“We can only be kept in the cages we refuse to see.”
– Stefan Molyneux
What cages have you freed yourself from, or are working on freeing yourself from? These cages have been created from stories that we tell ourselves. Stories of our unworthiness and insecurities. Maybe you have totally different cages locked away in the darkness than I talk about below. What I do know, is that we all have cages, and we all have the keys to unlock them.
“Most human beings live like a bird in a cage whose door was blown away. Out of habit, too busy gold-plating the cage, they do not soar to the ultimate possibility.”
– Jaggi Vasudeu
For many years I kept the real me hidden and locked away. I wanted people to love me, so I hid away all of the insecurities and made a strong mask to wear in public.
I was a daughter to a wonderful mom that I loved but was always afraid that someday she wouldn’t love me because I had not been the perfect daughter. This was my own story, not hers.
I am a sister, who has been more a mother to my younger sisters and brother, than a sister. I love them all dearly and wanted to protect them from all dangers, but I failed them. This was my own story, not theirs.
I worked myself up the corporate ladder of a major bank, becoming a “master” at mortgage finance and earning the title of Director. Yet at the same time, I was hiding away the insecurity of being found out to be a fraud. I was a high school drop out without a college degree. This was my story, and I release it, and release it, and release it (lack of formal education is a sticky belief for me).
I am a wife to my true love, my best friend, my partner. Through 43 years we have seen good times and bad. We have four wonderful children and now have 13 grandchildren. Many times I smiled on the outside and was dying on the inside because I didn’t know how to communicate my own needs. So instead, became a martyr for everyone else’s. This was my story, not theirs.
I am a student of life. I am confident and unsure. I am terrified and excited. I am a young girl and an old woman. I wish on stars and dream dreams. I have been through many transformations, walking through the valley of fire and shadows. I have stepped off the edge of cliffs so I could soar across chasms. I have climbed up steep mountains, only to ride the rushing rivers back down into the valley.
I am just like you. A woman of many talents, conflicting emotions, and insecurities. I have set myself free from many of the stories I told myself. because the stories themselves were just cages to keep me contained. There are more cages that await the doors to be opened. I have a handful of keys to the cages, and I am continuing to transform.
“People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.”
– Alain De Bottom
Have you started rattling the bars of your cage? It starts with learning to love all of the parts of yourself.
I have set myself free from the cages I created with the above false stories – the cage of perfection; the cage of protecting others from life experiences; and the cage of not having a degree; all of which were locked inside the larger cage of “I am not worthy” and so must earn your love and respect with every step, knowing that nothing I do can satiate that kind of thinking.
I love myself as I am today, perfectly imperfect. And, I love myself for who I am transforming into.