It Was The Worst Day That Wasn’t Supposed To Be

Vantage Points Header Joel ElvesonFROM ALL ACCOUNTS it seemed this was going to be a regular Friday replete with the usual hurriedness of this day in order to get everything ready for the special evening of the week. First came the news that there were three warm winter coats waiting to be picked which were so desperately needed. But wait what about shopping? Both members of the family would need to go on this trip to manage the transporting of the coats and groceries.

Just prior to embarking on our trip the announcement that the house in which our cozy, comfortable apartment was located which had been our home for five years would be formally sold within days. We became immediately overcome with anxiety and the fear of the unknown.

Who are these new people that will be the new owners? How will they receive us? Uncontrollable thoughts of they’re going to put us on the street, they’re going to put us on the street engulfed me. What are we going to do? What are we going to do? Anger fueled by tension was just starting to boil.

First there was the coats to be picked up. What a lovely person the donator was. A smiling face with an ever so welcoming personality. An offer was made to come in for some cold drinks but there was no time for that since we had to rush down several avenues along with a few streets to get to where the store we planned to shop in was located.

On any given day this store would tend to be crowded but even more so on Fridays as many families were buying groceries for that nights special dinner in their homes. For some reason the store was jam packed with what seemed to be wall to wall people more so any Friday I can remember. Barely room to move making it nearly impossible to get to the items on the shelves that were needed.

What were we going to buy? We forgot to make out a shopping list! Yes, we were going to buy a couple of jars of fish and a couple of bottles of soda along with a small cake. Next thing we knew I had gone around buying extra snack cakes for some unknown reason. Then there was the potato chips which after all I kept buying what I wanted without thinking about the person with me that prompted the purchase of those items by the other person. Somebody had to stand on line to pay while the other stood outside with the cart that the coats were in. Wait! I’m in the mood for some fruit. There were these great looking oranges that were not cheap. The price per orange did not register in my head. Next thing I knew I had spent over $5 for oranges.

Once all the shopping was done there was the rush to get down the block to get to the train station. With my bad back (a fracture from seven years ago that never healed) who was going to drag the cart up the steps to the platform. Before that how do we get the cart under the turnstiles? It took a team effort but we managed (minus our breath) to get the cart onto the platform. The train pulls in and there were no seats. What a nightmare of a ride this was going to be even though it was just for few stops.

Finally we arrived home and unpacked the bags with the groceries in it. I put the coats on a chair and somehow forgot what they were or how they got there. Then the realization hit that we went over budget. What about the money for the laundry? What about the money for food for the rest of the week? What about? What about? What about everything as we are in a crises right now!

One person sits down at the computer to return to some unfinished work while the other person frantically began to prepare dinner as the hour was getting late. The person doing the preparing became infuriated as it was felt all the pressure had been put on her. Where is the help with getting dinner together? You always need help came the yell from the person at the computer.

More angry words followed as did the odd flying object. Mutual threats of this or that were exchanged as was all the names you should not call each other. The person in the living room having become inflamed by the yelling became defiant in that he would not do the religious rituals that night. If the other person wanted to hear them she would have to eat upstairs. Ultimately each of us ate in different places.

Who started this fight? You started it with your selfishness as you only buy what you wanted and because of that the money was used up. Yeah, but how many times did you “bungle” the shopping where you came home with bags and bags but no meat for meals. You don’t do anything around here! And what do you do I was demanded to answer. More than you was my response. There was seemingly no way to deescalate this fight.

The next afternoon things were decidedly quieter but tension filled the air as neither part had much to say to other one nor cared to. By midafternoon I walked down to the water to sit on a bench just to collect my thoughts. There were plenty of places to sit as the “bay” was eerily devoid of many people but I just could not relax. After while I started to drag myself home as my back was killing me.

Shortly after I arrived home she went upstairs to where she had eaten the previous night. Saturday night ended in the traditional manner but still ripe with tension. There were some issues discussed by no apology was offered by either side.

I took on the task of cleaning up the dishes and putting things away afterward. Time ticked on to hour whereupon it was time to go to sleep. Despite my walk I could not sleep. I took a sleeping pill and finally dozed off around 4:30am.

Sunday it was as if nothing had ever happened save for the anxiety of needing a new place and not being able to find one in our budget or one that allow us to keep “my baby” that I will not put up for adoption as she has become too important to me in many ways. With everything that was going on she had no reaction to anything. I guess she knew just to leave things as they are.

Looking back it was by far the worst day that wasn’t supposed to be that way yet it was. Deep within each of us scars remain that need to heal. The big test will come later this week when the new owners are revealed and goodbyes are said. It didn’t have to be this way! How do we survive the next challenges that are too come?


Joel Elveson
Joel Elveson
INDEPENDENT Executive Recruiting By Joel is an "up and coming" Executive Search Firm formed and headed up by Joel Elveson whose visionary ideas, leadership & creativity have brought to life a more "user-friendly" approach to recruiting. His clients and candidates form powerful strategic partnerships that we use to help you. Joel’s Firm offers Permanent, Temporary (case by case), & Temporary To Permanent staffing solutions for all of your Human Capital Requirements. Contract IT/Consultants are available if needed. Above and beyond they are experts (by way of their personal industry work experience) with mortgage, mortgage banking, middle-market banking, accounting, along with many others under the vast financial spectrum of disciplines. Their business goes beyond candidate recruiting as they also train, mentor and develop your internal recruiting staff with an eye towards helping you reduce the cost of hiring. They will also work in areas such as compensation, effective onboarding processes and alike. In other words, their business is to help your business by becoming an extension of you by filling in gaps that cause delay or waste. The recruiting methods employed by Joel’s team are time tested that results in a high rate of successful placements. Joel was trained in the art of recruiting by some of the top staffing industry executives in addition to the best recruiter trainers who to this day drive me to exceed the lofty goals he has set forth.

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    • Thank you, Larry. I wish I could create more of this kind of articles but I am experimenting these days. I am going to write a short story by Sunday. Your support means so much. Thank you by the way for introducing me to Johnny.

  1. Felt the tension. What these two don’t know is what makes the other happy. I would tell them both that stress can kill a relationship and if they love one another they should drop everything, go to the bookstore and buy a very short book by the name of The Five Love Languages then sit down together and read it. Moving is one thing but saving your marriage is a whole other ballgame. It will be eye opening and that comes from personal experience. Keep writing because this story felt real to me and that’s what writing is all about.

    • Johnny, THANK YOU! I always hope my writing will cause people to feel something or just to think. So much the better if they like the article and send along a comment.