I Am Sorry! I Apologize. Will You Accept My Apology?

Vantage Points Header Joel ElvesonTHIS MAN IS GUILTY of the crimes for which he is being tried for. A few moments ago this court heard him clearly say that he is sorry, that he apologizes, and is asking for his apology to be accepted. Your honor and esteemed jurors I ask you that if you have done nothing wrong you would find no need to verbalize the afore mentioned statements. His sad syrupy looking eyes that are swelled with tears only further reinforce that this man is guilty!

There is a misconception on the part of many members of our society today that issuing an apology is in fact an admission of wrong doing. With all due respect to those who subscribe to this theory I am going to categorically state that any form of offering up an apology is not an admission of wrong doing but it is a concerted effort to show humility.

When you examine the three statements closely you cannot help but be overcome by their beauty. A beauty that words alone cannot describe. The feeling of wanting to make somebody aware they mean something to you by way of expressing remorse. Should anybody we are even remotely close to pass away our natural instinct tell us to tell the mourner that we are sorry to hear about their loss. We care enough to offer sympathy by saying I Am Sorry! The only guilt in a situation like this is failing to acknowledge their grief.

I apologize can be an admission of having done something wrong while at the same time taking steps to rectify the wrong. This is not a sign of weakness but it is a sign of strength! These words when meant sincerely show you have character. No matter how minor the infraction was the apology is offered even no real harm was done.

Will you accept my apology? If you have in any way caused harm to another person that person is under no obligation to accept a simple I apologize statement. To truly bring closure to the event you should not only say I Am Sorry Or I Apologize but ask for your apology to be accepted. That extra step suggests a true feeling of regret.

Frequently we will instruct our children to apologize or say I am sorry to their sibling they have hurt. Yet few parents will express the same sentiments to their children. Parents make many mistakes over the years while raising their children. To lower yourself to their eye level so that you are not towering over your child but standing at equal level while admitting to your mistakes, offering up an apology in addition for asking for acceptance of your apology shows your children that yes you are human and you do make mistakes. However, when you realize what you have done wrong you immediately try to straighten things out. This is one of the most valuable lessons by example of your own actions that you can teach your children.

As adults we still need to be taught tolerance of others and to treat people as respectfully as we would hope they would treat us. Tolerance does not mean you give unconditional permission to be treated with arrogance. A type of arrogance that shows a total disregard for you as a person. Anger is the first emotion most of us feel. We then take our anger and direct it towards that person who probably will take great amusement at your outburst.

In situations such as the one above it is best to take on the role of the teacher by extending your own personal regret for this situation becoming heated. While the mean spirited “the word revolves around me” person may not immediately get your message in time they will. Operating on the premise this person has a conscience somewhere in their soul they will feel remorse for the way they treated another person.

If you are a habitual hurter of others there are no words that you can say that would allow anybody to forgive you. The apology you seek is intended for you alone so that you feel vindicated therefore your actions are justifiable time and again. When the cycle of life starts turning in the direction whereby you are now on the receiving end how will you feel? Would you accept a mea culpa knowing from personal experience what will happen next? Learn to make your apologizes stand on their own merit. If you are sorry prove it with action and deeds as words alone coming from you will ring hollow.

Relationships of any kind need to have tender touches to them. It’s hard to conceptualize (other than a mother giving birth to a child) a more tender moment than when a heart reaches out to try to heal another heart. That is the true meaning of the phrases that make up the title of this article.

Do your soul a favor by endeavoring not to purposely inflict pain in others by way of your words or the manner you come across to others. We were not put on this earth to hurt. We were not put on this earth to be arrogant, insensitive, uncaring, abusive and so forth. There will always be those who will dismiss these notions. However way they developed their negative traits is of no consequence.

What matters most is the commitments we make for the sake of decency to all. By saying and truly meaning with all of our hearts the phrases I Am Sorry, I Apologize and Will You Accept My Apology we are doing what is right. Take these phrases with you wherever you go.

Our pets deserve no less of our humanity than our fellow humans. Treat them with all the love you have to give as they will do them same. Yes, you can apologize to your pet.

Guilty of giving into issuing an apology? If you feel guilt you are guilty!


Joel Elveson
Joel Elveson
INDEPENDENT Executive Recruiting By Joel is an "up and coming" Executive Search Firm formed and headed up by Joel Elveson whose visionary ideas, leadership & creativity have brought to life a more "user-friendly" approach to recruiting. His clients and candidates form powerful strategic partnerships that we use to help you. Joel’s Firm offers Permanent, Temporary (case by case), & Temporary To Permanent staffing solutions for all of your Human Capital Requirements. Contract IT/Consultants are available if needed. Above and beyond they are experts (by way of their personal industry work experience) with mortgage, mortgage banking, middle-market banking, accounting, along with many others under the vast financial spectrum of disciplines. Their business goes beyond candidate recruiting as they also train, mentor and develop your internal recruiting staff with an eye towards helping you reduce the cost of hiring. They will also work in areas such as compensation, effective onboarding processes and alike. In other words, their business is to help your business by becoming an extension of you by filling in gaps that cause delay or waste. The recruiting methods employed by Joel’s team are time tested that results in a high rate of successful placements. Joel was trained in the art of recruiting by some of the top staffing industry executives in addition to the best recruiter trainers who to this day drive me to exceed the lofty goals he has set forth.

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