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Living In The Depths Of Solitude, You Preserve Your Own Soul

Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no whenever you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.

 –  Eve Ensler

It was really interesting in locating a photo for this quote. I looked up woman in solitude, and 90% of the photos showed women who were depressed, some even suicidal with a hangman’s noose besides one woman and suicide by pills in several others. I couldn’t believe that solitude was paired up with depression and suicide.

Solitude is critical to being able to love oneself. This is not being an isolationist, which could become unbalanced when taken to extremes. But rather as a sign of being balanced, because you are happy with your own company. Being alone doesn’t make you lonely. It took much longer than I thought to find a photo that actually displayed that kind of joyous feeling within it.

As women we give so much of ourselves away.  We constantly see to the needs of others.  Solitude is how we can balance this out, so that we are not giving too much of ourselves away.  Solitude is strength.

The quieter you become, the  more you can hear

 – Ram Dass 

At various times of the year, it is vital to have some solitude to review this past year and do some deep thinking for how you want the rest of the year to be for you.  What dreams did you bring into reality?  What dreams did you sideline?  What dreams need to be released, as they no longer fire your soul with passion to be accomplished?  What dreams are waiting to come into your life? 

Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul

  –   Marcus Aurelius.

If you have ever read anything about the “crowd mentality”, it demonstrates how those who must always be with people have a weakness.  They are afraid to speak out against the crowd.  To not be considered “normal”.  They don’t want to stick out. 

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

 – Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is nothing more freeing and empowering to like your own company and be your own person no matter where you are.  It is much more fun to be considered weird.  W is for wonderful; E is for exciting; I is for interesting; R is for real and D is for different.


I love the first quote because it shows great courage to do things like take trains to somewhere you have never been by yourself. To go so far away that you lose the fear of finding your way home. That you will do something that you know in the depths of your soul is yours alone to do, even when everyone you know disagrees. 

Solitude is the soul’s holiday, an opportunity to stop doing for others and to surprise and delight ourselves.

  –  Katrina Kenison

I believe that we all have that kind of courage, but some of us are still holding back. The only way out, really is, to go through. To step past the place of safety on the sand. You need to actually cross over the line into adventure, stepping into the sea. 

True happiness is impossible without solitude…, I need solitude in my life as I need food and drink and the laughter of little children.  Extravagant though it may sound, solitude is the filter of my soul.  It nourishes me, and rejuvenates me.  Left alone, I discovered that I keep myself good company.

   – Sophia Loren

If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.

  – Paulo Coelho

Only by being alone with yourself can you come to true honesty with who you are, and how you are being reflected in the world.  It is in this place of honesty, you are able to authentically release the parts of you that are not you, and own in the real world the parts of you that are crying to be released into life. 

Only to the extent that we expose ourselves to the changing tides of the sea, can we transform into who we are becoming. I think that we all want to find out what we are doing here, and we can’t do that staying safely on the dry land. We have to step over the line to experience adventure. Here is to smooth sailing!

Sheryl Silbaugh
Sheryl Silbaughhttp://lemonademakers.org/
SHERYL Silbaugh is a writer, speaker, and transformational coach. She is a Director at Bank of America. She is the founder of LemonadeMakers.org created to inspire people to transform grief into gold. In April 2010, Sheryl suffered the loss of her nephew, who was randomly killed by a gang member. The idea of LemonadeMakers came from her grief. She experienced firsthand the creative power of transformation. She started a small Facebook presence that has grown from 500 followers in July 2015 to over 47,300 in March 2017. She demonstrates how to take life’s lemons and make lemonade. She is a skilled guide for those experiencing transition or loss. When we let go of what no longer serves us, and open ourselves to our soul’s calling, we uncover the treasures of our experience and can let the rest blow away on the winds of healing. She aims to support people to create transformation in every area of their lives. She provides insights on how to collaborate together to manifest their dreams in The LemonadeMakers Club. She teaches how to explore our inner and outer world to see what needs to be transformed. She is gifted in her ability to see patterns in human behavior and asks just the right questions to start unlocking the doors to your life purpose and the unique personal genius that we all have. Her book, “Timeless Treasures” will be published the summer of 2017, a collection of over 90 essays on transformation.

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3 CONVERSATIONS

    • Thank you. I worry that in our world of digital distractions with our cell phones being used for 24/7 for entertainment, that introspection is becoming a lost art.

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