Managing our own expectations
OUR EXPECTATIONS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN OUR BEST GUESSES SCULPTED INTO THEORY
We often expect too much from people. We believe they will support us, do everything for us or are here for us when we need them. We see them as milk cows.And when our expectations aren’t fulfilled we are disappointed.
Now you might ask:
What can I do when I have problems with my expectations?
The answer would be:
Manage your expectations!
Here some tips for managing your expectations
- Set clear expectations
Ask yourself:
“Have I made my expectations clear?”
Too many expectations are not made clear from the beginning.
People often think everything is clear, they assume that the message is clear.
And in the end, they are disappointed when people don’t come through as expected.
Fact is:
Assumptions are never the way to success.
We should not assume!
Assumptions are unspoken and undocumented ideas.
We all, too often, assume something – but that is false.
Expectations built on assumptions are at risk of not being met.
So how can we minimize this risk?
Why not saying what we want?
Why not saying what we wish?
Sharing what we think leads to a better understanding.
The other person knows now what we want.
We must not hide our thoughts.
- Reflect whether your expectations are realistic
It is also good to reflect whether the own expectations make sense. Checking whether they are realistic.
It is so easy to think of what could be – better it is to not lose sight of reality.
Reflect about the impact of the own expectations.
Ask other people whether your expectations are reasonable.
And whether they are doable.
- Reflect what will happen when your expectations aren’t met
Sometimes it is good to think what might happen afterwards.
Thinking about what might happen, when our own expectations aren’t met.
A wise anticipation is here a chance.
How will you react when your expectations aren’t met?
How could you still move forward?
Positive expectations are the mark of the superior personality.
(Brian Tracy)
- Managing other people’s expectations
IT IS IMPORTANT TO MANAGE OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS, TOO
Now it could be that other people have expectations, that they expect something from us.
What can we do here?
The answer would be:
Manage their expectations!
Here some tips for managing others’ expectations:
- Set on communication
First, the point is to ask other people what they expect.
Only through asking we find out what people want.
For example, when a customer is in a bad mood and not satisfied, we should ask what he expects. We should show that we care about him.
Second, people should know how we feel, where our boundaries and preferences are and when we are not available.
- Anticipate problems
When problems might occur, we should name them.
It’s worth spending a few minutes “catastrophizing”.
Means talking about worst-case scenarios that could happen.
Afterwards, we should articulate a few key points that ensure people that those scenarios won’t happen.
- Know the biases of others
Think about any common history or relationship you may have had with people.
Do these things give you any clues as to their perspective?
Herewith, you can anticipate what they might expect.
Now you can under-promise and over-deliver.
Never let anyone else’s expectations direct the course of your life!
(Karin Sebelin)
SUMMARY
Through managing expectations (our own and others’) we foster trust and strengthen our relationships.
Managing expectations, in general, is of advantage.
Expectations are never the key to success!
Better avoid having too high expectations!
