I’m Fine … The Truth is Beneath the Surface

It is a common stereotype that men tend to say they’re fine when they’re not. While this may not be true for every individual, there are several potential reasons why some men might do this:

Societal pressure: Men are often socialized to be tough and not show vulnerability or weakness. Saying they’re not fine could be perceived as a sign of weakness, which can be challenging for some men.

Fear of burdening others: Men may not want to burden their friends, family, or partners with their problems. They might feel that it’s easier to say they’re fine than to open up and talk about what’s really going on.

Difficulty expressing emotions: Some men may struggle to express their emotions or put them into words. Saying they’re fine may be a default response when they don’t know how to express what they’re feeling.

Lack of trust: Men may not feel comfortable opening up to others if they don’t trust them or feel that they won’t be understood. Saying they’re fine can be a way to avoid the risk of being judged or misunderstood.

It’s important to remember that not all men will say they’re fine when they’re not, and that everyone’s experience is unique. If you’re concerned about a man in your life, it can be helpful to approach them with empathy and understanding and let them know that you’re there to support them if they need it.

Which of the above is the reason you say you’re fine when you’re not? A shift in mindset can help you get past this.


Drew Deraney
Drew Deraney
Drew Deraney was born in Brooklyn, NY, and raised in Ho-Ho-Kus, NJ where he still lives to this day caring for his elderly mom and his 3 adult children Matthew, Nicholas, and Emma. Drew earned his B.A. in Psychology, M.A. in Applied Psychology, and two psychology research publications while at Fairfield University; a scholarship from the Healthcare Financial Management Association; and his M.B.A. in Health Care Administration from Baruch College / Mount Sinai School of Medicine in NY. His hospital career spanned 24 years where he was co-chair of the Leadership Institute, spoke at JD Power, was one of three leaders interviewed by The Commonwealth Fund, received his Communicating with Empathy Trainer certification, and is a Certified Patient Experience Professional. Four years ago, Drew founded Profit Compassion LLC, an entity to coach and empower mostly men to create resiliency and authenticity as Chief Resilience Officer. Drew is the podcast host of ‘From Caving in to Crushing It’ and recently became a best-selling author with his book ‘I’ll Have What She’s Having’ - Memoir of a reformed People Pleaser. In a 9-month span, Drew experienced a grueling divorce, job loss, his son’s suicidal ideations, and his father’s death which devastated Drew emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. It is a commonality for men to consider any challenge as a weakness as well as to show emotion and ask for help. While writing his book, Drew realized he was not the only man suffering in silence. With more clarity of purpose than ever, he began asking for help. Drew Deraney’s mission is to help, especially men, release their inner greatness by showing vulnerability, keeping in the integrity of their power, and making a great impact on the people in their lives both personally and professionally. Drew Deraney now travels the world both to Live and Virtual Events showing mostly men the steps needed to strengthen self-identity and self-worth, to overcome self-limiting beliefs, and to build confidence while being authentic, maintaining boundaries, and to transcend people-pleasing skills to become the person they are destined to be. Drew challenges them to reach deep inside and make a lasting impact. Enjoy his new book: I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING: MEMOIR OF A REFORMED PEOPLE PLEASER 

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