Looking Good Doesn’t Work

Why do we want to look good in the eyes of others? Is there some belief we learned that says if we look good, then we’ll get what we want? Perhaps we learned that looking good means we are good enough to get the approval, love, acceptance and/ or validation that we seek. Western culture and the media reinforce this belief by promoting an ideal body image, the perfect age, what is “in fashion,” the perfect lifestyle, the best religion and even how to be the right kind of philanthropist. Socially, we give higher respect to those that look good, even while we may be quietly comparing and judging ourselves against them. This keeps us stuck believing in the hope that looking good can give us what we want from others, so we can feel better about ourselves. A circuitous route at best.

When we remember that we are creating our experience based on where we focus our attention, we realize that we have a choice about what we focus on.

What if we could just go directly to feeling good without anyone else involved? Most people that I know who feel good, also tend to look good. This naturally happens from the inside out since their inner frequency and vibration (how they feel) radiates outwards into their external, physical experience (how it looks). They are filled with life, vibrancy, energy, and interest. When we remember that we are creating our experience based on where we focus our attention, we realize that we have a choice about what we focus on. Instead of focusing on looking good to feel good from gaining outer reward, let’s just go right to feeling good now.

Imagining myself feeling good now by loving, approving, accepting and validating my inner experience is my job, no one else’s. I can do this on a regular basis regardless of the circumstances before me. When I imagine what I want and generate that good feeling good right now, I am generating the vibration and frequency of circumstances that match how I want to feel. This good feeling makes me aware of new possibilities that I would have previously missed.

To feel good, I can generate those good feelings right now by imagining having the experience I want in my inner vision, regardless of my current circumstances. When circumstances look bleak, I have a choice as to where I focus. It is our job is to be aware of and make choices that feel better to us in every situation and let others do the same for themselves. We can focus directly on feeling better ourselves instead of needing others or the situation to respond to us in a way that may (or may not) get our needs met.

How can you shift from looking good to feeling good today?


Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
WENDY is passionate about enabling individuals, organizations and communities to value themselves and each other in the ongoing process of change. Wendy has guided hundreds of individuals and over 750+ public and private sector organizations to achieve tangible increases in impact and performance. Her successful practice in mentoring and coaching has led to authorship of the book, ‘Live a Life You Love and Make a Living Doing It’. Over the last 30 years, Wendy’s skills have been honed in leadership roles at MTV Networks, The Rensselaerville Institute, and a variety of community based projects in her town. In 2015 she launched BeliefWorks and offers Belief Coaching as a way to address the root cause of what limits the results we can achieve both personally and professionally. This is an 'upstream' solution to change. Instead of changing limiting behavior, she focuses on changing the limiting beliefs that drive that behavior. In all cases, her clients and partners speak to the specific increases in achievement that her consulting, coaching and partnership roles make possible.

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