I know it is not so easy to read this title if you have been recently laid off. I hear you. I have been there twice in my life and especially the first one hurt like hell even though I knew we were headed there.
Being laid off is no easy process to go through. It is like grief. You lose something important in your life. Especially those who have worked for the same company for long years and in some cases for decades. It is so understandable; that is a place you “go to”. You feel like you “belong” somewhere else other than your home. We build up identities along the way around our jobs and titles too. It begins to shape who we are without even realizing it.
And when we are told not to come to work anymore, we are lost. There is no place to “go” even if you were working remotely. If you were in a physical office every day it is even harder. You feel unwanted. Your life all of a sudden feels empty. You know no paycheck is coming either. You lose your benefits. You also lose some of your friends, people you hang out with every day. None of this is easy. Especially if it is your first time.
Besides going through it myself, I also re-live it with my clients every day. Right now I am working with amazing, smart, experienced people from very big and well-known companies who have been laid off in big numbers in 2023 as you all know.
Based on where you are in this journey and in your career, stories change yet the emotional piece is similar. It feels like a roller coaster ride. You have the ups and downs. These only make us human.
You wanted some extra time for so long when you worked so hard, how come when you have it, it does not feel so great, right? Believe me, I know.
Some stress out, even with a great severance package, to start looking for a new job just the next morning. Some have so much anxiety, they need to have therapy. Some are more hopeful than others. Some are excited about the opportunity. Wherever you are in that scale, it is all OK. Our stories are different because we are in a different stage of life, we have different experiences, we have different financial situations, and so on.
Yet having been a career coach for 20+ years now, I always wish there was a magic wand to show my clients this might be one of the best opportunities given to them.
“What opportunity?” you may say. “This feels horrible!”
I say, the opportunity to reflect on your life.
We never seem to take the time to do life audits when we work, to do a reflection on what we really want in life, what our priorities are, and what we need to do to create more happiness and fulfillment in life. We leave ourselves to the common flow of life and only react. Actually, that is exactly when we lose ourselves, not when we get laid off: I meet so many people who work so hard for so many years they do not even know who they are without their work or their titles.
As I always say, our work and our titles can be ripped away from us in seconds. Who are we actually without any of them? What is the essence that can never be taken away from us?
A layoff can be the best chance to be more proactive in our life choices and answer some of those more important questions.
I understand the ones who are stressed out to make money again as soon as possible. Believe me, I know. In neither of my layoffs, I had enough savings to feel comfortable. Yet I took the time to really look at my life as a whole and see how my work fits into it. I spent time thinking about what I want from work, what I want from life, what my new priorities are, and if I need to take a new path or not.
We owe it to ourselves to give this full stop. There could be so much awakening during this mandatory break. It is almost a forced pause to look at our lives for real.
I enjoy the clients who are brave enough to take this time to reflect and the process where I can guide them through that space of many unknowns. Away from my comfort zone.
Yet in the end, there is so much more fulfillment that comes from exploring the options and the new doors they can knock on instead of jumping to a job that may not be a good fit at all. Some know exactly what they want and what makes them happy; they are OK to move on as much speed as they like. Yet many are not there. They know deep down this could be a place to stop and think about what they want yet it feels scary too.
It is supposed to be scary. Anything new, any new path to explore, any deeper questions about yourself can be hard. That is where all the magic lies though. Our comfort zone only brings more of what we know. If what we know and experience is not making us happy, why not try to be scared a little now, instead of saying “ I should have explored it more” when you look back 10 years later?
Life is too precious and too short to live only for a paycheck even if the paycheck makes everything we want possible. Quality of our life every day makes us happier in the end.
So if you have been laid off or know someone who has been laid off, invite yourself or them to take a break and reflect back on life and explore the possibility that this layoff can have a silver lining hidden if you/they choose to look deep.
If you believe layoff is an opportunity, you will find that new and better door open for you.
If you want to stay in this “brave” zone to look at your life and your career from a positive perspective you can read more articles like this at www.yourbestlifeinc.com/blog and also listen/watch videos at www.youtube.com/@purposefullifeandwork
Job search is a job. When it is supported by a lay-off, I agree there is a value that we overlook here, sometimes focusing on the loss of the life we got comfortable with. The number one fear in a corporate setting is asking the question “is my job safe?”. That by itself cuts off the kind of audit or possibilities we could consider. Taking stock in a time when we afforded time is certainly a good idea, but as you articulate, we hold on too tightly to the known, thus robbing us of energy to deal with the unknown, or in more inspiring words “the greater possibility”.
Thank you Ruel for the comment. Yes our brains are not well wired for unknown and the answer to that question “is my job safe?’ realistically is “no” almost everywhere and in any level. Especially compared to 20 years ago no job is safe. It is TOO easy to layoff people unfortunately. So they can hire in big numbers when needed knowing it is easy to let go when the times are tough. That is why we have to be on top of our life and make our plans. I like greater possibility!