I was tuned into the radio yesterday morning as I headed into work. I enjoyed listening as the DJ’s dialogued about a celebrity they described as “so very real!” They touted her social media posts where she shares both the good and bad and they admired her ability to be authentic and genuine.
While I am not sure anything posted on social media is truly authentic, I loved the interaction because it reveals something interesting about everyone I know. Even more, it reveals something powerful about the trait of authenticity.
When I see you being brave and authentic and real, I am filled with admiration and praise you! When I think of doing the same, I feel weak, small, and exposed.
It seems to be a universal thing that when it comes to being real and genuine ourselves, we are not so sure it is a good idea. What we admire in others we fear so much in our own lives. We want the people around us to be “real,” but we struggle so much to do the same.
I imagine if we were truly able to look into people’s private lives, we would find that there is often incongruence between what we show others and what is really going on. In our voyeuristic world, where we are all displaying so much for others to see, it can be so hard to know what is truly real. Not to mention, who wants to post all the negative stuff anyway?
I do not see it very often, but I admire those who can courageously share what is really going on. Some of the most commented on posts are so real. For instance, this was in my news feed this morning:
“I don’t think will ever find someone that will make me feel special.”
Wow! Is that raw and real? Of course, it was followed by a sad emoticon. I felt a surge of love for and concern for this friend. She just gave words to something I have felt. I have been there. I know that feeling and it hits me just thinking about it. I get it!
So, being authentic requires us to embrace both the light and the dark in our lives. I am not advocating that we must post both on Instagram or Pinterest, but we can own all sides of who we are and our lives. Truth be told, we probably should not share the darkest of the dark on social media sites. However, we all have and need trusted friends to share these things with. We all need people with whom we can be brave and real.
So, how do you do it? What is the way to living more authentically? What do I need to know to be more real? Here are a couple thoughts:
First, being real requires each of us to be truly okay with who we are right now. The best version of me is who I am right now. Out of all of the people who has ever come to this beautiful world, I am unique and original. We all love an original car, meal, or piece of art. Well, that is just what we are. We are all unique and special. One of my favorite quotes, from Robert C. Gay, says it best:
“Let this one absolute truth from heaven sink into your mind and heart. You have the power within you to astonish this world.” You are truly incredible!”
Second, you are not competing against anyone. If you do choose to compete, it should just be against yourself. It has been said that each of is in second place to ourselves. We are striving to be better than the best self we were yesterday! You do not have to run faster, walk faster, type faster, blog faster, or work faster than anyone else. Just keep being better than the previous version of yourself.
Finally, being authentic requires courage. If you find it hard to be real in your life, start small with one area of your life. Perhaps, you can tell your partner how you really feel about something. Share a deeper thought with your child. Risk yourself a bit more with a trusted friend who you know can be counted on to support you. Open up and share a little bit more of your inner world and see what happens. Test it. This is not a haphazard exposure of the real you. This is being a little more intentional with someone you know is safe. Try it and watch what happens.
I loved hearing that discussion on the radio. I want to be known as someone who is real and genuine. I want to be brave! I want to live with daring! I want to be an authentic and true person! I believe it is such a positive way to live! Let’s get real people!