Intentions and Jumping Behaviors

My friend told me he is unsure about the intention of a joint friend. Suddenly this friend is visiting him at home more frequently than he used to. This sudden change of behavior must be for a reason, he continued.

I asked myself should my friend give the benefit of the doubt to our joint friend. A sudden change of behavior may indeed indicate hidden intentions. I remembered a friend of mine who frequently asked me for small loans and he always repaid them on time. He gained my trust. One day he asked for a much bigger loan than he used to. I gave him the money. Since then he disappeared. He established credibility to hide his real intentions to run away with the big money.

This made me aware of what I call jumping behaviors. When people make jumping requests this could be a revealer that there are hidden intentions.

We need to give the benefit of the doubt. Simultaneously, we want to verify the intentions. However, how to reveal the intentions? This question still has no definite answer.

Intentions Revealers

Is behavior jumps the only intention revealer? Thinking deeper behavior jumps indicate a behavior pattern that repeats and breaking this pattern is a big intention revealer.

If a person talks nicely to you and praises your good manners and at the same time, he gossips about others and spread, bad news zealously about them then there is a break of the behavior pattern. His real nature is toxic and being sweet with you must be for a hidden intention.

Remember that pattern of behaviors speak louder than words.

Intentions are the precursors for action. Watch the previous actions of a person if in doubt with her/his intentions. Are her/his words now in harmony with her/his words? If not, she/he then could be hiding some bad intentions. You need to verify your doubt.

Check intentions by asking why. I recall I invited a few friends to my birthday party but left one friend. He found out and became angry with me. My friends were unhappy with me. One of them called me and asked if I forgot to invite that friend. I said no. So why did I not invite him, my friend, on the phone ask? I said because I know he has financial problems and I did not wish to burden him with buying a present. It is important to reveal intentions by asking why before adding fuel to the fire of doubt.

Figure out who are the few most friends of the person you have doubts about. If somebody spends, most of her/his time with people with bad reputations this is a reflection of the behavior of this person. It is true that similar birds flock together.

How do you reveal the intentions when in doubt about somebody? Please share your thoughts and experiences.


Ali Anani
Ali Anani
My name is Ali Anani. I hold a Ph.D. from the University of East Anglia (UK, 1972) Since the early nineties I switched my interests to publish posts and presentations and e-books on different social media platforms.

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  1. I think your first mentioned mutual friend deserves the same consideration as you got when somebody asked “why the missing guest, Ali?”
    All it takes is asking. “I am so happy that you have more time to come see me. What has changed?” From the readiness of the answer one might be able to deduct better if the friend has ignoble intentions. Perhaps he was just lonely but shy about that. Most lonely people are. Before digging ourselves too much down in our own stories about what is going on, we could ask. That is what friends do.

    • Revealing the intentions from behaviors is important, Charlotte. I agree with you. In my case the pretended friend ran away with the money. Surely he was not shy to ask or money. Do you expect shy people to keep asking for loans?
      I salute your question ““I am so happy that you have more time to come see me. What has changed?” is great and in the post I mentioned verify by asking why. Your example question serves this purpose very well.

      You reminded me of a weekly guest who used to visit us every weekend. He had to travel more than 70 miles to reach our home. I missed you uncle, he kept saying to my father. He asked for a favor to appoint his son in a famous private company. My father helped him and the son got the job. Since then we never saw his face again.

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