Introducing “and” to your vocabulary can empower you, make you more effective, and allow you to be happier.
How many times have you had conflicting thoughts around an issue?
I love that the weather is nicer now, but I hate I’m trapped inside working all day.
I enjoy my work, but I dislike some of my coworkers.
I don’t enjoy my work, but I know it is important.
I feel like I’m working hard, but I never seem to catch up.
How does each statement make you feel? Are you left with resignation? Does it seem final? By using “but,” you essentially negate half your feelings. It doesn’t feel good, does it?
What happens when you replace the “but” with “and” to acknowledge both points of view?
I love that the weather is nicer now, and I hate I’m trapped inside working all day.
I enjoy my work, and I dislike some of my coworkers.
I don’t enjoy my work, and I know it is important.
I feel like I’m working hard, and I never seem to catch up.
Does it feel any different to you? For me, it feels like the conversation can continue. It gives me permission to feel what, at first glance, appears to be two diametrically opposed points of view.
Our complex views can leave us feeling as if we are in a tug of war with ourselves. Maybe, it would be helpful to envision those feelings and opinions on a seesaw. One side can weigh more, and they can both still be true.
Using “and” can lead to questions and insights.
I love that the weather is nicer now, and I hate I’m trapped inside working all day. Are there ways I can be outside more often during my workday? How can I make sure I set aside time on the weekend to actually be outside?
READ MORE AT WOMEN’S VOICES MAGAZINE
I think this approach to communication AND thinking is extremely important during this stressful political time in order to heal this nation. I am really distressed and worried about the political environment in this nation right now AND I know that the ugliness of these events is waking up the citizens and creating awareness and active participation, giving me hope.
I like your approach AND I can see them benefits of using this tiny word to improve perspective.
That should say “the benefits” not “them”.