As I saunter through middle age, forgetfulness has become a bit more commonplace than I was initially prepared for. Of course, it raises a sense of concern when I walk into a room these days and I can’t recall the purpose of my journey. But, oddly enough, forgetting stuff has actually taught me valuable lessons about acceptance, adaptation, and the true essence of life.
With age, our priorities shift naturally. Whether you are consciously into the whole “mindfulness” thing or not at all, it still seems inevitable that we focus more on present moments as we inch closer to our unavoidable demise. Thus, one of the actual pleasures of aging is relishing our experiences more. “Youth is wasted on the young,” said George Bernard Shaw or Oscar Wilde (no one can quite pin down when, where, and who said it). Once we are old-timers, we become all too aware of the treasure that is life. Accordingly, forgetting minor details becomes inconsequential compared to the richness of the present.
Forgetting also enables us to selectively remember what truly matters. Significant events, cherished moments, and milestones are etched deeply in our minds, while trivialities fade away. This declutters the mind a bit, allowing us to prioritize meaningful memories.
Forgetfulness compels me to fully engage with my surroundings and the people I love as well. I appreciate the beauty of life in front of me, unburdened by the past or future.
Though forgetting can be scary at times, for fear of a more serious condition like dementia, some forgetfulness is bound to happen to all of us the older we get. To adapt, I write things down more or pause before I leave one room to focus on my purpose of entering another. I think forgetting stuff has actually made me a more responsible, adaptable person.
All in all, memory lapses as I age haven’t been as worrisome as anticipated. Instead, my memory slips teach me to live more in the present, cherish what truly matters, and accept myself and others as imperfect beings. And, embracing imperfections, such as forgetfulness, and accepting our humanity are vital components of having true joy and fulfillment in life. Now, THAT’S worth remembering! So, while I am starting to forget stuff more often the older I get, I don’t mind as much as I thought I would.
I so needed this message today. Thank you.
So glad it resonated, David!
Yeah, agreed. And I appreciated that you mentioned that forgetfulness doesn’t mean dementia! I was reading about this recently, and from a neuroscience POV, the brain culls info it thinks it no longer needs, or at least, puts it into compact storage. As I undertake my memoir, I hope that’s the case because sometimes it seems that the filing cabinets are empty!
So well said, my friend. This may sound like, “Well, that’s easy for Jeff to say,” but I have found that deliberately trying to slow down and avoid distractions helps. Our mutual friend, Melissa Hughes – https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissahughesphd/ – has written about this in her always helpful NeuroNuggets.
One thing at a time…
Thanks, Jeff! Yeah, it’s not necessarily that I am happy about being more forgetful as I get older, BUT I AM more grateful that it has persuaded me to become more deliberate and focused.