Is There A Link Between Fear And Love?

Alright, I think the time has come to clarify a topic I’m frequently talking about without getting a chance to go into details. So, the topic is:

Fear and Love cannot coexist in the same place, exactly like Day and Night.

Relationship with parents

If we are afraid of our parents, do we truly love them? Probably not… What are we feeling then toward them? Attachment. We are attached to:

  • The attention & affection they could provide us with.
  • Belonging to a family through them.
  • The idea of making them proud of us and to be validated.
  • Them supporting us and having our back in times of crisis.

Relationship with religions

So, when we are afraid of God’s punishment, do you feel like we could also be in love with our Divinity? I would be reluctant to the idea… So what is the nature of the feeling? Again, attachment yes; you guessed right! We’re rather attached to:

  • Being recognized as a religious person (sometimes wrongly associated with being a good one).
  • Belonging to the religious community.
  • Being ultimately rewarded for having been obedient.

Fear exists only when we are not yet fully loving ourselves.

Ego is the enemy of self-love. Think of it as a horizontal line where you have the ego on the left and the self-love on the right. People who are on the extreme left side are the most f*cked up, the most dangerous psychopaths, the ones who are completely disconnected from their inner world. The ones who are on the extreme right side are DIVINE (not sure whether someone has already reached this level, but I keep hoping!). In between, we will find people closer to darkness (ego) and others closer to brightness (self-love).

The subconscious program and the hostility of our life experiences determine our position in the continuum.

Imagine a needle now. The more we become self-aware, show bravery, work on re-writing our distorted subconscious program, the more this needle moves from the left to the right.

What does this mean?

The direct outcome of such a self-development serious journey is gradually reconnecting with our core part, killing our insecurities and shame shields we’ve built, and most importantly releasing genuine love first for ourselves, and second for others and the Universe!

You could be tempted to ask about how to become self-aware, and this would be a legitimate question. So, let’s first start from the beginning! What is the definition of the word ‘self-awareness’? Self-awareness is a unique human endowment that gives us the possibility to think about our very thought process. Now, why is that so difficult to make use of this self-awareness? Simply because the conscious mind responsible for self-awareness is too slow comparing to the subconscious mind.

Let me give you an idea: the conscious mind operates at 40 bits per sec, while the subconscious mind speed reaches 40 MILLION bits per sec. No — your eyes are not playing tricks on you! This, according to some serious studies, is leading to operating from our subconscious program — or what some of you are probably familiar with calling on auto-pilot mode at, at least, 90% of our day. And, this is not even the only constraint; can you believe it? “That sucks!” Yeah, that was what I told myself when discovering it as well! So, the second big constraint is how both minds are learning: while the conscious mind is creative, the subconscious mind is habitual.

A quick sample of this could be when we all learned the alphabet. We repeated it again and again…and again until we could finally memorize it! If somebody asks us like now to say it, we will do it automatically without making any single effort.

What is that supposed to mean? Well, simply that we gotta make of the self-awareness exercise a daily habit.

Here, you might wanna ask another question. How can I fight the speed constraint, get out of my anxious mind, and have access to this flow state where I can really be self-aware in the first place? Well, you’ll need to help yourself with some meditation in the very beginning. Slowly but surely, you will develop the ability to analyze your thoughts & behaviors and how much they are aligned with the ‘Universal Correct Principles’ naturally in no time. If this isn’t amazing!

I’m leaving it to you to decide whether it is worth it.


Myriam Ben Salem
Myriam Ben Salem was born in Tunisia, a small country in North Africa. Myriam did pretty much everything earlier than the average: walking, talking, singing, dancing. Promoted throughout her entire education, Myriam was also the leader of every end-of-year party. Myriam is a mentor with a deep passion for helping others grow and find their own internal truths to reframe their lives. She spent 9 years working at a high level of consultancy and management in the Information Technology, Human Resources, and Research sectors, only to realize that perfectionism and pressure were damaging herself and those around her. After three burnouts and an existential crisis, she dramatically embarked on a painful journey to reinvent herself from within. Now she guides organizations as well as people in redefining the most integral aspects of internal value, truth, and care, promoting a daring greatly culture and re-humanizing their personal life through stories, play, laughter, and thought-provoking discussions to create real and permanent change. Myriam is deeply passionate about everything life has to offer. She educates through any possible means including writing – a discovered skill emerging naturally during the transformational journey -- on the importance of reconnecting with our common birth’s gifts making of all of us seeds of greatness only numbed by the life-time conditioning. She is guided by the fundamental universal correct principles or what is also known as our spirit, our conscience and the manifestation of our 4th and most important form of intelligence: the spiritual one! Reconnecting with her principles Center was what truly helped her on her path of moving from ego to self-love, in promoting continuous learning, and acquiring the humility to discover a calling: a higher mission than her small self. She is described as vivacious, confident, compassionate, authentic, funny, warrior, vulnerable, grateful, bold, mature, showing integrity with an abundance mentality, and always seeking the best way forward for herself and every person she interacts with.


  1. Heyyy dear Mac! Thanks for stopping by, and for sharing your valuable insights! And, yes I do agree with what you’re stipulating when it comes to the big picture! ☺️

    That’s specifically why there is a vertical line and a needle going from the left (100% sick ego | fear) to the right (100% healthy ego | love).

    The coexistence concept was rather meant to confuse the audience a bit — which I might have succeeded in doing– before taking care of explaining myself through the samples (our relationship with our caregivers and what we believe in spiritually).

    Btw, Sapiens was the last book I read! So yes, I have an idea about our ancestors and need to admit I don’t like what I discovered!

    But that’s why I love to believe we’re currently living in the enlightnment emerging era where we finally start to recognize the power of the pineal gland making of those who allow themselves to listen to the call way more evolved than our purely physical ancestors. This was an interesting source about the topic:

  2. Thanks, Myriam.
    We’re confluent rather than congruent, I think. I think fear and love can cohabit the same stream, as it were. As we progress and re-program, the second dominates and yet there is a basal program about fear that persists. For most of the human story, we’ve been hunters and gatherers but also prey animals. Maybe we can evolve into pray animals, but that takes time and enough love to forgive ourselves. Here’s a snack for thought:
    Be good. And well.