I Refuse to be a Victim

While that statement has been in my head for a long time, I am actually quoting someone else here.  I won’t name names as I wouldn’t want to embarrass anyone.

Actually, the statement (I refuse to be a victim) can be applied to many situations from violent crime, to domestic abuse, to dealing with a deadly disease to the emotional stress of the current pandemic.  The statement recently made had to do with the stress brought on by various aspects of the virus and the resulting isolation.

Even those not following a strict isolation regimen for the past 11 months have suffered.  Loss of one’s business whether a restaurant, or a retail shop, or a service business the economic loss is very stressful.  Those that are now forced to work from home are finding that the loss of personal contact with fellow workers and the loss of being part of something bigger than self leaves a major void.  Then there are the millions that have simply lost all income and are facing the loss of shelter, having to rely on donated food sources and charities.  How about the stress of having to explain all this to one’s children?

The result is predictable.  Every little glitch becomes magnified and multiplied until it seems that one more can push a person over the edge.

Things that would normally be dealt with as routine little aggravations or what I call bumps in the road become bigger than life issues.  A short term power outage, a child spilling his milk, the dryer eating another sock, a wrong number call at 2 am, or Loss of internet service in the middle of a phone call.

At some point, one reaches the stage where one wants to scream.  When you reach that edge it is time to take a deep breath and yell “I refuse to be a victim”.  Try it, you’ll feel better.

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Ken Vincent
Ken Vincenthttp://sbpra.com/KennethVincent/
KEN is a 46 year veteran hotelier and entrepreneur. Formerly owned two hotels, an advertising agency, a wholesale tour company, a POS company, a leasing company, and a hotel management company. The hotels included chain owned, franchises, and independents. They ranged in type from small luxury inns, to limited service properties, to large convention hotels and resorts. After retiring he authored a book, “So Many Hotels, So Little Time” in which he relates what life is like behind the scenes for a hotel manager. Ken operated more that 100 hotels and resorts in the US and Caribbean and formed eight companies. He is a firm believer that senior management should share their knowledge and experience with the next generation of management.


  1. Many factors put mental health at risk during this coronavirus pandemic. Concern for oneself and loved ones, social isolation, threats to job stability, economic difficulties and a distressing uncertainty about future developments, as if the world were radically changing: one is afraid of not being able to return to one’s previous life, of not being able to more to do simple but basic things like meeting friends, going to shows or exhibitions, traveling, hugging others. An acceptable level of stress also implies efficient immune functions.
    In the difficult days we have ahead, it is useful to start from the inside and positively reformulate the situation in one’s mind. The thought of being stuck and not being able to go out can be usefully reformulated into the thought of finally being able to take care of oneself and one’s home. But for everyone, and especially for the most unfortunate people who are alone at this moment or find themselves in a difficult economic or working situation, it is extremely important to cultivate hope, not letting oneself be overwhelmed by negative feelings that would further aggravate stress without bringing any benefit, such as fear, anger, or suspicion and resentment towards hypothetical “guilty” of the situation. It is essential to nourish all your important social relationships, making use of technology, which in a period like this can give a great help to keep in touch with friends and relatives while remaining at home. It is useful to reserve a space of time every day for social contacts, being an active part and not just waiting to be contacted.

  2. I’ve have always enjoyed a strong “Tarzan” yell minus the chest beating. It does feel good and is very therapeutic especially in large crowds or in mixed company when completely unexpected.

    Thanks Ken for your sage advice and solid perspective. A joyful 2021 to you and yours!

  3. Blessings Ken, I will give the ole shout out! as you say in your last line of the article. I agree 100% that complaining of being the victim doesn’t get one anywhere but in more desolation and less consolation. Turning to another note, I pray Georgia does the right thing as so much will change in America that possibly cannot be reversed. God bless to you and yours great article, right to the point.