Is Life for, or Against, You?

Do you believe that life is for you, or against you?

Most of us believe that some larger force, one that is mostly out of our control, is running the show, and it’s up to us to respond in ways that keep us safe and in good favor with that force. Many of us have had this experience through our religion with an angry/judgmental God that needs us to behave a certain way here in this “hell” on earth, in order to earn our way into heaven later. Others learned as children that it was our parents who had the power over us, and that as adults anyone in authority has the same control over our lives. Some of us learned that we are here playing out our Karma so we can stop coming back, life after life, once our contracts are complete. Many have learned that we evolved from single-cell organisms and life is about “survival of the fittest.” Regardless of the founding belief, in the end, most of us were left thinking that life is AGAINST YOU.

What if this wasn’t true? What if life was FOR YOU, not against you? What if everything happening in our lives was aimed at evolving into who we are destined to become—awake, loving, present, compassionate beings that experience the unity in all life?

When we go through life with the belief that what happens to us is against us, we create a huge amount of resistance to the good-feeling experiences available in our lives. We judge situations as right or wrong, good or bad, to give ourselves a sense of being in control. Watching the news is a great way to collect evidence that life is “against us.” Reacting to a loss in our lives as “bad” or “wrong” confirms that life is against us. When we expect life to be against us, we tell the quantum field to return more “against us” experiences. Is that what we really want to continue to recreate in our lives?

Getting fired with only one week’s notice was a big concern for a very dear friend of mine. As a single mom, she didn’t know how she would pay her bills, support her son, or get her own business off the ground after she had spent over a year supporting the employer that just let her go. At first, she felt that life was against her, and this was just more proof around her old limiting belief of not being good enough. Based on her viewpoint, if she had been enough, they wouldn’t have fired her!

As she allowed her fear and anger to come up, and as she responsibly expressed these feelings, she decided to take a different approach. She began to consider that getting fired was for her—not against her. It helped her challenge and change her old belief about not being enough into realizing she is perfect just the way she is. As she started looking at the situation from this viewpoint, new insight and possibilities occurred to her. She even got to the point of thanking the company who fired her, since it helped her change her old limiting belief, and freed her up to do what she is most passionate about. She now has clients lining up for her support, she can work fewer days and make the same amount of money while spending more time with her son. Getting fired was actually FOR HER, not against her.

What are you willing to see as “for you” today?


Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
WENDY is passionate about enabling individuals, organizations and communities to value themselves and each other in the ongoing process of change. Wendy has guided hundreds of individuals and over 750+ public and private sector organizations to achieve tangible increases in impact and performance. Her successful practice in mentoring and coaching has led to authorship of the book, ‘Live a Life You Love and Make a Living Doing It’. Over the last 30 years, Wendy’s skills have been honed in leadership roles at MTV Networks, The Rensselaerville Institute, and a variety of community based projects in her town. In 2015 she launched BeliefWorks and offers Belief Coaching as a way to address the root cause of what limits the results we can achieve both personally and professionally. This is an 'upstream' solution to change. Instead of changing limiting behavior, she focuses on changing the limiting beliefs that drive that behavior. In all cases, her clients and partners speak to the specific increases in achievement that her consulting, coaching and partnership roles make possible.

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  1. Sometimes things go so badly that it almost seems to be destined this way. But this is a false image that we create in our mind, a prejudice that prevents us from continuing to try until we reach victory. This is the attitude of those who wait for things to happen and then maybe try to react, while things have to happen. This makes a difference between one who suffers and one who creates.
    It can happen in life to feel defeated, but we have the inner resources to understand why we have been defeated and in what we must improve and start again, more intelligently. It is an opportunity to become even stronger.