My random observations on life continue. Each day I awaken with fresh ideas and insights – all driven by my desire to get behind the optical illusion of life, to really see people, to understand my own journey better, to face my fears and in doing so, hopefully, help others with their’s too.
EDITOR’S NOTE: SEE PART 10 AND PRIOR OF THIS AMAZING SERIES BELOW⤵︎
You may find a slightly alternative flavour to these ramblings, as I have moved from mainstream role models of the day to more creative and alternative ones. All of this is to enable me to find my voice, to ensure no one, but no one gets to use it but me. I hope my observations will give you the courage, to find your voice too and in the words of the infamous Dolly Parton “find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
Making people matter
If you want to engage, motivate and connect with people, it really has to be about more than money and status. Honestly, it’s not rocket science, nor does it have to cost anything, but your time and care. Just tell people they matter, their work matters, they are appreciated, you do care whether they stay or go and you want to understand, what you can do to make their hearts sing.
It’s called a conversation, which comprises of:
Impact – show people you are listening, make time for them, put them on your radar, as a priority.
Communication – talk to them in their language and understand what is really going on in their minds.
Persuasion – make it a two-way street, you want them to give, to engage, to care, well show them that you do too.
People need to matter, what they do needs to matter and everyone has the capacity to give that to someone else. So please, just do it. That’s leadership in a nutshell.
Real human connection
“The product creates experience. The experience creates the reputation. The reputation creates the brand.”
Don’t tell me you’re a comedian, make me laugh” Dave Trott And this principle applies, so much in reverse, in our everyday life:
Don’t tell me you understand human connection and then ignore me
Don’t tell me you understand depression and then tell me to pull myself together
Don’t tell me you understand grief and then tell me it will go away
Don’t tell me you understand how difficult the menopause can be and then tell me to get on with it
Don’t tell me what I should or should not be, think, feel, say or behave, when you are not me.
Just share what you would like to, about you and accept me as I am. This is the fundamental building block upon which trust is built. You want real, genuine human connection – get upstream of the problem, be yourself and do not let judgement, make you into someone you are not meant to be.
Stop listening to others
I’ve just listened to a talk by Gary Vaynerchuk – my marmite guy.⤵︎
He had some really great advice, which resonated for me and he has mastered the use of the word f*ck down to a fine art. The key messages that stuck in my mind and if you believe that the universe has your back, I was meant to hear this morning, were:
1. Stop listening to others, stop living your life based on their judgements of you
2. Be happy in your own way, be brave enough to define what that means for you – and being famous or a millionaire is not a prerequisite to this
3. Work it out for yourself – you’re not happy, do something about it, you don’t know the answer, work it out, you want your life to be different, make it so, failure is ok, sitting on your arse doing nothing because you are scared of judgement, is not.
So, on that note I’m off to lay down – I’m knackered today (the bloody menopause), read Dave Trott’s book, ‘one and one makes three’ and then go and watch my daughters school play this afternoon. Because I’m not listening to anyone but me and that’s ok.
Make sure you listen to you today, not a preconceived idea or judgement, that will steal your day and every day if you let it.
Happiness is not a constant state
Happiness is not a constant state, it’s part of life, as is sadness. Depression is neither, it is the loss of ourselves and the ability to live our lives fully.
We need to help people return home to themselves, just like we would if we saw a child lost and alone.