I Have Always Been Curious About My Tendency To Be Selective With My Silliness

–I couldn’t understand why many people were silly or funny — no matter how you prefer putting it — in all contexts.

I would go for the former any day since I love to believe the Inner Child is silly because s/he is free and secure enough to withstand being self-deprecating and ridiculed. If you know me even a little, you are aware of how much I believe in silliness power, along with vulnerability, in raising the spirits, nurturing souls, and maybe…just maybe leaving a lasting impact on someone’s existence!


Silliness: And Showing Up in the World as a Kid

Today, I had an epiphany. My tendency is rooted in my need to make an authentic connection. That is, if the person at the receiving end is not receptive, there is no point at all.

Appealingly, I have some thoughts about the unfiltered silliness/funny demeanor. Instead of a genuine will to engage or inspire, the main goal or need could be:

A coping mechanism for our real feelings of inadequacy and the urge to achieve something great and build an avatar the world can talk about and look up to. Jim Carrey is the example that comes to mind. I love his authentic being following his depression and awakening much more than the character.

A narcissistic supply fishing strategy. If you know anything about NPD, it should be no surprise they need to be the center of the world. By being the funny guy/girl and the life of the gathering, the fragile ego is sure to be nurtured and the specialness delusion to be confirmed. A legitimate question could be, “How can we make the difference? Are there any clues one may observe?” Fortunately yes, should we make psychological education a high priority, and learn to incessantly develop our observation and critical thinking skills, it seems to me!

Inherently good people versus manipulators

Watch out for their ability to be empathetic. You will need to pay attention to your intuition when they show compassion. Perpetrators know what empathy looks like intellectually and are masters in mirroring it. Trust your gut feeling.

A second detail to keep track of is how they respond to criticism. Intrinsically good folks who are still diving into life with their heavy psychological luggage would feel discomfort when criticized. Their self-esteem is at fault. They may become defensive. Nonetheless, they will not aggress you or make it about you unless they have moderate to narcissistic tendencies. Aggression can vary from passive-aggressiveness to narcissistic rage. Difficult personalities and mental pathologies whose core part is narcissism cannot take criticism, and it is a consistent pattern. It defies the grandiosity narrative they created to survive.

A third detail that could be telling is how entitled the person is. We have all met someone who seems to act like the whole world owes them. This is a red flag to take into consideration.

Another element that might be informative is how much the person you are dealing with craves control. A control freak who can be genuinely compassionate and a kind-hearted soul can instead be suffering from Imposter Syndrome, though. A fair judgment will take time.

The last detail of this non-exhaustive list is the inclination to exploit both people and situations, sometimes without even showing any remorse, should they be exposed. They would rather gaslight you as a means of accountability avoidance.

Inherently secure good people versus still insecure ones

A simple detail to keep an eye on is the range of feelings they are openly showing and embracing, including the bad-reputation ones: frustration, anger, sadness, disappointment— you name it. The bigger the feelings scope is, the more secure people they are. Vulnerability is at the very top of the checklist. Observe them when they screw things up badly. Their apologies would come instantly and they would feel sincere. It takes a great deal of character strength to be vulnerable and expose ourselves to rejection. You want to have those precious people in your world!

Last words

I will leave you with some brilliant thinkers’ wisdom:

“The path of light is the quest for knowledge.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

“The most powerful people are the ones who never stop learning.”
― Rejoice Denhere

“There is a striking difference between going to school, and getting an education.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, Before You Doubt Yourself: Pep Talks and other Crucial Discussions

Educate yourself. When a question about a topic pops up, google it. Watch movies and documentaries. When something sparks your interest, read about it. Read, read, read. Study, learn, and stimulate your brain. Don’t just rely on the school system. Educate that beautiful mind of yours.

— Unknown


Myriam Ben Salem
Myriam Ben Salem
I am deeply passionate about everything life has to offer. Writing has been my very favorite means to educate my audience, captivate their attention, talk to their emotions, and make them relate and take action. I have been honored by working as a columnist for BIZCATALYST 360°, an Award-Winning life, culture, and biz new media digest, serving as the global hub for enhanced performance and well-being, during 2020. Also, I am a contributing author in Mayhem to Miracles: True Stories of Courage, Triumph, and Peace. I am so in love with writing that I have a peaceful smile drawn on my face whenever I start visualizing the books I will be writing for whoever will be tempted to discover an inclusive philosophy breaking with all the stigmas! I was born in Tunisia, a small country in North Africa. I did pretty much everything earlier than the average: walking, talking, singing, dancing. Promoted throughout my entire education, I was also the leader of every end-of-year party. At some point, after working several years for multinational companies as an engineer, team leader, project coordinator, and product owner while always being a top performer, I figured out I was feeling miserable despite the 'perfect external image'. That marked the starting point of an existential crisis followed by an episode that triggered my re-birth and the beginning of the most rewarding adventure of my whole existence: re-writing my subconscious program and reconnecting with my true self. I was saved at the last moment through an out-of-body experience making me see all the lies, realize this gigantic Universe was not revolving around me. Most importantly, I was able to visualize I was here to leave a legacy like all of you, no matter how big or small! The butterfly took time to emerge though. Today, I identify myself as a Universal Citizen. Like-minded and light-hearted people are what I call home. I am deeply passionate about everything life has to offer, and was granted the edutainer qualifier: a combination between education and entertainment! I educate on the importance of healing unsuspected traumas, seeing our limiting beliefs and biases with honest lenses, finding one's purpose and a principled mission that goes beyond the self, and unleashing the hidden potential so that to leave our legacy for the generations unborn. I have been using a panoply of means that could vary from explicit ones such as mentorship, speaking, and writing, a skill that emerged naturally during my self-actualization process to implicit mediums like storytelling, how I daily show up in the world and model servant leadership! Writing is my very favorite and most preferred tool deployed for my mission. The topics I explore are in the nexus of stoic philosophy, psychology, neuroplasticity, epigenetics, and pretty much any topic involving human behavior. Common denominator? The quality of the subconscious program. You may have a look at some of my works published on my website; Set Yourself Free.

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