I never seemed to be drawn to the writings of poetry; although listening to poems written and read by many of the famous and not so famous, I would dabble in it from time to time. On Christmas Eve of 2007, alone I sat. I had no contact with my children or grandchildren and I just sat staring at the fireplace blazing, mesmerized by the flames, I began to write what I felt then and there. I thought, I could not possibly be the only grandparent or parent estranged from their families. I thought I would like to go home…
A single stocking hangs from the fireplace, which is cold and dark. She sits wrapped in a blanket in the corner of the room, silent and empty. No sounds of joy fill her heart. No laughter to make her smile. Not even a hug or two. Another Christmas come and gone, no cards, no gifts, no hello’s … nothing. She has aged so much over the 4 Christmas past; she has faded away, her heart shattered…
Once she had a loving home, lights and laughter were all around her. The warmth of the fireplace and the crackling wood breaks the silence. Smells from the kitchen of food being baked and the sweet aroma of the cakes filled the air.
Music played and she would sing as the tree was decorated, lights were hung, fragrance from the pinecones emanated beneath the tree.
The Christmas lists that were written by her two little gifts of life, her daughter, and son, are still within her, folded and hidden in her memory.
The precious ornaments are hanging all around the tree and the collection of nativities’ are everywhere, reminding her of the birth of Our Lord.
Suddenly, in this room of darkness, a light appears, She is not afraid. She wishes to see her children again, kiss the cheeks of her grandchildren.
To feel someone hug her, call her mom, to hear the words: “I Love You”, once more. To know she is loved as she has loved.
The light becomes brighter and the room fills with warmth. A voice so beautiful speaks: I come to comfort you my daughter and bring you gentle peace. I come with love from my Son, a love beyond all measure.
My Son has walked with you ever step of your life, feeling your pain, seeing your agonizing heart, sharing in your loneliness and isolation.
My Son sees the goodness of your heart, the kindness of your soul, the compassion and love that you have buried so deep. Your devoted love for HIM.
Come with me now my child, and hold my hand, where I will take you on a journey to see the good you have done within your life. With her eyes closed, feeling the warmth and peace surrounding her, she let herself go and through her journey, God showed her all the good things she had done as a mother and friend, wiping away the bad because the good in her was so strong.
The love she gave as a wife to each that she loved, wiping away the hurts she caused, she loved so deeply. All the things she did as a friend to others; wiping away the offenses she caused, she would lay down her life for her friends.
All the kindness given to strangers; wiping away the questions of doubt, that were selfish, because she loved God so much. All the pain, criticism, persecution for things she was said to have done, but God knew her heart. She bore the pain in silence.
As the journey ended, she saw the face of her children, she cried, saying, “I have always loved you.” She saw the grandchildren she so deeply missed, and they now knew her and said, “We Love you, Nana! That is the Innocence of God’s love within these tiny souls. The beautiful voice spoke again saying, “My Son will always be with you as I will. Someday you will live with us, without sorrow or loneliness, but for now, make your home beautiful for HIM.
Blessings and Merry Christmas!