I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with this one?!?
Well, here’s the thing. We started something a long time ago called “family night.” Nothing fancy, just a regular gathering for dinner and activities that would ensure some amount of quality time with our daughters and their friends. Fast forward a dozen years or so, and I find myself at dinner with two young ladies in tears… and I realize that I’m feeling good about it.
Now, I should point out that these two young ladies are not my daughters. They are, however, “family night” regulars. Both started coming to our Sunday night gatherings with our oldest daughter while she still lived in the area. The thing is, they kept coming long after my daughter left for Chicago and later; Sydney – and that was more than six years ago. What I was learning on this memorable evening, was why they kept coming and are still coming to this day.
All these years, I had been so focused on how lucky I felt to spend time each week with such wonderful young adults that I was pretty much clueless as to what it meant to them. I figured they came mainly for the free home-cooked meal and lots of leftovers – I always cook way more than is needed. What I learned through their tears was that, while they appreciated the food, what they loved was the time we spent together talking, laughing, playing and sharing. They loved feeling valued and connected. They loved that someone listened and cared.
I wish I had the words to tell you how this made me feel. I know it’s something I will never forget. It serves as a great reminder to me of how often we must underestimate the impact of our actions and words.
Whether the words we share are kind or harsh, whether we are listening with our hearts or allowing our minds to wander as someone shares something (perhaps of great importance to them) we are having an impact on others.
So, go ahead – make someone cry. But do so because you cared more than expected, listened when and how it was needed and gave without asking anything in return. And then; give a great big hug!
Oops… looks like I wasn’t logged in when I responded to your comment, Jane. Thank you again for taking the time to respond and for sharing your mantra. Love it.
Ric
That is a beautiful story. Everyone should be able to have a family night like that!
Thank you, Jane. I believe the world would be a much safer, more peaceful and caring place if we all found a way to invest a little of ourselves in relationships with those around us. Listening, caring…just being there. That’s all it takes.
Ric
Your thoughts are close to one of my mantras. Be wholly present in your moments because they become your memories.