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How to Stop Being Afraid of Disappointing Others

Dearest hearts, those of you who are empathic, who feel the heartache, disappointment, and fears of another as if they were your own, have adopted a coping mechanism, living in fear of disappointing others or living for the approval of others, that is stifling your growth as an individual. Although, feeling the pain of another is an advanced ability, the coping mechanism of living for the approval of others, causes you to regress. Instead of following the guidance of your heart and becoming the empowered being for good that you desire to be, you’ve followed the delusion of the mind and allowed yourselves to be terrorized by the idea of not being good enough.

No, that which is causing you harm is your attitude about who you are and what you have to offer

We understand that failure is an unpleasant consequence that may be encountered on the life journey. Yet, failure, like all things, provides a unique learning opportunity so failure is not the problem. Even if you failed, again and again, it would not pose a problem. No, that which is causing you harm is your attitude about who you are and what you have to offer. As a sensitive soul, you have a second sense about others. You can pick up on their energetic output so you know what the other person may be feeling. Their discouragement becomes yours, their disappointment is felt within your being and their frustration with their life situation may suddenly seem as though it must be your responsibility. When you falsely assume that you can be responsible for another person’s life choices you’ve moved out of the empathic state of being into the “I have to assume responsibility for others” state and this is a danger zone.

Your gift of empathy makes you aware of what others may be feeling but it was never meant nor does it require you to fix another person’s situation

Your gift of empathy makes you aware of what others may be feeling but it was never meant nor does it require you to fix another person’s situation. Instead of seeing yourself as fixing their situation or helping, you must see it for what it is. Interfering or hindering another person’s ability to grow. So why then do empaths fear they will disappoint others and/or hold themselves back so that others can shine? Because instead of living the life journey they assigned themselves, they’re trying to live someone else’s. Instead of focusing on what they need to do to progress, they’ve gotten caught up in the trials and tribulations of another and they’re now living to please someone else instead of living to enhance their own life journey through exploration and advancement.

The empath in you lives in fear of being perceived as selfish, but it’s time for you to learn how to ask for direction from the Divine rather than trying to keep the peace by doing what others want you to do

If you’ve found yourself holding back or taking a path that feels good to someone else but not to you, it’s time for you to get out of your own way. Instead of determining your path by reading and absorbing the energy in the room, you must make your own way. The empath in you lives in fear of being perceived as selfish, but it’s time for you to learn how to ask for direction from the Divine rather than trying to keep the peace by doing what others want you to do. The fear that keeps you up at night is that you’ll somehow disappoint those whom you feel beholden to and that disappointment will then become your own no matter how hard you may have tried to please. Empaths, please understand this truth. Nothing you do will ever be good enough unless you’re working to satisfy a personal goal. If you continue to live your life chasing the dreams of another, you will never feel fulfilled. You will always feel like a failure and you will never succeed in pleasing those whom you are working so hard to satisfy. You cannot do the work for another person, you can only do it for you.

You cannot bring someone else to a better place successfully, they must do it themselves

When you feel overwhelmed and as if you are always disappointing others it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? What do I hope to gain? And what level of satisfaction am I hoping to receive?” If you have no personal goal attached to your mission, if your goal is to make so and so happy, then you’re transferring their goals into your life in an attempt to make them feel better about themselves and their life. However, you are not them. You cannot bring someone else to a better place successfully, they must do it themselves. They cannot do it for you and you cannot do it for them. Each one must do it for themselves. Take your attention off of what someone else wants, stop trying to get it for them, you’ll absolutely fail. Instead, place your attention on what you want and do all you know how to make your life better and to bring yourself joy. From your increased state of joy, you become a more powerful energetic being. Your light shines brighter and you’ll be able to help others find their own joy.

It is only when you begin using your sensitivity to find that which feels good to you that you’ll find your way forward into the success you’ve always desired but never thought was possible

No matter how sensitive you are you’ll never be successful at living someone else’s life. You will always fail at being them or doing it for them. It is only when you begin using your sensitivity to find that which feels good to you that you’ll find your way forward into the success you’ve always desired but never thought was possible. Yet, it’s from that pinnacle of success that you’ll be shining brightly and lighting the way for all.

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Marcia Martin
Marcia Martinhttps://www.mmhearthealer.com/
Marcia Martin M Ed – The Heart Healer, is a personal empowerment coach, channel, bestselling author, and podcast host on Dreamvisions 7 Radio Network who specializes in helping people heal their relationship with themselves. By healing the heart of all past pain and trauma you’ll be able to establish and maintain healthy relationships with yourself and all others so you can live a successful life. Her unique, heart-centered, energetic, healing approach, Angel Heart Healing, enables you to build the perfect relationship with yourself and answer the questions, “Who am I? Why am I here? and Where am I going?” Marcia will help you release your greatest fear so you can achieve your biggest dreams as you heal your heart and transform your life. Schedule your, thirty-minute Angel Heart Healing Breakthrough mini-session at https://www.mmhearthealer.com/coaching or join the Healing Hearts Community at https://www.mmhearthealer.com/community and be supported by Marcia and other like-minded individuals who are committed to personal empowerment.

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4 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Marcia, what a great article and what an important truth you shared when you wrote, “Your gift of empathy makes you aware of what others may be feeling but it was never meant nor does it require you to fix another person’s situation.” We want so badly to “fix” everyone’s problems because as loving souls we do not want them to suffer as we have. Yet, we remove from them the ‘choices and opportunities’ necessary to grow forward. Sharing and tagging you.

    • Kat your beautiful heart has shared such an important point. Yes, we want to prevent others from struggling as we have struggled and that is loving but we must also remember that when we try to fix, we’re really just interfering in another person’s opportunity to be introduced to their own magnificence. Thanks so much for the love you share with all. Sending you love and joy.

  2. Marcia, great article and I agree with it all. In additio to my own thoughts is that of the old theroy, “You can take a horse to water but you can’t make them drink”, so often I have given (upon being asked) my thoughts on something for that person to help them, and often the repeated questions keep coming until finally I have to say to them, ” I understand, I’ve given you my thoughts, but I can’t change you”. Only you can make the change.

    • This is so true Lynn and such an important point. No matter how much we may feel the pain of another, no matter how much we want to help and no matter how many resources we have at our disposal if they don’t want to be helped, to grow or to strengthen, there’s nothing you can do. Sending you much love and joy

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