Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.
—Stephen Covey
It was about the age of 45 that I started reflecting on my lessons learned that I wanted to pass down to our now young adult children or anyone that might benefit…
I wrote each one out and countered my thinking to their current life experience. My hope was to not ‘nag’ but coach and inspire. The big question:
Do younger people really learn from those who walked before? Or do they gain more insight from those they walk with…stumble, roll and break open? Is it generational? Or a more expansive landscape on a human level?
Not sure, but what I do know for sure; the life I have walked has had degrees of pure joy, raw heartbreak, intense introspection, sudden loss, personal judgement, utter disappointment, and a solid grounding beyond comprehension. All holding something inside me that felt worth sharing.
So, for my children, for every person that I have walked before or anyone who might gain insight … this is for you.
Know yourself, love yourself; settle into yourself…
It’s not about what other people think about YOU, it is what YOU think about YOU. It is about feeling comfortable in your own skin and enjoying your own company. Listen with your heart, and your true self will emerge. When you settle for yourself, you will never settle for anyone who is not themselves.
Find your faith…
Find quiet moments in your day to pray, meditate or just be still. Trust there is something outside of yourself that is ever-present and powerful. Choose faith over failure. If you have faith, you have hope, and when you have hope you always see a way. When you see a way, you never give up. And no matter what, never ever give up!
Practice compassion daily…
When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes it will change your perspective. Take yourself out of yourself and feel their pains or their joy; it will broaden your view of the world. Remember, your world is much bigger than the sandbox you are playing in right now. No matter the personal crisis you may be facing. There are people in the world who are suffering beyond your comprehension. Compassion is critical and perspective is necessary.
Listen to the whisper, the churn in your belly, and the goosebumps on your arms…
Pay close attention. Those sensations are not sensations at all, they are you speaking – it is your heart. Don’t listen to the second voice, that is just doubt, and definitely don’t listen to the third voice, that is just someone else’s opinion. Your intellect is a great source for information, but your heart knows your truth. Slow down and pay attention. Bottom line – trust your instincts.
Keep your mind and body healthy and whole…
Go to the gym, take a yoga class, find a running track…Find something that keeps your mind and body connected, healthy, and working together, because, in the times when everything else seems disconnected, it will keep you centered and grounded. Your physical wellness is the starting and ending point to everything In-between.
Use your words…
Find the confidence to speak your truth gently and powerfully. “Don’t shrink, don’t puff up – just stand your ground”. Use your words to express your courage, make personal connections and share your compassion.
Find your gift…
God put you on this Earth to share your gifts. Take yourself out of your comfort zone. Learn as much as you can, read as much as you can, dance as much as you can, listen as much as you can, do as much as you can, travel as much as you can because that’s how you will find it. It’s already inside of you, you just need to spark it, so ignite as many flames as you can, and notice which one keeps burning. Your gift is your legacy, the legacy that will help serve the world
If you only remember one thing, remember this: You are the most important person in the whole world…
There is only ONE you and you are unique. You will be the change you want in this world because of who you are and the gifts you bring. You are a powerful force in this universe, and the world needs you. You will be the one to determine your own direction, and if you trust your own compass, you will always remain on your path. And when you look back on your life you will see the wake of a life well-lived.
If anything here resonates or feels like a fit – take it with you.
If I am reminding you of what you already know – take it with you.
If this is new and maybe a bit uncomfortable, just sit in the space and please take it with you…. If you wish.
One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.
—Abraham Maslow
Hi Carol,
These are lovely lessons cloaked in beautiful words. They are a beautiful gift to your children as well as those who are open to the possibilities. Thank you!
With a smile,
Darlene
Thank you Darlene! I continue to realize although I did write these for my children, they were also reminders that I needed as well.
So appreciate you reading and commenting.
Thank you Charlotte!
This so affirming for me right here:”And I am sure that if such words are in accordance with the way we live, our children will know.”
I trust this with my whole heart.
Charlotte,
You have it so right… We can’t just write the words. We need to live them by example. Thank you for seeing that critical detail!
Great encouragement here Carolyn
It encapsulates the very birthright of dignity we all have. To be encouraged to know and identify with this right is directly introduced, or lack there of..by what we are born into…
I do believe that we are greatly influenced by the environment and nurtured by the ones who we are in contact with, and this varies across the board. When and if we do figure out it’s ok to love yourself and honour this value, then it is our job to pass it in to the younger ones especially.
I did write a piece on this you might like It is in my Bizcatalyst360 profile, titled “What You Grow Into”… just an FYI
I really enjoyed that you mentioned many ways we can harness the best self ever, as we are our own best friends. Self love is critical, and most fundamental
Thank you so much for this positive and well needed article.
Paula
Paula,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I will definitely take a look at your writing… love connecting on topics that bring us closer together!
Aww, thank you so much and no worries. Just thought how we resonate. 🙏😀
You are touching on such a loaded subject for us whose children have grown up in a different place with different values than where their parents grew up, Carolyn.
I love every subject you touched. And I am sure that if such words are in accordance with the way we live, our children will know. If not, the words will not make a difference unless we also share what makes it so difficult to live by them. And then try harder.