means

Here’s a secret I’m slowly uncovering. If you feel entitled to something but do not get it, it will always be someone else’s fault. If it is always someone else’s fault then you will never see your part in it, learn any lessons from it or be able to solve it. All of your energy will be spent on blame, resentment and sometimes revenge. You will get stuck, you will feel horrible and you will not be easy to like nor will you be able to like yourself that much.

There is no ‘entitlement’, there is only the reality of where you are now and the choices you make about where you want to be.

Use your time and energy wisely. Don’t throw it away on blame and resentment which will take you nowhere. Use it to learn, to look forward and leave entitlement where it belongs – in the bin.

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Nik Davis
NIK DAVIS is a business transformation expert and has spent 20 years in the corporate world. Her comfort zone is order, logic and applying analytical tools to solve complex problems. She is also a keen observer of life, a writer and eccentric. Nik has recently returned to the world of work after taking a career break to spend time with her family. Upon her return, she found that her perspective had changed, as had the world she was returning to. Nik decided to carve out a new place in that world and mould some of it to fit her too. Nik sees life from quirky angles, shaped by experiences and the vast amount of knowledge we now have access to. She likes to write about her experiences and observations. To ‘tell it how it is’ and to find a more authentic way to live, whether in our professional or personal lives. Nik often talks about finding ‘The Third Way’. It’s a philosophy about life, having a personal life as well as a career, making money and being socially generous, being logical and sensitive, living by the rules of a society but not being afraid to challenge them, inspiring others to feel good but not for your own ego, giving rather than taking. Nik wants to make a difference to this world by getting people to see things differently, to try new ways of working but most of all, to re-discover our true selves and therefore reach our true potential. Nik also has two other persona’s: nikdavis which is where Nik writes about her deeply personal experiences of life. Nik runs a facebook group alongside this website to create a safe place for people to discuss the topics that are raised in her blog. Nik’s second persona is Lilly Isabella and this is where she shares her passion of fashion and design.
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Yvonne A. Jones

This is such an informative post with the opportunity to deliver transformation in our thinking. What I especially enjoyed is the Sweet Spot in the Venn Diagram – Make Your Heart Sing. No matter what we do, if they’re not in alignment with our values and bring us joy, then they cause dis-stress, which none of us would deliberately go in search of.

Thank you for helping us to see how we can show up and be the change we want to see.