Leadership Can Save Your Marriage

I need you to save my marriage!

That was the opening sentence, breathlessly delivered by a Chief Executive Officer, who became a client. He owned three businesses, and his best friends were Managing Directors of two of them. He had heard me speak of the damage of ‘burnout’ amongst busy people.

I was startled by what he said but gave no indication to him. In short, his wife had given him significant feedback the previous evening. She sat him down and told him some home truths.

She gave him the good news that she was expecting their second child. She preferred their life when he was employed as he worked regular hours. This meant he saw their child and her at reasonable times. She was fed up with him arriving home late and shattered, late for meals and quality family time. He was always playing with business emails on his phone until late at night. He was told that if he didn’t sort this situation out quickly, she would ensure he never saw his two children, and she would take half of his businesses. She would find herself someone who would love her properly. It was up to him.

It would be fair to say my client had a strong motivation to change his ways. The essence of the problem was that my client could not effectively prioritise, felt it was his responsibility to know everything about the three businesses and make ALL the decisions.

We discussed #Leadership and it’s relevance to his situation.

#Leadership is doing the right things at the right time for the right reasons.

#Leadership is a service function.

#Leadership creates the environment and culture of the organisation.

#Leadership is not being the best at everything, rather, it is surrounding yourself with people who are better at what they do than you are.

#Leadership engages and energises those we are responsible for, to deliver their maximum quality of performance, freely, on behalf of the team.

Trust is the cement that binds the team together.

Our Coaching and Mentoring sessions were based upon these principles. My client became a master of his time, rather than its servant. The three separate businesses were developed into a coherent Group. He learned to appropriately and effectively delegate to his BEST FRIENDS! The bottom line increased significantly and was sustainable. My client became noticeably happier and less stressed than he had been for years. He inherited a ‘Time Dividend, which he could ‘spend’ between the things that really mattered in life ( Family, Hobbies) and business. The family was able to enjoy their holidays without the regular intrusion of business calls and emails, made and received by my client. The mystery of Out of Office’ actually meaning what it said was solved. Several months later, my client introduced me to his wife at a social function. She said to me;

Thank you for saving my Marriage. Thank you for saving my Husband.

This was a highly emotional conversation. My Client’s wife, my Client and I were on the verge of tears.

Helping Clients to change in ways that they never imagined they could, and seeing the dramatic improvement in their quality of life and business performance is truly priceless.

The choice is ours.

Tony Munday
Tony Mundayhttp://www.achievesuccess.org.uk/
TONY developed his expertise during his Police career of 34 years. Whilst a Senior Leader, for 15 years, he recognised the challenges and pressures faced by Leaders, including those which were of his own making. Tony was a ‘maverick ‘as a Leader. He became accredited in, and practiced, coaching as a Leadership Style, and Situational Leadership (adopt a style relevant and appropriate to the context). This was unusual amongst colleagues and peers, who maintained a firm adherence to a ‘command and control’ style, on most occasions. Tony recognised that it was impossible for him to effectively lead and micromanage. In order to develop appropriate trust and motivation amongst those he had responsibility for, he ensured that he knew the person behind the role. This enabled Tony to effectively performance manage, with fairness. Where appropriate, Tony practiced a ‘service’ style of Leadership. He saw his role, as providing the strategic direction, the environment, setting the values and developing the people, so they took responsibility for delivery of their own and other’s performance. The subsequent trust gained, enabled Tony to save significant time compared to peers who micromanaged. Tony used this time on strategic planning and development of people, enabling them to maximise their potential, including out of his teams or departments. This was unique amongst his peers. Many peers behaved as if the first responsibility of their team was to make ‘them’ look good. This stifled development of their teams. Tony’s teams and departments consistently outperformed their contemporaries.


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