Knocked Down, Yet Still Standing

HAVE YOU BEEN knocked down by people or circumstances in and around your life, yet you are still standing? Was your knock down a once-in-your-lifetime experience? Or, have you experienced serial knock down challenges? Either way, if you are still standing you have a treasure within that needs a name and proper recognition. Please say hello to your friend, Resilience.

The ability to spring back from great pressure, or daunting knock downs, lightly describes a quality of resilience. Even more, the capacity to recover in an optimal way from intense difficulties, setbacks, tragedies, and losses further describes the qualities of the resilient person. Consider the life scenario of being knocked down and sacrificed for the self-serving, controlling motives of individuals or circumstances. In the presence of Mr. Self-Serving and Mrs. Control, you will always meet their companion, Aunt Blame. Therefore, someone must wear Auntie’s donkey tails and be condemned to death. So, you are chosen to be tossed in the white-hot, fiery furnace of condemnation.

KnockedDownYetStillStandingYet when your knockdown, drag out sacrificial offering does not resolve your accuser’s challenges (and transport them to the Land of Blissful Living) what must they do? Well, of course, they must take a second look into their fiery furnace of condemnation to ensure that their donkey is properly suffering and dying! Surely after you are dead upon their heap of ashes, every negative consequence of their behavior and the dilemmas of their lives will be made perfect. Oh, but wait: their second look ensures them that you are still standing amidst the ever-raging heat, debris, and ashes of their condemnation!

At this point they can only ask, “What resilient characteristics abide within you that help to protect and enable you to remain standing in the face of life’s knockdown blows?”

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  1. Perhaps it is your higher level of emotional maturity. This would include your ability to think about the bigger picture before you speak and act; especially before you react negatively to irrational behavior and misplaced blame. It also includes your ability to bring rational reasoning and common sense to life’s discussions. As important, it includes your ability to behave with common courtesies, like genuine respect, gentleness, and kindness – truly having the best interests of others at heart. In all, emotional maturity exemplifies self-control, rather than trying to control others.
  1. Perhaps it is your way of choosing right thinking. This would include your settled way of processing your thoughts and feelings; especially the way you are not motivated to preserve and control your position, title, authority, and reputation. It also includes your ability to consider the perspective of everyone involved, especially the long-term behavioral fruit of each voice in the accusatory crowd. As important, it includes your ability to maintain a broad outlook about the self-serving, controlling behavior of others: All is not lost; not everyone behaves in this condemning way! In all, right thinking exemplifies self-control, rather than trying to control others.
  1. Perhaps it is your ability to envision a hope-filled purpose beyond the knock down experiences of life. This would include your ability to maintain a feeling of expectation that great life experiences are still ahead. The knockdown experience did not steal your hope, ambition, goals, and plans. It also includes your ability to allow your inner hopefulness and confidence to speak to the deepest hurt, rejection, turmoil, and despondency. As important, it includes your ability to realize you still have all of you inside of you. Because of this, you have all your potential to do and to be everything you were purposed for before the knockdown experience. In all, your hope-filled purpose exemplifies self-control, rather than trying to control others.[/message][su_spacer]

Through it all, your friend Resilience is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And, when you’ve done all you know to do in serving, helping, and enlightening others – then Resilience helps you to simply stand. At this point, the characteristics of resilience become a tool of sweet silence; allowing for peace, self-reflection, and effective processing. What could you have done better or differently in the matter?

Interestingly, your silence also allows the accusers and attackers an opportunity for reflection. This will be needed because wisdom tells us that their sacrificial offering of your friendship, your help, and your love did not mend their brokenness, nor resolve their core challenges. Therefore, the atmosphere of silence will become a valuable balm unto them. Truly it is far easier to realize the impact of one’s own cruel actions in the atmosphere of silence, than it is to bear the barrage of noise associated with the sacrificial death of a friend. After all, when the sacrificial death occurs there remains little opportunity for resurrection life in the natural. It is usually finished.

