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Into the Light – Dying to Know the Truth

False Hopes

I told my adoptive parents, my friends, my teachers, and even went to the preachers just off campus to find out how they would respond to such an experience. I figured if it was so real, then there would have to be some correlation somewhere. Instead of answers or intelligent discussion, I got dismissed out of hand, ostracized, and sent to a psychiatrist by my parents. The latter turned out to be a Godsend, a solid port on the ocean of emotion.

My exuberance in sharing my story was the beginning of what the field of psychology and more specifically psychiatry calls the ‘messianic complex.’ I felt like I had all the answers and needed to share them with the world, even though ‘the answers’ really didn’t make sense to anyone, me included once I returned to the external world. There was no ‘how to’ included in the experience.

It was a most unhealthy and unappreciated place to be for the aspirant of divine guidance who wishes to remain free of attachments, but can only express from a child-like place at that time. Okay, so there are no veils and I don’t need to be ‘The One.’ How do I proceed and what do I need to do to prepare? What questions one so deep? Are there answers?

Fortunately, the shrink had some sense beyond the common and was able to help me coagulate the possibilities. After a few visits, he confided in me that I wasn’t crazy and that I had all the signs of a ‘spiritual awakening,’ although he offered that most people don’t experience it until their mid-40s if they ever do. He was intrigued by the fact I was only 18. We discussed some of the considerations I’d had during the process, coupled with my desire to find purpose in life and fueled by the desire to find a deeper connection to ‘family’ due to the deeper emptiness I still felt from being adopted.

As if to offer some solace, he asked me to follow him upstairs. I did. As he opened a door at the top of the stairs that revealed a room full of ‘metaphysical’ books, posters and ‘tools’ (a tarot deck on a card table just inside the door) my heart center just exploded. It literally felt like a huge pulse expanded throughout my entire body. I gave him a deeply puzzled look, I’m sure.

We had a short discussion about the tarot cards and he asked if I’d ever had a ‘reading.’ I had not, but was curious, so we sat down at the table and he demonstrated the technique. It brought out much more than I had told him and seemed to validate the entire experience. It left me with more questions about how things could be so connected beyond a shared conversation that hadn’t yielded any of the points previously.

I could tell he was really working to find the right words to share. He spoke of ancient archetypes manifesting in my life and leading me toward something magnificent, apparently. After a few moments, he admitted that I must have something going on even beyond what he could determine. He related that from our discussions he knew I was quite brilliant and completely sane, but he advised me to keep my mouth shut for a time until I got older; it was likely no one would listen, let alone understand. Over the years I’ve found the challenge is to make sense common.

So what’s next? Often the messenger gets hung up on the message and becomes its icon rather than a simple conduit of information. I was no different. I had a big mouth and wasn’t able to keep the experience to myself. I was more curious about what others thought than what it all meant at the time. I didn’t have the emotional or experiential maturation to understand its future implications. The questions of ‘How?’ and ‘What do I need to do to prepare?’ eventually landed squarely in the center of my consciousness.

Renewed Hope

Since that time, I’ve observed that identity is really of no consequence in the delivery of new information or clarification of the mysterious in order for the ‘magic’ of life to become present.

Too often identity, assumed or projected, simply gets in the way. There are no boxes large enough to contain the non-linear or multidimensional life we are destined to live.

Our minds want to categorize and label instead of just listening and observing. Telling is not training, I’ve heard so often as I’ve worked in corporate training and development. It’s all chatter that does absolutely no good when ‘stillness’ is the message. We engage the ‘do and have’ in life without the core of ‘being’ that ignites the union of spirit and matter; religion – reunion with God. It is about the One manifesting in the Many. The takes the Messianic Complex to a whole new level.

One of the considerations about the ‘event’ and the points of light is the awareness that everything is connected. How might that play out? Perhaps those points of light were also engaged in the event somehow, unbeknownst to me. Fractals of an event wouldn’t have to be experienced in the same fashion, yet still, have a profound effect. The ‘message’ of facilitating a New World Order with them would surely include their awareness, too.

Spontaneous and sporadic events, subtle indications of a connection to someone on the physical plane, are hard to determine let alone engage in a productive way. It seems the journey is still most challenging to find a perfect form, fit and function in the world. By all indications, we have a specific design within the scheme of cosmic consciousness condensing into form. Just what that is unfolds as we peer deeper into the emerging science of particle physics, perhaps.

We get caught up in the chatter and think ourselves separate. We allow those who instruct us to continue the lie that we are separate from creation or each other and need to give our power to someone else as our intercessor. In my continued studies, I’ve found that to be the opposite of what was intended. It is most profoundly revealed in the translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls where the statement, “Don’t you know that you are god as I am god,” is made.

At our core, we have a direct connect, but we have to be very still, even silent, to hear the voice of BEing within. It is provoked by profound questions. This is an extreme challenge beyond any extreme sport today, as distractions and interruptions are present everywhere and vie for our attention at every moment. The Information Age and the rapidity of getting our needs met, satiating our senses, have spoiled us to a great degree. Stillness is for Zen masters.

We’ve grown to understand the effects of our actions on the environment and are striving to change our consumer and manufacturing habits. The idea of ‘reduce, reuse, and recycle’ is gaining more attention and relevance as we understand the nature of unbridled self-indulgence and a capitalistic consumer-driven economy of our own making. But what of the material? Non-linear thinking, quantum entanglement, or ‘spooky stuff at a distance’ (Einstein) brings us to new levels of understanding of how our thoughts/feelings affect reality.

More coming in Part II

Zen Benefiel
Zen Benefielhttp://zenbenefiel.com/
Zen says his life has been spiced with personal and professional opportunities that came through his nurturing of faith, love, and trust that dreams do come true. What built that faith, love, and trust began as an orphan told of his adoption just after his 4th birthday. The spice continued with experiences that span the gamut of the paranormal and include off-planet engagements over a lifetime. Can you say outlier? With two Master’s degrees and multiple certifications as well as an interesting professional history (ZenBenefiel.com) his passion turned to transformational life coaching just after the turn of the century, having become a rather astute cognitive scientist with extraordinary insight and intuition, he transformed Be The Dream (founded in 1988) from the intention of bridging best business and spiritual practices to a reality that has served hundreds. A decade and a half of writing was filled with cathartic wonders. His gifts are useful for Team Partnering as well, facilitating people, places, and things to build mega-structures with pre-construction teambuilding sessions. Divorced with four children, 9 grandkids, and 2 great-grandsons, he remarried after 30 years. Luba is from St. Petersburg, Russia, and their meeting, both agree, was a cosmic conspiracy of destiny, spiritual compatibility, and future vision of a newly ordered world in harmony with natural order. After 47 years of preparation, and stepping into what feels like fulfilling destiny, he recently became the Executive Director of the Live and Let Live Global Peace Movement that is inspiring the world now.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Thanks for commenting, Eva. We all have different types of experiences that lead us to our perfected form, fit and function in the world, Eva. That we are open and have them is all important. As bizarre, unique and weird as they may be, they are undeniable experiences that lead us toward a greater understanding. The next installment of the story is up here: https://www.bizcatalyst360.com/messy-antics-the-call-and-response-part-2

    The full version as a one-stop read is here: https://zenbenefiel.com/messy-antics-call-and-response/

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