Alright, I think the time has come to clarify a topic I’m frequently talking about without getting a chance to go into details. So, the topic is:
Fear and Love cannot coexist in the same place, exactly like Day and Night.
This could be a bit confusing; I hear you guys. One might tell me: That’s bullshit, Myriam! I love my mother AND I’m afraid of taking the airplane. I love my cat AND I’m afraid of being in an elevator. I love my car AND I’m afraid of swimming, etc. Well, that’s completely understandable! But here is the point: I’m talking about the same thing or person. Here is what I mean through some samples:
Relationship with parents
If we are afraid of our parents, do we truly love them? Probably not… What are we feeling then toward them? Attachment. We are attached to:
- Their presence in our life.
- The attention & affection they could provide us with.
- Belonging to a family through them.
- The idea of making them proud of us and to be validated.
- Them supporting us and having our back in times of crisis.
Does this mean we can be in a situation where we don’t feel anything toward our own parents?
Absolutely, and this isn’t even the worst-case scenario (since we can also hate them, but I will leave this to another time if you don’t mind. When can we be completely ‘emotionless’? In case they’re not providing anything we can be “attached to”, but without hurting us…
Relationship with religions
So, when we are afraid of God’s punishment, do you feel like we could also be in love with our Divinity? I would be reluctant to the idea… So what is the nature of the feeling? Again, attachment yes; you guessed right! We’re rather attached to:
- God’s help; what the divinity is willing to put on the table.
- Being recognized as a religious person (sometimes wrongly associated with being a good one).
- Belonging to the religious community.
- Being ultimately rewarded for having been obedient.
Now, do you feel like there is some common detail between those two samples? Let me help you: the small self; the “ego”; the manifestation of our disconnection from our inner child, our very core part, the ‘Universal Correct Principles’. So here we come to my best part:
Fear exists only when we are not yet fully loving ourselves.
Ego is the enemy of self-love. Think of it as a horizontal line where you have the ego on the left and the self-love on the right. People who are on the extreme left side are the most f*cked up, the most dangerous psychopaths, the ones who are completely disconnected from their inner world. The ones who are on the extreme right side are DIVINE (not sure whether someone has already reached this level, but I keep hoping!). In between, we will find people closer to darkness (ego) and others closer to brightness (self-love).
The subconscious program and the hostility of our life experiences determine our position in the continuum.
Imagine a needle now. The more we become self-aware, show bravery, work on re-writing our distorted subconscious program, the more this needle moves from the left to the right.
What does this mean?
The direct outcome of such a self-development serious journey is gradually reconnecting with our core part, killing our insecurities and shame shields we’ve built, and most importantly releasing genuine love first for ourselves, and second for others and the Universe!
You could be tempted to ask about how to become self-aware, and this would be a legitimate question. So, let’s first start from the beginning! What is the definition of the word ‘self-awareness’? Self-awareness is a unique human endowment that gives us the possibility to think about our very thought process. Now, why is that so difficult to make use of this self-awareness? Simply because the conscious mind responsible for self-awareness is too slow comparing to the subconscious mind.
Let me give you an idea: the conscious mind operates at 40 bits per sec, while the subconscious mind speed reaches 40 MILLION bits per sec. No — your eyes are not playing tricks on you! This, according to some serious studies, is leading to operating from our subconscious program — or what some of you are probably familiar with calling on auto-pilot mode at, at least, 90% of our day. And, this is not even the only constraint; can you believe it? “That sucks!” Yeah, that was what I told myself when discovering it as well! So, the second big constraint is how both minds are learning: while the conscious mind is creative, the subconscious mind is habitual.
A quick sample of this could be when we all learned the alphabet. We repeated it again and again…and again until we could finally memorize it! If somebody asks us like now to say it, we will do it automatically without making any single effort.
What is that supposed to mean? Well, simply that we gotta make of the self-awareness exercise a daily habit.
Here, you might wanna ask another question. How can I fight the speed constraint, get out of my anxious mind, and have access to this flow state where I can really be self-aware in the first place? Well, you’ll need to help yourself with some meditation in the very beginning. Slowly but surely, you will develop the ability to analyze your thoughts & behaviors and how much they are aligned with the ‘Universal Correct Principles’ naturally in no time. If this isn’t amazing!
I’m leaving it to you to decide whether it is worth it.