If you want to walk fast, walk alone. If you want to walk far, go together.
~African proverb
In our three previous blogs, we introduced you to the Hero, the Victim, and the Player. These personas represent the three places, Independence, Dependence, and Codependence, on the Strategic Interdependence Model® that form the toxic triangle. At these places, you are triggered to frustration and unable to see clearly as you myopically focus on serving your needs. What’s more, you disconnect from the resources you do have, your strengths, your intelligence, and other people. This can leave you feeling weak, judgmental of self and others, and in a state of low energy and low performance.
What can you do to shift up out of the toxicity you are experiencing when in any of these places?
We introduce you to the Synergizer.
The Synergizer’s theme is “I serve us, so we can serve others”. The Synergizer lives from a truly human place of Confident Vulnerability®. As a Synergizer, you know what you are, you know what you are not, and you are okay with both. You confidently choose to bring your puzzle piece, your unique contributions, and welcome others to do the same as you work with others to create better results and relationships. You let go of judgment of self or others as you model interdependence by creating an environment of acceptance and appreciation for others’ uniqueness, inviting them to choose to be in interdependence with you and others. The Synergizer brings both confidence and vulnerability to create high-energy and performance for self and others.
As the Synergizer, you live from a place of unconditional curiosity. You acknowledge the fear and redirect or reframe it in an empowering, mature way that allows you to embrace the learning it offers. You have no fear of loss, and you think from a mindset of abundance and possibilities. You are also brutally honest with yourself, and in the spirit of unconditional acceptance of self (and others), you tell on yourself when you are not sure, when you don’t know or when you are not able.
Your energy is about us, you and me, and how much better we are together! The greater good and the interest of ALL stakeholders is your first and main focus.
You are resourceful, able to skillfully pause, and reflect on what you, others and the situation needs. You then bring your strengths and invite others to bring theirs to meet those needs so you can create better results and relationships together. This is the place of optimal performance and deep fulfillment.
What if you had the strategies and tools to shift up out of toxicity so you could create better results and relationships for yourself and others? How would your life be different if you lived more often from Confident Vulnerability®? What would that look like for you?
Brilliant Brian! Yes, synergizing allows us to serve in a small group so that we can learn to serve out in the bigger marble of planet Earth.
blessings,
Cynthia
Great article Brian. When people join together for a common vision, common goal and common purpose, the results and benefits are far greater than one can expect.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Frank!
Thank you, Kimberly! So excited to continue to create better together alongside you. I find what most people miss in the “I serve us so that we can serve others” is that I am part of US, and caring for myself first so that I can be my best for myself AND others becomes such a wonderful and expansive opportunity for each of us!
I love so many things about this piece, Brian, but one of the things that I love the most is that you model this so beautifully in real life. This is exactly how I experience you and, adding language to my experience, only enriches my understanding of this topic.