If You’re Not All In … 2019 Will Be A Nonstarter!

Recently I had the pleasure of meeting a lady who wanted to start a business using her existing expertise which included a wealth of knowledge and a ton of hands-on experience.  It’s true she is indeed an expert in her field and more than qualified to start a business and set off on her new journey.  (In theory)

For context; when holding a “business breakthrough session” with a prospective client (which this was) I take the time, first of all, to find out what it is she wants, along with where she is now and where she wants to be in the future. Using that information along with other contributing factors, it’s my job to join the dots and lay an implementable path that leads to her business and lifestyle goals.

The meeting in question was an interesting one that filled me with excitement to begin with, not least because of her area of expertise. I was able to offer a number of solutions to meet her business needs, along with actionable steps she could implement. I should say that until now, her working life was with the government but she’d decided to change direction in favour of private clients. (Again a very good decision in theory).

In fact, it’s fair to say she was fiercely objectionable to anything I recommended, even though I evidenced how and why these options would work for her.

Our discussion was lengthy and in-depth and she spent time talking about the policies, processes, and procedures she’d been bound by as a government employee. I noticed early on that any suggestions I offered for her new business were met with “but I’ve always done it this way” or “that’s not how we do it” or “Oh no I couldn’t do that”. In fact, it’s fair to say she was fiercely objectionable to anything I recommended, even though I evidenced how and why these options would work for her. What did become very clear was, while she claimed to “want change” she was emphatically “resistant to change” which was again evident in her attachment to her old role and the main thrust of our conversation.

That said, I have in the past met with clients who’ve had a foot in two camps, wanting the change but afraid to make the leap and on that basis have required a clear set of next steps as to how to achieve their goals. That’s normal, very common and very doable and nine times out of ten they proceed, however, in this case, and for the first time ever, I found myself in unfamiliar territory in that; it seemed as though I’d have to convince this lady she was doing the right thing but I couldn’t do that for two very specific reasons. The first being, she was so resistant to what she would have to do and what’s more, very determined to stay there, that nothing I could say would have changed her mind. The second reason was, it’s not my job to convince her she should start a business and to do so would be highly unethical.

My job is to create a set of actionable and implementable steps that my client can use to get her business online in less time, thereby dramatically reducing the learning curve along with the cost that comes with figuring it all our on your own.

In truth this lady wasn’t ready for any of that to happen in fact she was miles away in her head as well as her heart. In the end, I left the meeting with a feeling of defeat for her as well as for me and she remained on my mind for the rest of the day. After discussing this with my own coach, whom I sought out for refuge, (feeling very bruised) I was, in the end, glad of the experience from which I learned these four things:

#1. Neither I nor any other coach in my specific niche could have met her needs. This meeting was all was about mindset and that’s not my area of expertise. Yes my clients may have a wobble or two, or get scared and we work on that but in the main, the women who come to me have already made their mind up about what they want to do. All they want from me is to show them how to do it and support them along the way, that’s my area of expertise.

#2 I need to hook up with a mindset coach so that if I come across this in the future, I can refer the client to a more suitable coach. I was in truth unprepared for this scenario and that’s my fault, but hey there’s a first time for everything.
#3 I’m sure our meeting did serve a purpose in that the lady probably went home thinking  “going it alone is not for me, I don’t want to do any of what it takes to get what I thought I wanted”.

#4 Is to say to any woman contemplating starting a business, be sure it’s what you really want, be all in and commit to it. Be prepared to do the work and make the necessary changes to get what you want. And know that if you approach this from a state of “resistance” you’ll never get out the gate and 2019 or any other year for that matter, will be a nonstarter in terms of creating a business of your own.

In the meantime, feel free to download your copy of “how to create a heart centred plan for your business”. This is a free 10-page resource and a great jumping off point to get you started.  Get it HERE . And I’m excited to share the Audible version of my Book here: Polish the Diamond In Your Heart.


Dee Coxon
Dee Coxon
DEE Coxon is a bestselling author of Polish The Diamond In Your Heart and Business Start-up Coach who inspires women to go beyond their known capabilities and get their business online in less time. A former hairdresser and beauty therapist she learned everything she knows about women within the four walls of her own salon where she admits to getting more satisfaction helping clients with their personal struggles, than she did doing their hair and makeup! Self-employed since she was 18, she eventually left her vocational path, swapped her scissors for a lap top and entered the world of academia. In the year she turned 50 Dee gained a Master’s degree, a teaching certificate, became a grandmother and lost her mother to cancer after a 2 year battle, during which she nursed her. A quote by Rufus wainwright: You’re born twice, once at your birth and again when your mother dies” had a profound effect and changed the way she sees and does things now. As the creator of The Fast Class: A bespoke, 1 to 1, accelerated learning experience, designed for beginners and delivered in one day. Dee blends expertise with life experience to make sure her clients get past those self-imposed barriers that keep them from launching a business they love. Dovetailing these two elements is fundamental to the Fast Class and reflected in Dee’s coaching style. Why? Because she believes, no matter where you are in your business journey something is happening within the context of your life, the two are inextricably linked.

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  1. I was happy to read where you said It’s not your role to try to convince her. You’re so right, Dee. I have been where you are re not being able to aassist clients with mindset issues. I knew that was the reason they took no action even though they should be able to do so.

    This was why it would take two years of searching to find the right coaching program that would equip me to do life and business coaching.

    Paraphrasing what you said, whether we’re a beginner or not, if we’re not committed (all in), the year will come and go and we’ll be no further along. Each of us has choices that no one can make for us.