Interdependence: Where the Best Performance and Relationships Happen

If you want to walk fast, walk alone. If you want to walk far, go together.

~African proverb

In our three previous blogs, we introduced you to the Hero, the Victim, and the Player. These personas represent the three places, Independence, Dependence, and Codependence, on the Strategic Interdependence Model® that form the toxic triangle. At these places, you are triggered to frustration and unable to see clearly as you myopically focus on serving your needs. What’s more, you disconnect from the resources you do have, your strengths, your intelligence, and other people. This can leave you feeling weak, judgmental of self and others, and in a state of low energy and low performance.

What can you do to shift up out of the toxicity you are experiencing when in any of these places?

We introduce you to the Synergizer.

The Synergizer’s theme is “I serve us, so we can serve others”. The Synergizer lives from a truly human place of Confident Vulnerability®. As a Synergizer, you know what you are, you know what you are not, and you are okay with both. You confidently choose to bring your puzzle piece, your unique contributions, and welcome others to do the same as you work with others to create better results and relationships. You let go of judgment of self or others as you model interdependence by creating an environment of acceptance and appreciation for others’ uniqueness, inviting them to choose to be in interdependence with you and others. The Synergizer brings both confidence and vulnerability to create high-energy and performance for self and others.

As the Synergizer, you live from a place of unconditional curiosity. You acknowledge the fear and redirect or reframe it in an empowering, mature way that allows you to embrace the learning it offers. You have no fear of loss, and you think from a mindset of abundance and possibilities. You are also brutally honest with yourself, and in the spirit of unconditional acceptance of self (and others), you tell on yourself when you are not sure, when you don’t know or when you are not able.

Your energy is about us, you and me, and how much better we are together! The greater good and the interest of ALL stakeholders is your first and main focus.

You are resourceful, able to skillfully pause, and reflect on what you, others and the situation needs. You then bring your strengths and invite others to bring theirs to meet those needs so you can create better results and relationships together. This is the place of optimal performance and deep fulfillment.

What if you had the strategies and tools to shift up out of toxicity so you could create better results and relationships for yourself and others? How would your life be different if you lived more often from Confident Vulnerability®? What would that look like for you?


Brian Kelly
Brian Kelly
Brian Kelly is a visionary connector, community-builder and human development specialist who helps people and teams unleash their human greatness so they can create better together. Brian believes in each person’s unique human greatness and the power of harnessing this to amplify impact for teams, communities, and organizations. Brian is an ICF Accredited Coach whose three-decade career spans business, technology, finance, and human development. He is co-author of the book Becoming You to be released later this year. Brian’s encouraging energy and relational and strategic approach invite the inclusive business leaders and teams he works with to expand their perspective to strengthen their belief and their ability to create better together. Brian works with clients to understand the conditions that create greater contributions, fulfillment, and success and then works with them, using proven frameworks, to help them create those conditions through the lens of their strengths. The results are greater self-awareness, confidence, connection, teamwork, creativity and innovation producing better human and business results. Brian is the host of the We Can Do Better Conversations series, which invite inclusive conversations on topics relevant to bringing greater humanity to our workplaces, communities, families, and relationships. Brian serves on the Executive Board for Overcoming Odds where he helped the Executive Director with board development, strategic business planning and expanding the reach and impact of the nonprofit’s mission. Brian has also served on the Washington DC metro area chapter Board for several culturally-based National nonprofits focused on professional and leadership development.

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  1. Thank you, Kimberly! So excited to continue to create better together alongside you. I find what most people miss in the “I serve us so that we can serve others” is that I am part of US, and caring for myself first so that I can be my best for myself AND others becomes such a wonderful and expansive opportunity for each of us!