If You Really Knew Me

–You'd know I don't have much ambition

Yesterday, I was part of an exercise called “if you really knew me,” which took place in a room of about 40 people. The idea was for each of us to, for a few minutes, say “if you really knew me—-” and then allow whatever came out to come out.

When it was my turn, I said to the room “If you really knew me, you’d know I don’t have much ambition…

…and I get irritated when people judge that as a bad thing.”

I saw a few smiles.

“My favorite times of the day,” I continued, “are waking up, and eating. And I like making money, but only to further the pursuit of waking up… and eating.”

In my poorest year of business, I became intimate with how special it is to be able to buy food and have shelter. Truly, I’m blessed. I recognize that as a white woman with an education and a family that makes a comfortable middle-class income, I can only ever enter into elected poverty, not actual poverty. Not to mention, I have a massive assortment of highly successful friends- people who did have ambition in the years when I was gallivanting around New York City as a modern-day Beat.

I likely will never fall into dire straits –my life has not been designed that way. I recognize how truly fortunate this is. Nevertheless, I do not judge my value by my “output,” nor have I ever, really.

The only time I would let myself get down about it was when other people judged my value by my output. Why didn’t they see? All I wanted was love, and quiet. For me, waking up and eating was the definition of sublime. (And running too, eventually.) If I could sit by the water for a few hours every day, even better. Doesn’t even have to be fancy water. Dirty water like the East River suits me just fine.

One time I was meditating by that filthy estuary and I opened my eyes to see several police boats, and a police car approaching with flashing lights. Some cleaners thought they found a human body, which they do from time to time. Not that time, though. Even that water is fine. That water, eating, and waking up. That’s the elite trifecta.

Some of you will not understand this, but here’s the thing…

Ray Kurzweil predicted that in 2029, computers will pass the Turning Test and convince us that they have consciousness. Technology holds massively accelerating returns, and within a little over 15 years, we will expand our intelligence a billion-fold. So as threatening as it might sound to you, you were trained to be a piece of machinery to move a motor. That function will become obsolete.

Is it bad? Absolutely not. You’ll get to be with yourself again like you were when you were young, and you picked blades of grass and were giggly curious about everything you saw.

And I’m just here to help with the transitioning process… to help you see the value you hold as a cell in the organism of Earth.

That’s the view from the roof today.


Andee Scarantino
Andee Scarantino
Andee Scarantino is a Mindset and Transformational coach on a mission to make personal development digestible. She is the creator of, and host of The Get the F*ck Off Podcast, which deep dives into identity, limiting beliefs, and “getting the fuck off the shit that doesn’t serve you anymore.”  Andee earned her M.A. in Sociology from Columbia University in 2013. Her work incorporates how macro-level systems contribute to individual arrested development. Since a very young age, she has always had a fascination for knowing and understanding people. She spent 20 years working in the food, beverage, and hospitality industry; 11 of those years were at a restaurant in Times Square. Through that time, both while bartending and training staff members, she honed the incredible skill of active listening. Now, Andee uses her powerful voice to connect to the “greater story of us,” showing readers and listeners alike how so much of our human experience is dictated to us by things outside of our awareness. Andee is the creator and leader of a women’s coaching community, “Day 1.” The community is based on the concept that everything happens now. One of her members described it as a “beautifully powerful container full of trust, vulnerability, laughs, a few cuss words, and a whole lot of exploration.” Present moment awareness is a major component of Andee’s mindset and transformational coaching, and she’s diligent in having her clients examine their stories in between sessions. Day 1. is a reminder that every day, every moment, is an opportunity for a fresh start. Who you are today is not contingent on yesterday. A former 18-year cigarette smoker, Andee now is an avid runner and has run many full marathons since 2018. Quitting smoking was the fulcrum that shifted her understanding of how perceived identity contributes to people staying in what they believe are unmovable scenarios. Andee lives in New York City. In her free time, she enjoys running by the East River.

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