“I’m Sorry!” How to Stop Over Apologizing

Dear ones although taking responsibility for where you are and what is happening in your life is paramount to your spiritual success, taking responsibility for what’s not yours is a detriment and if not corrected will prevent you from addressing and balancing your own issues in the spiritual realm. When your attention is focused outward, on what other people are doing, you cannot simultaneously be looking inward at your own participation.

If you participate in chronic apologizing then your focus in always outside of yourself. You’re looking at how you interact with your world, how your world interacts with you and how you affect your world and their world differently but you’re not asking yourself the most vital question of all, why?

Why do I feel compelled to apologize for my presence? For your situation or for being part of the situation by being within its vicinity?”

When you assume blame for everything that happens, you are not assuming responsibility for anything. When someone constantly says, “I’m sorry,” for everything and to everyone, they’re expressing two things. First, It’s a cry for help. The chronic apologizer wants to be noticed but doesn’t understand how to ask for help. Second, they feel inadequate to deal with their life and feel that apologizing will let them off the hook. If they apologize then they’re no longer responsible and no responsibility means no ownership and therefore no need to get serious and do the work necessary to grow into the highest version of themselves.  Since they claim no responsibility they’re also making a statement about self-love. They believe they’re unworthy of receiving love so they must apologize for their very existence.

If you’re a chronic apologizer and you’ve related to the afore-mentioned description you’ll want to act on this information daily. In order to do so, the following steps must be enacted. First, you must find and address the parts of yourself that feel unworthy. Instead of pretending that they don’t exist or acting as if these aspects of yourself don’t bother you. You must go into the heart and address the issues where they are being held, prisoner. Refusing to look at them only makes them stronger so it’s time to learn to be your own biggest fan.

Be the cheerleader everyone wants to have in their life by examining the parts of you that are hurting and then doing whatever heart clearing and healing is necessary so that you may not only find peace but feel proud of your values and belief systems.

One must always remember that you choose what you believe it’s not burned into your being, it’s a choice you make on a daily basis with your thoughts and feelings. If you find that your mind is a wasteland of negativity then you must take the time to go into the heart and release then negative emotions that are holding you stuck.

Once you’ve successfully released the negativity that’s been preventing your success you must go even further into the heart and learn to find and appreciate all of the wonderful qualities that make up your authentic self. Bring that which is truly you into the world where it may be seen and experienced by everyone including yourself. Then, allow yourself to feel good about all that you are, about the love that you share with all but most especially allow yourself to be delighted by the love you’re sharing with yourself. From this high place of unconditional love and acceptance take responsibility for all that you are and all that you create and allow others to do the same. Remembering that you cannot be minding your own vibration and that of everyone else in the room with you at the same time without becoming outwardly focused. Outward focus leads to destruction for creation is an inside job.

When you make a mistake, hurt someone’s feelings or cause harm to another in any way, then you are right to apologize. However, if you’re looking outside yourself for answers or believing that you’re responsible for another person’s journey then you’ve misplaced your sense of responsibility. You cannot live someone else’s life for them. You cannot fix someone else’s life for them and you cannot apologize as a way to avoid your own responsibility toward yourself. A healthy individual is honest with themselves, goes inward and aligns themselves with the Divine for guidance and solutions. An unstable person looks outward seeking to both blame and apologizes as a way to avoid taking responsibility.  The constant yo-yo-ing between blaming and apologizing keeps themselves and others confused as to what is being accomplished and thus the unstable person is able to remain in that place of instability that continues to grow and cause confusion.

We want you to live full, joyous lives by choosing to be responsible for your own thoughts and feelings. Recognize that you are where you are by choice and not by chance. Therefore, we want you to choose to be fully self-loving by honoring, accepting and loving all that you are. Apologize when it’s appropriate but never apologize for being a beautiful beacon of light.