In the end of it all, what is the value in trying to control people and situations – unto the death of a valued relationship?

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Copyright 2016, Devaney Rae, L.L.C.


Devaney Rae
Devaney Rae
Devaney’s professional background includes professional Business Development, Leadership, and Life on Purpose Coaching, along with Instructional Design Technology consulting for Training & Presentation Design. Devaney also provides professional consulting within Organizational/ Performance Management for business owners and decision-makers. Devaney also established Life On Purpose with Devaney Rae in early 2018 as a way to connect with others who want to Get From Where You Are Now To Where You Want to Be. This effort connects people with professional coaching and a variety of resources to establish business growth that includes learning to create and manage multiple streams of income. Devaney works one-on-one and in small groups with people to create their own Life Purpose Plan and to develop the correct Business Strategy for Growth. Then, she helps them bring the plan to life so each one can step into their ownMORE! She has enjoyed a successful career in Healthcare Administration, Chemical Manufacturing, Retail Sales, Marketing, and within the Non-Profit Business sectors. Devaney earned her Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Walden University and her Master’s degree in Instructional Design Technology for Professional Trainers from New York Institute of Technology. She also earned a degree in Dental Hygiene with license to practice in Texas and Louisiana. Devaney is a published author of the book, Countless Joys: The Place Beyond Tears (Westbow Press, 2015). The content is her story about how ordinary people are called to do “the extraordinary” in life. She has a passion for impacting others with life-giving hope, joy, and peace. Devaney established a non-profit organization, Countless Joys, Inc. in 2015. The mission of Countless Joys, Inc. is to Touch the Lives of Others with Joy. The specific focus is on Interrupting Human Trafficking of children and teenagers. Altogether, giving back to others is Devaney’s personal life mission and joy. Devaney makes her home in Franklin, Tennessee.

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  1. OMG Devaney, you were describing many family units when you wrote, “In the presence of Mr. Self-Serving and Mrs. Control, you will always meet their companion, Aunt Blame. Therefore, someone must wear Auntie’s donkey tails and be condemned to death. So, you are chosen to be tossed in the white-hot, fiery furnace of condemnation.” Yes, Resilience is necessary to survive life, even family life. Fortunately, my knock-down came from health and not family, although I’m sure there is often a connection. I had to stand in my power when dealing with doctors who kept telling me I was healthy and to go home when in fact I had breast cancer they were missing, three times. Yes, there were times I had to tie on my boxing gloves, be boastful, and remind myself that I would live. Resilience is a winner!

    • Wow, Kathleen! What an overcoming story of resilience… and so much MORE! I am thankful for your strength and endurance. And, your resonating comments mean the world, too! Not that I ever would want anyone to endure the scenarios associated with the dynamics I wrote about in this article; but, they occur oh, so often! It’s kind of like other life scenarios that are rarely talked about, but often experienced by many. We are better together and when we are behaving authentically. We each have some “ugly” in our relationship dynamics. 🙂 Best to YOU!

  2. I had to face many challenges. You can not get to the top of a complex structure without having to deal with it. And certainly resilience is a necessary gift.
    But there was a time when someone in whom I had placed the utmost trust that struck me behind and gave rise to doubts about my integrity. And then, I do not know frankly what force really helped me, the resilience or something, but I fought like a lion because in life I could also accept not to be judged to a task, but nobody, I say nobody, would have never , or could, doubt my moral integrity. In the end, those who had doubted me had to apologize and valued me more.

    • Thank you, again, Raissa, for your comments. It is such affirmation that none of us really walk alone in our life experiences, if we will share with others. I will take a moment to read your article. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  3. I’m not sure if I can say I bounce back, but years of experience have given me resilience. I didn’t really think about it before, but now that you point out that being courteous, having hope, and making sure I have a good thought life, I have a better idea. I’l have to remember your definition, “that characteristics of resilience become a tool of sweet silence; allowing for peace, self-reflection, and effective processing.”