HAVE YOU BEEN knocked down by people or circumstances in and around your life, yet you are still standing? Was your knock down a once-in-your-lifetime experience? Or, have you experienced serial knock down challenges? Either way, if you are still standing you have a treasure within that needs a name and proper recognition. Please say hello to your friend, Resilience.
The ability to spring back from great pressure, or daunting knock downs, lightly describes a quality of resilience. Even more, the capacity to recover in an optimal way from intense difficulties, setbacks, tragedies, and losses further describes the qualities of the resilient person. Consider the life scenario of being knocked down and sacrificed for the self-serving, controlling motives of individuals or circumstances. In the presence of Mr. Self-Serving and Mrs. Control, you will always meet their companion, Aunt Blame. Therefore, someone must wear Auntie’s donkey tails and be condemned to death. So, you are chosen to be tossed in the white-hot, fiery furnace of condemnation.
Yet when your knockdown, drag out sacrificial offering does not resolve your accuser’s challenges (and transport them to the Land of Blissful Living) what must they do? Well, of course, they must take a second look into their fiery furnace of condemnation to ensure that their donkey is properly suffering and dying! Surely after you are dead upon their heap of ashes, every negative consequence of their behavior and the dilemmas of their lives will be made perfect. Oh, but wait: their second look ensures them that you are still standing amidst the ever-raging heat, debris, and ashes of their condemnation!
At this point they can only ask, “What resilient characteristics abide within you that help to protect and enable you to remain standing in the face of life’s knockdown blows?”
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Perhaps it is your higher level of emotional maturity. This would include your ability to think about the bigger picture before you speak and act; especially before you react negatively to irrational behavior and misplaced blame. It also includes your ability to bring rational reasoning and common sense to life’s discussions. As important, it includes your ability to behave with common courtesies, like genuine respect, gentleness, and kindness – truly having the best interests of others at heart. In all, emotional maturity exemplifies self-control, rather than trying to control others.
Perhaps it is your way of choosing right thinking. This would include your settled way of processing your thoughts and feelings; especially the way you are not motivated to preserve and control your position, title, authority, and reputation. It also includes your ability to consider the perspective of everyone involved, especially the long-term behavioral fruit of each voice in the accusatory crowd. As important, it includes your ability to maintain a broad outlook about the self-serving, controlling behavior of others: All is not lost; not everyone behaves in this condemning way! In all, right thinking exemplifies self-control, rather than trying to control others.
Perhaps it is your ability to envision a hope-filled purpose beyond the knock down experiences of life. This would include your ability to maintain a feeling of expectation that great life experiences are still ahead. The knockdown experience did not steal your hope, ambition, goals, and plans. It also includes your ability to allow your inner hopefulness and confidence to speak to the deepest hurt, rejection, turmoil, and despondency. As important, it includes your ability to realize you still have all of you inside of you. Because of this, you have all your potential to do and to be everything you were purposed for before the knockdown experience. In all, your hope-filled purpose exemplifies self-control, rather than trying to control others.[/message][su_spacer]
Through it all, your friend Resilience is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And, when you’ve done all you know to do in serving, helping, and enlightening others – then Resilience helps you to simply stand. At this point, the characteristics of resilience become a tool of sweet silence; allowing for peace, self-reflection, and effective processing. What could you have done better or differently in the matter?
Interestingly, your silence also allows the accusers and attackers an opportunity for reflection. This will be needed because wisdom tells us that their sacrificial offering of your friendship, your help, and your love did not mend their brokenness, nor resolve their core challenges. Therefore, the atmosphere of silence will become a valuable balm unto them. Truly it is far easier to realize the impact of one’s own cruel actions in the atmosphere of silence, than it is to bear the barrage of noise associated with the sacrificial death of a friend. After all, when the sacrificial death occurs there remains little opportunity for resurrection life in the natural. It is usually finished.
In the end of it all, what is the value in trying to control people and situations – unto the death of a valued relationship?
Copyright 2016, Devaney Rae, L.L.C.