Intention Imagining: of Hearth and Home

Last year at the beginning of 2020, I was drawn to set intentions.  They came to me easily from my intuition: balance and “finding the others.”  Almost magically, I watched these intentions unfold.  I started integrating Chakra balancing into my life and into my work.  My inner and outer worlds seemed to get more in sync and had an easy flow to them, like the seasons.  As time moved on, people and groups started entering my life that were so on point, it felt like a miracle.

Admittedly, I was a bit apprehensive to set intentions at all because I’d heard the jury was out on whether it was a good idea or not.  For instance, apparently, Oprah used to set intentions at the beginning of the year until one year she set an intention to have more courage and noticed that the universe (her words) sent trial after trial to test her courage until she was exhausted.  So, she simply decided to “live in the now” and found that preferable.

I considered this perspective.  I really did.  And maybe it was perfect for Oprah, but it wasn’t right for me.  My intuition was telling me something different.

In March, Covid-19 hit, and finding the others became more relevant than ever.  As I was weaving these soulful connections and coming into more balance, my living space started to feel wrong.  With the lockdown newly in place and global uncertainty running high, I still wound up moving into a new home.

I hadn’t search for it.  It was only the anxious sound of my mother’s voice one morning on the phone that jarred me into taking action.  She wanted to know where the hell I was going to move to with my lease-up in two weeks and during a pandemic.  “There’s so much to do!” she agonized.  “Moving is so hard and stressful.  What if you can’t find a place and you’re out on the street?  You only have two weeks!” I tried to calm her down by reminding her how many times I’d moved and that even though I knew that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear, I just knew it would all work out.

Still, I wanted to ease her anxiety and honor her fears, so I thought for a moment, and remembered driving past a dimly lit sign one night that read, “Immediate Availability.”  I couldn’t remember where it was.  I hung up with her, got in the car, and trusted my intuition to lead me there.  It did!

In the weeks before, I’d catch myself falling asleep imagining a lovely living space, something that felt one with me.  I’d been in the heart of downtown, and what once felt like an exciting place to live now felt cramped and frenetic.  My heart and soul longed for something more spacious, calmer, and in tune with nature.

There’s got to be a neighborhood close to downtown but with nature all around,’ I’d say to myself.  ‘Somewhere with a pond and lots of trees.  Somewhere quiet, off the beaten path, and with no construction noise!  I’d love for there to be a peaceful path where I can take my walks in the morning.  There’s got to be somewhere like that.  There just has to be.

I put no limitations on my inner thoughts and just let them continue.  ‘I can see this place.  It’s quaint, with a good vibe and cheaper rent.  Yes. $500 less would be ideal.  But I don’t want to live on the ground floor.  I don’t want anyone above me or below me.’

It all seemed a bit impossible on paper, so I didn’t write it down.  I just let my heart speak.

Now, here I was, driving up to the leasing office.  I turned around a bend and followed the road.  This community was off the beaten path, carefully carved into a few tracks of land on the edge of a 600-acre inactive quarry.  A great rushing river created a natural divide between the downtown area.  To my fortune, the leasing agent was on site.  She said her day was fully booked but I’d arrived at her only 30-minute break.  She showed me a detailed map of the community and I noticed a drawing of a pond.  “You have a pond?” I asked.  “Yep.” She said.  “I think one of the units coming available is near it.”

“What about this one?” I asked, pointing to a little rectangular square.  She hesitated and fumbled around a bit and got on her computer to confirm.  “Yep.  That one is coming available in two weeks.” I looked up and smiled.

I could feel a sense of unfolding all around me and my heart started to dance with anticipation.  We hurried down the long promenade towards the end of the cul-de-sac and stood outside.  I let out a grateful sigh.  Ten paces in front of me was the most idyllic, serene pond with a beautiful sparkling fountain in the middle.  A few willows swayed at the edge gracing the top of the water with delicate branches.  A row of deep green pines dotted the ridge above, and several other deciduous trees flanked a meandering gravel path.  Soon, I’d be having morning walks in the company of deer, turtles, ducks, geese, heron, and doves.

My heart was filled with love and an inner knowing as I stood there.  I turned my head away from the pond and my eyes drifted up from a few garage doors to what would be my apartment on top.  “Those are for people with second cars,” the leasing agent said.  “So, you won’t have anyone living above you or below you.” I smiled and let out another grateful breath.

I moved in two weeks later with the help of my boyfriend.  The move was effortless.  We looked at one another for a moment wondering what else to do.  It all seemed too easy.  He laughed and said to me, “Wow.  Well done.”  I was in the most beautiful part of town now, the one the locals told me was the priciest, yet I signed the lease for five-hundred dollars less a month.  I even had a hearth!

It all felt so unbelievable and yet so believable at the same time.  I chose to just receive it with grateful acknowledgment, like a gift.

As I sat on my lovely sofa, in the peaceful elegance of my new home, I read a bit from a book brought to my attention by some of “the others.”  It said, “And that’s why having integrity and being truthful in the world somehow means that rather than being obsessed with the facts in a consumerist sort of way, that having integrity in the world means trying to come into rhythm with the secret imaginative pulse and secret creative pulse of everything that is.  So, the imagination brings us wonderful gifts.” – John O’Donohue, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace

As I read those words, I breathed a relaxed breath.  I rest in the sacred intimacy of hearth and home.