During the last three months, I have listened closely and channeled gentle ocean waves of unconditional love and compassion to parts of myself-especially Unworthy Ursula and Terrified Tammy. Together they showed up as the Exiled One holding layers of spoken and unspoken traumas I endured and continue to heal/transform.
During a transformative dream I had– a child enthusiastically greeted me at the bottom of the road where I live here in Black Mountain. The child then ran up the curvy mountain road joyously hollering, “Laura’s Here! Laura’s Here! Laura’s Here!” I woke up in tears.
In an astonishing, transformative somatic session with a gifted Somatic Experiencing practitioner, I unburdened my Exiled One of so many of the hurts she had carried and welcomed home Laura of 2022.
In the experience of my boundaries being impeccably honored in the House of Joy and observing new individual actions Paul began taking for his individual growth-especially after his scary bout with Covid, I started to rediscover Paul. We both continue rediscovering Us. Our love for each other which had grown in the five years of being together became the backdrop for deeper healing, growth, and evolution-individually and together. We continue to have astonishing, brave, vulnerable, heartfelt conversations and are currently being graciously supported, affirmed, and guided by a couple who are gifted in hearing, valuing, seeing, and gently guiding us as individuals and in our couple dynamic. We are learning life-enriching skills, fresh, heartfelt ways to connect with emotional consent.
Paul and I also listened to and discussed the Unlocking Us Podcast with Brene Brown and the Gottmans. They offer honest, vulnerable, and practical guidance for turning towards each other with love and caring. To my delight, Paul gifted me a copy of The Love Prescription and he got himself a copy of the book, too. We’ll both dive in separately and engage the practical ideas-which include many we already had been doing! Paul asked for other personal/spiritual growth resources from me-which I happily shared-including Super Soul Sunday episodes on YouTube and the podcast, We Can Do Hard Things.
Experiencing enduring safety, belonging, and worthiness in being- body, mind, heart, and soul inside a home and with other people-especially an intimate partner-remains an unfolding, brave, and vulnerable process. Becoming an emotionally safe person requires tools and practices. Rebuilding trust with an intimate partner who is becoming an even more emotionally safe person takes time and focused commitment. Courage, self-compassion, compassion for another, loving-kindness, and grace-a radiant foundation inside yourself and a bridge to build and nurture with others.
As my daughter stated it, “Mom, being unconditionally loved and accepted by another person can be terrifying.” And may one of those people become You with all your younger selves AND a beloved person (or maybe more!) during your lifetime. And may your experience of receiving love and offering love become less terrifying and over time a magnificent, miraculous pathway, a courageous purpose worthy of your life energy.