Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 11

My random observations on life continue. Each day I awaken with fresh ideas and insights – all driven by my desire to get behind the optical illusion of life, to really see people, to understand my own journey better, to face my fears and in doing so, hopefully, help others with their’s too.

EDITOR’S NOTE: SEE PART 10 AND PRIOR OF THIS AMAZING SERIES BELOW⤵︎

Managing The Hell Out Of Life – Part 10

You may find a slightly alternative flavour to these ramblings, as I have moved from mainstream role models of the day to more creative and alternative ones. All of this is to enable me to find my voice, to ensure no one, but no one gets to use it but me. I hope my observations will give you the courage, to find your voice too and in the words of the infamous Dolly Parton “find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

Making people matter

If you want to engage, motivate and connect with people, it really has to be about more than money and status. Honestly, it’s not rocket science, nor does it have to cost anything, but your time and care. Just tell people they matter, their work matters, they are appreciated, you do care whether they stay or go and you want to understand, what you can do to make their hearts sing.

It’s called a conversation, which comprises of:

Impact – show people you are listening, make time for them, put them on your radar, as a priority.

Communication – talk to them in their language and understand what is really going on in their minds.

Persuasion – make it a two-way street, you want them to give, to engage, to care, well show them that you do too.

People need to matter, what they do needs to matter and everyone has the capacity to give that to someone else. So please, just do it. That’s leadership in a nutshell.

Real human connection

“The product creates experience. The experience creates the reputation. The reputation creates the brand.”

Don’t tell me you’re a comedian, make me laugh” Dave Trott And this principle applies, so much in reverse, in our everyday life:

Don’t tell me you understand human connection and then ignore me

Don’t tell me you understand depression and then tell me to pull myself together

Don’t tell me you understand grief and then tell me it will go away

Don’t tell me you understand how difficult the menopause can be and then tell me to get on with it

Don’t tell me what I should or should not be, think, feel, say or behave, when you are not me.

Just share what you would like to, about you and accept me as I am. This is the fundamental building block upon which trust is built. You want real, genuine human connection – get upstream of the problem, be yourself and do not let judgement, make you into someone you are not meant to be.

Stop listening to others

I’ve just listened to a talk by Gary Vaynerchuk – my marmite guy.⤵︎

He had some really great advice, which resonated for me and he has mastered the use of the word f*ck down to a fine art. The key messages that stuck in my mind and if you believe that the universe has your back, I was meant to hear this morning, were:

1. Stop listening to others, stop living your life based on their judgements of you

2. Be happy in your own way, be brave enough to define what that means for you – and being famous or a millionaire is not a prerequisite to this

3. Work it out for yourself – you’re not happy, do something about it, you don’t know the answer, work it out, you want your life to be different, make it so, failure is ok, sitting on your arse doing nothing because you are scared of judgement, is not.

So, on that note I’m off to lay down – I’m knackered today (the bloody menopause), read Dave Trott’s book, ‘one and one makes three’ and then go and watch my daughters school play this afternoon. Because I’m not listening to anyone but me and that’s ok.

Make sure you listen to you today, not a preconceived idea or judgement, that will steal your day and every day if you let it.

Happiness is not a constant state

Happiness is not a constant state, it’s part of life, as is sadness. Depression is neither, it is the loss of ourselves and the ability to live our lives fully.

We need to help people return home to themselves, just like we would if we saw a child lost and alone.

Nik Davis
Nik Davishttps://nikdavis.com/
NIK DAVIS is a business transformation expert and has spent 20 years in the corporate world. Her comfort zone is order, logic and applying analytical tools to solve complex problems. She is also a keen observer of life, a writer and eccentric. Nik has recently returned to the world of work after taking a career break to spend time with her family. Upon her return, she found that her perspective had changed, as had the world she was returning to. Nik decided to carve out a new place in that world and mould some of it to fit her too. Nik sees life from quirky angles, shaped by experiences and the vast amount of knowledge we now have access to. She likes to write about her experiences and observations. To ‘tell it how it is’ and to find a more authentic way to live, whether in our professional or personal lives. Nik often talks about finding ‘The Third Way’. It’s a philosophy about life, having a personal life as well as a career, making money and being socially generous, being logical and sensitive, living by the rules of a society but not being afraid to challenge them, inspiring others to feel good but not for your own ego, giving rather than taking. Nik wants to make a difference to this world by getting people to see things differently, to try new ways of working but most of all, to re-discover our true selves and therefore reach our true potential. Nik also has two other persona’s: nikdavis which is where Nik writes about her deeply personal experiences of life. Nik runs a facebook group alongside this website to create a safe place for people to discuss the topics that are raised in her blog. Nik’s second persona is Lilly Isabella and this is where she shares her passion of fashion and design.
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