Ideas of Limit Reflect Limit Right Back

Is the world really that terrible? What if you consider the possibility that it’s infinitely kind, and its job is to wake us up to our confusion by reflecting confusion right back at us.

Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion, you are always confused. We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually, they are there because we resist them.


Ideas of limit reflect limit right back to us.

The other week I had a tough call with some peers where I felt majorly “got at”. Like every word that was said was telling me I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to do more, be more, develop more. It felt like s%^t. I cried.

Suffering was most certainly happening. We’ve been trained to respond to suffering by pointing to the world and saying “wrong” — point to them and say they’re “bad people”, point to the call and say “bad call”, point to the self and say “bad self”.

Then having apportioned blame we say “fix it” — give them feedback about their behaviour, never go to those calls again, certainly develop yourself — maybe some “resilience” training to toughen you up, or put in place the improvements they suggested.

But what if, those words from their mouths only appeared as a result of an “I’m not good enough” thought believed true in that moment?

What if rather than telling us anything is wrong with them, the calls, or me, the discomfort of the whole thing is a wake-up call to shake us out of the confusion of a temporary thought taken as a definite truth?

Then suddenly the design of our human experience looks infinitely kind and loving. Then suddenly nobody needs fixing. Now we remember who we are behind the thought and see it is untouched and unaffected by the whole experience.

And now we take action with sanity, from clarity.

So when the world looks terrible and like it’s doing bad stuff to you, consider what’s being believed in that moment and get curious about whether it’s true — like is it categorically, undeniably, always 100% true. The mind might try to say “no…but”. Be clear, this is a yes or no answer. Is it true?

With love, Helen


Helen Amery
Helen Amery
Reconnecting you to innate brilliance for a more fulfilling life. Disillusionment happens when, things that we took to be true, start to look less so. People, belief systems, ways of working, societal norms. As these cracks, in reality, start to show we often look around to see what else is available to make sense of this, and these moments provide the opportunity for great change and the ability to step into a whole new and fresh experience of life. I work with disillusioned people who’ve worked hard all their lives to climb the career ladder, increase their income, who got the family and the house and the car and…then they look around and realise something’s still missing. They don’t feel more fulfilled. They don’t feel successful. They don’t feel secure. Sometimes these things have even become worse. My career has developed through commercial HR into psychology-based coaching, and now my work goes beyond psychology to the fundamental truths behind our human experience. This is the final shift in perspective that frees us from the imagined limitations we’ve gathered through life and reconnects us to our innate brilliance. It’s the direct path that other development can meander us to. From here we find fulfilment, security and a feeling of success – and we find we’re able to enjoy everything we already had, and new things, in an entirely fresh way. My business is called Wild Fig Solutions because the Wild Fig has the deepest roots in the world and I always cared about getting to the heart of what was going on. Now this work is really that as it reconnects us to our heart at the deepest level and naturally rebalances us so that we use the brilliance of our head in the way it works best. I work with clients online, in one-to-one and group coaching programmes, to help them reconnect to their innate brilliance. See my book here: Let’s Get Honest About: Work

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